Don't Cry Alicia!

 There is a social media influencer from Halifax, Nova Scotia, named Alicia McCarvell, who promotes body positivity, showcases her great sense of humor, and shares her adventures with her hubby. If you've come across her, you know how funny some of the videos are, and many of you have because she's got 6.2 MILLION followers on TikTok and 2 million on Instagram. What a success story!

  Every day, at least one of her videos crosses my screen, and usually I take a peek.  Her body-positivity posts inspire many. She is smart, talented, and yes, curvy. I've seen her give fashion shows, display what she bought at Costco, and go on vacation. She's got quirky glasses and laughs at her CPAP machine prettiness. Her husband Scott is in a lot of her videos, and he is one handsome dude who is obviously deliriously in love with his wife. 

  Alicia shares her life with all of us, and for the most part, we enjoy it, thank her, and appreciate the happiness she brings into our lives. But as we all know, sharing anything on social media comes at a price... keyboard critics who unleash their nastiness with the most vile, spiteful language. They feel they can insult, belittle, and criticize no matter the topic. Saying things they would never say to her face from the safety of their basements.

  But today I saw a video she posted, and it made me furious! She's crying. Yes, some loser, actually losers plural, made this woman cry. Someone they don't know. Someone whose videos they don't have to watch. Someone just trying to share their life with like-minded people. They made her cry. All because of the horrific, disgusting comments they have left on her posts. I said losers, but I really mean assholes.

  Alicia asked the question we all ask when someone we don't know comments on a Facebook post or a TikTok video we've posted: What did I ever do to you? The simple answer is nothing. You did absolutely nothing. These horrible people feel better about themselves by trying to make others feel bad. They really believe that people reading their comments think they are smarter than anyone else. They are jealous whether they can admit it or not. 

  We all read the comments. And 99 good reviews are overshadowed by the 1 nasty one. That's a sad fact, but a fact nonetheless. Nothing I say or do will change that. But here is something I do know: at the end of the day, we need to pity those who say these vile things. Their unhappiness, their bitterness about their lives, drives them to try to make the rest of us just as miserable. Misery loves company, or so they say.

  Don't stop sharing your life and your accomplishments. Keep making your followers smile, laugh, and celebrate with you. Don't let those assholes win. 

  And from one NS girl to another...keep hitting that block button!!

  Ang

  

Fly Away Little Birds

  As parents, we are always walking a fine line, trying to figure out when it's "time". Whether it's getting rid of the bottle or soother, social media accounts, or dating, we all struggle. Especially when it comes time for our babies to leave the nest. But when our "kids" reach a certain age, we all need to let go and let them claim both successes and mistakes as their own. Some of us are excited about it, and others can't seem to let go. 

  All around me, I see parents who never let go, and their adult children pay a huge price for it. Mom and Dad want nice apartments in nice neighborhoods for their offspring. Even when they themselves lived in a crappy one in a seedy area of town! Complaining that rent is too high, though we scraped up $500 a month when we were barely making $700 in "our day". So it was good enough for us, but not our kids? Interesting. Don't we all think we did a better job raising our kids than our parents did with us? If we truly believe that, then what's the problem?

  What many parents forget is exactly what we learned in those first few years of struggle. How to cook and stretch a food budget comes to mind immediately. We figured out Kraft Dinner didn't actually need butter and milk to be eaten, and that peanut butter could get us through an entire shift at work. Where we used to laugh at commuters on the bus, we sat happily beside them, thankful to be out of the rain or snow. And while our furniture was mostly hand-me-downs, we became thankful for a place to sit and a table to eat at. 

  I would say the biggest lesson we learned from our dive on Gaston Road was how much better we wanted our home life to be. We wanted nice furniture and a larger TV. We quickly understood that buying a good mattress might be the most important piece of furniture we could own, and we wanted it covered with a pretty duvet and soft pillows. And that a yard was a luxury we wanted! Armed with all this new information about ourselves, we worked harder, spent less on late-night pizza and beer, and brought our lunch to work. We grew up and began to realize what was important to us. A life lesson I'm not sure you can get in any other way. 

  Now we are on the precipice of sending our children into the world of bills and responsibility. They will learn to live with the consequences of their decisions. They will be the ones looking at their bank account balance of $17.22 and figuring out how to stretch that til payday. They'll need to learn how to change a furnace filter or fix a broken door lock. But you know what? They will. Cause we all did! It's part of growing up.

  I'm looking forward to the next phase of both my children's lives and the parenting journey that is changing yet again. It will be filled with happiness and excitement I'm sure. And you'll hear my voice cheering them on the loudest and proudest, no matter what they do. I'm their Mom after all!!

  Let the adventures begin!

  Ang

  

Do Better Women

 Do you know who Jessica from Aggressive Tutorials is? How about Brooke Ervin? Heather from Mrs Browns Kitchen? Well, if you don't, you should. They are three very successful social media "cooks". I used "quotation marks" because they do so much more than bake and prepare meals. They entertain, they educate, and they make us smile. All without making us feel less than. They are far from perfect and not Martha Stewart wannabes. They are you and me. So why is it that when women share on social media, other women take that as a challenge to tear down what they have created? Aren't we better than that?

 A little backstory on our subjects...Jessica and Brooke are moms of young kids, so you know they are tired. Heather has no kids but is married. For the sake of this post only, and the point I'm trying to make, I need to mention that one is overweight, one is gay, and one has an eating disorder. Why? Well, those are the exact things they are being criticized for. In 2026. How ridiculous is that? 

 On any given day, you will read comments from women trying to belittle their accomplishments. Lots of men too, but honestly, I expect more from women, I just do. And what is always the loudest criticism? Their recipes? Their lack of real measuring? Nope, the comments range from "you're too fat" to "I hate gay people." With a little "you should take better care of your kids" thrown in for good measure. Not to mention "get that cat off the counter." 

  If you don't like what, how, or by whom something is being presented, click to something else. No one is forcing you to stay on that site, reel, or TikTok. No one. But instead of moving on, you somehow feel obligated to comment about what you hate in a nasty way. So, my fellow women, I ask the question...why?  

  Does it make you feel superior? Do you think others are reading your comment and thinking, "wow this person is amazing"? Are you jealous? Think you could do better? Is something missing in your life? What trauma is making you behave this way? 

  Let me tell you a simple truth. These women have heard it all before. Many, many, many times. Think you are the first person to tell Heather you hate her, and she's going to hell? Think again. Do you think Jessica isn't aware of her size? I 1000% guaranttee you she is. Or telling Brooke she should really stop eating so much fried food is going to be an "aha moment" in her life? Ummm nope. 

  Women need to build each other up. We've got enough to deal with. If you can't help lift, then at least don't add any weight to our lives. Stay quiet and move along. Remember your mother saying if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all? That rule still applies. Or maybe, just maybe, try to figure out why you are compelled to judge total strangers in such a demeaning way. 

  We need to be better. We just do.

  Ang

  

  

  

 

 

  

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

 Advertisers want you to believe this is the most wonderful time of the year. That everyone is happy, smiling, and singing carols as they shop with no thoughts of price tags. As carols play happily in the background, we bake gingerbread cookies and baste turkeys, all while the entire family looks on with anticipation, joy, and love. I'm not trained in advertising, but what a crock that is! Let's be honest about the holiday season, rather than the "Hallmark moment" they are trying so hard to sell us.

  For at least 90% of us, cost matters. A lot! The $18 turkey we had last year is now $25. The potatoes, veggies and desserts are up too. Those nuts you only buy at Christmas? They might have doubled in price. And you aren't just buying for this one meal. You are adding on to your regular groceries. You could easily be looking at an extra hundred dollars, and that's on the conservative end. 

  Now that you've overspent on groceries, let's bring out the "wish list". Even if the list is shorter than last year, chances are it's still going to cost more. Video games, Lego sets, pajamas, and even Grandad's slippers went up. Sticking to your budget is almost impossible for most of us. We don't want to disappoint anyone, so out comes the Visa to save the day. Creating a whole new set of problems come January.

  Finances aside, let's not pretend the holiday season, spent with extended family, is without drama. There is always one who is too conservative that sits on the sofa next to the liberal. Someone always drinks too much and brings up "family secrets" at the dinner table. A child has a meltdown. Grandma criticizes. Tears are shed. A day or two with our nearest and dearest is exhausting! We are not meant to be on our best behavior for that long a time frame. We just aren't!

  While this might be your favorite time of year, keep in mind not everyone feels the same way. People are still ill and have loved ones in hospitals. Someone is standing vigil as a loved one dies or making funeral arrangements for another. It's the one-year, or tenth, anniversary of a death that still hurts. Grandparents cannot remember their own children or the celebrations of the past. It's rough for a lot of us. And while we may put on happy faces and try to enjoy ourselves, many are hurting inside from a pain they can not share. Be extra understanding of them. 

  Wow, it seems as if I've removed every ounce of joy from the holidays! Feel free to call me the Grinch or Scrooge. But I'm not looking for perfection over the next four weeks. Not in presents or food or decorations. Certainly not in conversations, visits, or parties. I'm hoping for a minute or two that becomes a memory, preferably a happy one. One that five years down the road elicits a smile or a laugh when it comes up at another gathering. Where we shake our heads and say "Remember when...". 

  That's what I'm aiming for.

  Ang

  

Sweet Karoline...Not!

  

  Karoline Leavitt bothers me...a lot! Like Kelly Ann Conway and Sara Huckabee Sanders before her, Ms Leavitt uses her pulpit to tear down women at every opportunity. She belittles, insults, and criticizes females daily. All in the service of a man who uses words like "piggy" and "nasty" to describe women who challenge him while bragging about walking in on teenage girls in various stages of undress. Makes me wonder how she and her predecessors look in the mirror every morning.

  What I cannot understand is how these women, both Conway and Sanders have daughters, defend their words to the women in their lives. Putting the politics aside and focusing on the personal attacks, how do you explain to a girlfriend over a glass of wine that in the process of defending your boss, you have to attack other women for doing their job? Questioning another woman's intelligence is your go-to insult that is televised around the world. How do you sit at Thanksgiving dinner with Grandma, who fought to be able to open a bank account and get a credit card without Grandpa's permission, and chat about your job being the spokesperson for a man found libel of sexual abuse? Bet that's weird.  

  The biggest hypocrisy of all to me is her exploitation of her faith. Again, like her predecessors, Leavitt talks almost daily about her faith being her guide. How being raised Catholic defines who she is and what she believes. That Christianity is her guiding light. Apparently my own Catholic upbringing was totally different than hers. I was taught to help people. To feed the hungry. Shelter those in need. Turn the other cheek. Do unto others...you get the idea. Were her parents, not to mention the priests, reading from a new edition of the Bible? Are there different religious guidelines in New Hampshire than in Nova Scotia? Ones that perhaps say be nasty to others? Or judge everyone? I don't think so.

  I believe she knows when she is stretching the truth or telling bald-faced lies. I'm pretty sure she isn't as under the influence as some may think. Karoline Leavitt may just be one smart cookie, who enjoys the world stage and being a headline on a daily basis. If, and that's a big if, she survives long term in this administration, she will have a book deal followed by a nice career on Fox News. Conservative groups will pay her to speak at their conventions, where she will talk about the "good ole days" of MAGA. 

  Karoline, be more supportive. More uplifting. More empowering. Protect your female colleagues from the misogynistic men in your workplace. In the infamous words of your boss's wife...be better.

  Ang

  

 

It Doesn't Really Matter

 It's the most wonderful time of the year...at least that's what the song wants you to believe. For me it is, with a healthy dose of stress and anxiety thrown in to make it less Hallmark movie-ish. But for many this time of year is dreaded. Feared even. Between social anxiety, too high expectations, and financial shortfalls, many families are worried about the next six weeks and beyond at an immeasurable level. I believe we can help those around us who are suffering without hurting their pride or depleting our own reserves. And perhaps helping ourselves in the process.

 This time of year we all tend to have more visitors. Normally that translates to food and drinks. But does it have to? I do not need appetizers and wine at every friend's house. I may need a glass of water or a coffee, but I do want my pants to fit after New Year's and that will not happen if I eat and sip at every stop. If you want to offer me something, peel a few mandarin oranges. They are super cheap and delicious this time of year, and we could all use a bit more fruit in our diet. Put anything on a festive plate and voila you are entertaining.

 One thing that would help everyone is not to be the hated "dropper-inner". Not everyone wants you to see the pile of laundry on the coffee table or the sink full of dishes. We are all still working on top of all the extras we have to do in December. Respect that. I always tell people I'm visiting them not checking out how clean their house is. But it's not about me, it's about them. Maybe they do care. Minimizing that helps no one.  Call, or better yet, text first. Let your friends decide whether they want to open their home to you. To those I have done this to...please forgive me.

 Alright let's talk presents. No adult, not one, needs anything. We might want a new sweater or a serving tray but we do not need one. Want and need are two very different things. As grown ass people, we can go buy what we need when we actually need it. Stop buying us "stuff". But if you do feel compelled, get a grocery gift card. Or one from a big box store that has everything. Movie tickets or restaurant vouchers. And to be brutally honest, you may think you know what we want, but you would be wrong. Chances are they are donating or regifting so save your money.

 Kids are a totally different story. You should be focusing on them this time of year. Their gifts do not need to be expensive. Most will not remember next year what they got. But they will remember watching a Charlie Brown Christmas with you or the nights wrapped in blankets, driving around looking at holiday lights. You gift-wrapping a small toy in a box, within a box, within a box is the stuff of lifelong memories. Time. Your time. Your focus. That's what kids need. Being their "present" will make the season happier and less stressful...for the whole family.

 Let's lower the bar this year. Say whatever I do is enough and mean it. No decorations? Ok. Stuffing out of a box? Delicious. Messy house, everyone is in pajamas? Perfect. None of it matters. Read that again. None of it matters. The only thing that matters is you and yours. 

 Ang

 

Thank You Jays!!

 Like so many Canadians, I needed a few days, more like a week, to get over the loss of the Toronto Blue Jays to the LA Dodgers in the World Series. It was heartbreaking!! But what a season they gave us!!! A whirlwind of home runs, comebacks, and nail-biters. Some games we jumped out of our chairs. Other times, we sat on the edge of our seats, praying they could just make one more run. We, as a country, enjoyed every single one of them! 

  Yelling at the screen at Coach John Schneider's in-game decisions was commonplace. Soon enough, we realized he knew more than us what was needed and who could carry it off...sorry about that John...and we relaxed, confident in his leadership. He defended his players fully, gave them chances to shine, and thanked the fans constantly for their support. 

  The big guys stepped up as always. Vladdy caught balls he shouldn't have been able to. He ran faster, threw harder, and slid better than we ever could have dreamed of. Even when he was injured, he was the loudest supporter from the sidelines. George Springer and his Whalers batting gloves hit a Canada Day grand slam that will be replayed every July 1 for decades to come! He played with unmatched skill, even while injured, throughout the entire season. Leading by example all the way.

  Clement, Varsho, Schneider, and Lukas were outstanding!!  Out-freaking-standing!!! Nathan Lukas made the most of his big league shot after twelve years in the minor,s ending the season batting in the second spot and starting every game. Clement hit the ball so often that he set an MLB record, getting 30 hits in one postseason! And his sliding! Legendary. Davis Schneider did whatever was asked of him. He pinch hit, he stole bases, he showed up! Dalton Varsho spent some time on the injured list, but when he came back, look out. He is so good at every aspect of the game and made catches that would have been impossible for anyone else. 

  Barger, France, IKF, Gimenez, Heineman, Loperfido, Straw...all played outstanding! Showing us all that being part of a team is about doing what is needed as a group, not as an individual. Come on, Gimenez drove in Ernie, IKF ran his heart out, and Barger hit a grand slam! Talk about contributing!

  The pitching staff...what can you say? Gausman was Gausman. Max Scherzer was intense. Bieber got the job done.  Trey Yesavage blew us out of our seats! And the bullpen was outstanding!!! We could not have asked for anything more from them. 

  Last but certainly not least, my favorite, catcher Alejandro Kirk. His bat was on fire. He picked off runners effortlessly. He called the games with a skill most catchers only dream of. All while being criticized for not looking like a professional athlete. They are right, he isn't a fast runner and has the build of a beer-league catcher. But he is a natural. Perhaps that's why he is my favorite. He shut up his critics by playing better than anyone. Besides, how fast do you really need to run when you are hitting home runs most of the time? Or to the warning track? Exactly. 

  They didn't win the big prize. However, they did win the hearts of this country. Pulling us together in a way only sports can. We showed our pride in them, ourselves, and our country. That is something we will always be grateful for. 

  Thank you Toronto Blue Jays!!! It was one hell of a ride.

Ang