The Oprah Effect

    I didn't want to write about the Oprah interview. I've made it very clear I'm not a fan of Harry & Meghan. I used to be then they announced they were "stepping away" to be independent and moving to Canada. Oh, and the Canadian taxpayer was going to be on the hook to pay for their massive security bills! WTF! You want to be an adult and independent? Pay your own way like the rest of us. It's not like they were broke. After all, he inherited 40 million from his mom. It really made me instantly dislike them. 

  Whatever your opinion on this couple I think we can all say that the racism directed towards Meghan was wrong. End of. But as bad as the tabloids were...and boy they were bad...the idea of having to deal with racism & bigotry from your family is a whole other level of wrong. There is no explanation. No excuses. And those who say they doubt it was as bad as she very clearly made it out to be, you need to stop talking. It doesn't matter what you think. If Meghan says it was racism then it was. Whoopie Goldberg once said that while she might not be able to tell you exactly what made something racist, she certainly knew it when she saw it. Meghan Markle saw it, she knew it, believe her.

  I did take exception to one part of the interview. Meghan saying that Kate made her cry and that she wasn't supportive enough. Let me just say...the inlaws do not have to like you or be supportive. Just because you are in the same family doesn't mean you are instantly best friends. Or even friends. I had a sister-in-law who disliked not only me but every single person in the family! And was quite vocal about that very fact. Like most adults we could get through a holiday meal together if we had to, or a funeral or wedding. But we were not all lovey-dovey. Not even close.  So Meghan complaining about Kate seemed almost whiney to me. 

  Now I wanted to address two things from this interview that I think were overshadowed by the racism conversation. Both involving the entire conversation about Meghan's battle with mental illness and suicidal thoughts. When a public figure speaks about their own struggles with this whispered disease I always want it to be the sole focus. It's so important to take this out of the shadows. And it was striking that she spoke about it as calmly as if it was diabetes or heart disease. Like it was a disease that anyone could suffer from. Who knows how many people could have benefited from that being the focus. Sadly we will never know.

  The other thing was something Harry said that made me sad. He has talked about and supported mental health initiatives for years. But during the interview, he told Oprah he was embarrassed to ask for help for his wife. How can that not make you sad? Someone who has spent many hours promoting mental health and taking away the stigma was a victim of the stigma. That makes me cry. But...it did show us just how real and prevalent this crisis is and no person is immune.

  My dislike for this couple is still there. It's hard for me to get past the entitlement they seem to feel they deserve. But boy oh boy haven't we all missed Oprah!!

  Ang

  

  

Dr. Seuss Controversy

 Dr. Seuss was not canceled. Let me repeat that...Dr. Seuss was not canceled. The people who control the legacy of this beloved childrens author have decided that six of the 60+ books published will no longer be printed. Not ripped off the shelves. Not burnt. Not shredded. Just no more new ones coming off the press. That's not cancel culture that's knowing better and then doing better.

 I have two kids who I read to every single day from birth to age ten or eleven and I have only heard of one of these titles. I don't recall ever reading it but the title is familiar. But someone within the Dr. Seuss Enterprise thought it was time to move on from these stories.  I'd bet money that had they not made the announcement not one single person would have realized they were going away! Certainly not the people who are talking about it nonstop that I'm seeing.

 As a society, we evolve. We change. We learn. What was considered ok in 1937 is not anymore. So we make improvements and make it inclusive. If we can't, we stop doing it. It's called being a respectful human being. 

  Too many people have used the phrase "snowflake" to describe others taking offense to these books. Apparently, they cannot understand how an entire culture could be offended by a picture in a book or words on a page. And they have no intention of trying. It doesn't insult or stereotype them so they don't get what the big deal is. It should also be noted that most of the uproar is from white people. A group that is rarely, if ever, negatively portrayed because of skin color. This past year we saw Black Lives Matter hashtags and signs being countered with All Lives Matter. Again white people. Obviously, we need to take a good hard look at ourselves if we cannot see any issue from another point of view.

  Are all white people racist? Of course not. But we sure have a problem accepting that things we say or do can be viewed as racially insensitive to others. I may not know that a word or picture is racist but if someone who it portrays tells me it is I believe them. Just because I didn't see it doesn't mean it isn't. We need to have the uncomfortable conversations or we will never learn. 

  FYI...my kid's favorite book, and mine to read to them, was What Was I Scared Of? by Dr. Seuss. Read that instead. It's fantastic.

  Ang

  

  

Just An Observation

 Here's an interesting observation...those who three months ago complained that the vaccines would not be safe because they were developed too quickly and not properly tested are the same people now complaining that those same vaccines are taking too long to get into people's arms! What the hell? You cannot have it both ways folks. 

 Go back a few months in your Twitter feed or Facebook posts and find those followers who spent many days bitching about how Health Canada was "pushing" through vaccine approvals without proper research and scrutiny. You'll find lots of comments about how they are not going to take the vaccine until others have so they can know they will be safe from it. Or that big pharma was paying off government officials to get things approved. It was something out of an X-Files episode.

 Now look at the past few weeks and see how these same people are now bitching about how long it's taking for the vaccines to be distributed and why haven't they gotten it yet! Talk about a flip-flop. And every single one of them is now in the highest risk category. But don't comment on it or you will be crucified for daring to note the hypocrisy of their words. 

 We are all suffering from "COVID fatigue" and we all want to be vaccinated yesterday. But the sad truth is Canada is not manufacturing our own doses so we must buy them and wait for them to arrive. Once they do get here they need to go to those who really need them most. Healthcare workers, military, police, essential workers are at the front of the line for a reason. They have kept us going for an entire year while we stayed home in relative safety. Surely people understand that.

 My biggest issue with the complaining is that negativity is contagious. You could spread a little light but choose dark instead. That darkness takes hold in someone else and the thread grows. A favorite saying for me lately is that positivity costs me nothing. It's a choice. One I truly wish many more people would embrace.

  In a few short months, all Canadians will be vaccinated. Not long after that so will the entire world. We will be having large family dinners again, weddings and funerals. Upon seeing a friend we will hug them and stand close together to get a photo. Restaurants, bars, and theater seats will be full and we will be getting on planes travelling to exciting destinations. It will happen I promise. 

 Stay positive. Stay optimistic. Stay safe. We are almost there. And in the words of grandmothers everywhere...if you can't say anything good don't say anything at all!

  Ang

Skip The Line

 Recently Meghan McCain was trending on Twitter and taking some backlash over comments on The View. While speaking about Dr. Fauci and why she thought it was time for him to move on and let other experts take over, she said: "The fact that I, Meghan McCain, co-host of 'The View', don't know when or how I will be able to get a vaccine because the rollout for my age range and my health is so nebulous, I have no idea when and how I get it".  Does that sound privileged to you?

  Full disclosure I am a huge fan of The View. I've watched it since day one. While I'm not a fan of Ms. McCain's opinions, I understand her role at the table. I believe she could get her point of view across without the nastiness she at times displays and the attacks on both her coworkers and guests are unprofessional at best. Not to mention hard to watch. She does show us how conservatives look at certain issues which we might not otherwise know. 

  All that being said...would she be a part of this highly-rated show if her father wasn't a much-beloved war hero? Or her words anger so many on social media? Of course not. But like so many other "famous" children she is successful because of her parentage. Let's face it, Jane Doe with a journalism degree would not be given an interview for that position let alone one in art history. Meghan got it for the same reason she got a book deal and a contributing writer gig...her last name.

  While she is the focus of the moment, she is not alone. Think Kardashian, Smith, McCartney, Jagger. The list is long. Individuals who have almost instant success in industries where that rarely happens. Does David Beckham's son have what it takes to be a model? Yes but so do hundreds of thousands of other 21-year-olds. They don't have the name recognition though. Or the contacts. Hence his success.

  Success on the coattails of your parents seems to be the norm for many "celebrity kids". They are willing to accept every benefit yet claim the success as their own. Perhaps I'm a little jealous as we have no benefits to endow on our children. My kids will succeed on their own merits which will give them a great sense of accomplishment. As a parent, I wish I could give them a hand up...even if they don't know it. 

  But back to Meghan McCain. Her comments were a great example of both white privilege and elitism. Why would it matter who she was or the fact she worked on a tv show when it comes to pandemic vaccinations? If you grew up rich and spend your days giving your opinions for the world to hear maybe you think you can skip the line. Even though she said she doesn't, it certainly seems like it. 

  No one is entitled to success. Or a vaccine. No matter what our job is or who our parents are. Now if we could just get politicians and celebrities to understand that. 

  Ang

  

Clear The Way

  As we try to keep life as normal as we possibly can for our kids sometimes I wish we could get a little help with it. Every day we are inundated with negative news, bad stats, and failing responses. The number of new cases and deaths are headlines. Yet we expect kids to carry on as normal. How in the hell can that happen?

  I had a conversation with someone who believes this pandemic is harder on seniors than kids. Without downplaying the hardship it is for isolated grandparents, I couldn't disagree more. Adults, whether they are 30 or 80 can talk about how they feel with a therapist or counselor and in some cases get medication from their doctors to deal with it all. Kids? They cannot explain what is wrong and most meds are not for their age group. What are they supposed to do to cope?

  Yesterday my son didn't want to take the bus home from school. When he asked for a ride I knew something was up. It seems a kid in his class was taken out by the teacher and never returned for the rest of the day. Why? Who knows. Might have been a dental appointment or a discipline issue. The problem is the other students, my son included, didn't know either. So they did what all teenagers do...they wondered why. And they went right to COVID. 

  From 10am till 2:10 my son and his classmates assumed they were exposed to COVID. Four hours of unnecessary stress and anxiety. All the teacher or principal had to say was "Bob" wasn't coming back and it wasn't COVID related. Period. The kids would have gone on about their business. Instead, they worried about transmitting it to their friends and family. How is that good for their mental health?

  Look I understand we are all doing the best we can most of the time. Learning as we go. But we need to put our children first. They are not always equipped to handle all that is thrown in their path. We need to clear it for them sometimes. Now is one of those times.

  Ang

True Love

  A few days ago it was -31 with the wind chill and I ran out of gas. Completely my fault. John came in minutes with the gas can and I was able to get to the orthodontist in time. He didn't say "I told you to get gas", which he had several times. No, he just poured the gas into the tank and watched me drive away.

  I had a weird dream once and couldn't go back to sleep for hours but I finally fell asleep at 5 am. The kids had to be driven to school because of COVID. Instead of waking me up John took an hour off work and drove them letting me sleep. When I finally woke up around noon there was coffee waiting for me when I came downstairs.

  We are renovating the bathroom and after the wall was built I casually said the ledge should be centered. Over the course of the next few hours, I could hear John working down there. After dinner, I went to look at the progress. The work he had been doing involved taking down the wall and restudding it. All so the ledge was centered...just like I had mentioned.

  One day I went to take a shower and there was a spider on the wall. A big one. John was in bed half asleep after a long day working outside in the heat. I came out of the bathroom and he asked why I didn't shower and I told him about the spider. He shook his head and got out of bed and got rid of it. 

  None of those scenarios is romantic. No flowers involved or candlelight. Not a romantic dinner to be seen or dancing to be had. Yet they are the things that really matter. They are the true symbols of love. The only ones that matter. The small things that daily paint the picture that your significant other is invested in you and your happiness. 365 days of the year...not just the made-up holiday one.

  Ang

  

Bell Let's Talk...Today Anyway

  Every year January 28 is Bell Let's Talk Day. It's a day set aside to raise awareness and money for mental health programs across the country. For every social media post with the hashtag, Bell Media will donate 5 cents. Simple, easy, and every year it raises millions of dollars. It's a wonderful initiative. The downside of it all? One day we are all talk and supportive...the days and weeks that follow? Not so much.

  We keep hearing the word "stigma" and how we need to remove it from our vocabulary and way of thinking permanently. So why do we lower our voice when we talk about a friend or family member who is depressed? Or an aunt who is bipolar? If mental health is no different than kidney stones or diabetes why the secrecy? Embarrassment...that's what. 

   Yesterday we were told that kids would be heading back to school while we are still in lockdown. I was told that they should not be going and when I said that of all the days to be dismissing mental health's importance I was told that at least they would not be dead from COVID. Okay, that's a point but if a teenager suffers from depression or anxiety it could last their entire lives!! Would any parent want to condemn their child to a life filled with those two diseases? I don't think so. But we make tough decisions every day as parents and we need to look at the whole picture and our kids mental health has to be part of the equation.

   So how do we change the way people talk and look at mental health issues? I used to think if you or someone you knew suffered from it then it would be easier to get people to open up about it. But the stats say 1 in 5 Canadians suffer from some form of issue. That means we ALL have a friend or family member already. And that didn't change anything. Then I thought well once you go to a funeral of someone who just couldn't go on because of their suffering that would immediately change your way of thinking. Yet sadly I can think of at least 4 people in my family and nothing changed for the majority of those left behind. I was wrong again.

  If death and suffering haven't turned the whispers into screams then honestly I don't know what will. It makes me sad knowing so many people are tortured and they cannot tell their loved ones about it. I always come back to something my mother-in-law said close to 25 years ago. "If my child had cancer or diabetes people would be offering support but because he is mentally ill no one will look at me or talk to me about it." Truer words were never said back then, or unfortunately, now.

  Keep talking. Always. And if no one listens talk to me...I will. That's a promise!

  Ang