Happy Graduation!!!

  We are now the proud parents of a high school graduate! Even though school was officially over on Monday the ceremony was yesterday. All 6 minutes of it! Because of COVID and the restrictions in place, it was one grad and their guests alone in the gym with a principal and a photographer. We got out of the car at 11:40 and back into it before noon. Not much pomp or circumstance for 14 years of work. But he got a cupcake!

  While we were excited, proud, and thrilled, our graduate not so much. He was over it. Already moving on to the next thing. High school was just a necessary evil for the real job coming up...life! Even university is just a hurdle to him. Not even a high one! Then on to changing the world.

  See this kid was born to do just that. For years we have known he thinks differently. Has bigger ideas than most. Figures out ways to implement changes that will help those who need it most. The only things keeping him from these successes are age and education. Both of which are quickly dissolving in front of his, and our, eyes.

  Congratulations Alex!! We are beyond proud. Beyond impressed. You are the future and it's very bright from where we are standing!!

  Mom

  

Harry & Meghan Again IMHO

  Every single day since the infamous Oprah interview I wake up to another opinion piece on Harry & Meghan. So I'm going to give mine this morning whether anyone asked for it or not. Which btw no one did but hey it's my blog specifically for that reason. 

  They have been married for over four years and Meghan is still talking about Kate making her cry before the wedding even though she says she "forgave her". It's obvious you have not. If the lead-up to the nuptials was so stressful, which I imagine it was, why didn't your closest girlfriends take the needed steps to shield you from it? That's what they are around for. And surely you had a wedding planner? Or a team of them! They should have been taking care of those final details, not you. Those of us on a budget might have to but not someone marrying into the British monarchy. It is time to move on or stop pretending to have forgiven her. Pick one.

  Harry is NOT a mental health expert. He can tell his own story. Explain his own way of dealing with things and what works for him. But he has no formal training in how to diagnose, treat or recover from any form of mental illness. That is important to remember. His story may help you deal with your own or give you ideas on how to cope which is wonderful. But we cannot pretend that he has any expertise beyond his own life and doing so is careless at best.

  They are elitists. Their home cost close to 20 million dollars. They are not sitting in coach or waiting for a table at any restaurant. I'm sure there are multiple nannies in the picture and a driver. Not to mention security details around the clock. And while "Meg" might be making the occasional waffle for Archie she is not scrubbing a toilet or cleaning the chicken coop! I would bet money her hubby has never done either in his life! I just wish they would stop trying to pretend they are just like us.

  I'm sorry they have both had to deal with mental illness. The idea that while pregnant Meghan thought about suicide is very sad. I hope she gets the help that she needs to heal and that they both are able to live healthy & happy lives with their children. 

  Harry's break-up with his family was in my opinion innevitable. He married someone who had only one family member at a wedding of 600. Meghan doesn't speak to most of her immediate relatives and most likely would not encourage her husband to do the hard work it takes to have a healthy and supportive extended family. In her experience it probably seems pointless. If they are like other couples I know in this situation, they will become abosrbed in their own little core unit with friends taking up the positions of aunts and uncles. 

  They stretch the truth. Why I don't call it lying is a Canadian niceness flaw I suppoose. Saying they got married before the actual wedding was a whopper. They didn't call it a symbolic wedding. They said they called the Archbishop of Canterbury, there is that elitist lifestyle I was mentioning previously, and got married in their backyard three days before the ceremony millions watched on television. Not true. Why would you lie about that? For what purpose?  Then my personal favorite...Harry saying he didn't realize their security would be taken away while in Canada after they stepped away from royal duties. Really? I knew about the IPP (International Protected Persons) list and who pays for security when they travel. How could he not? They were well aware that Canada was footing the bill for their 24/7 security costs and that once they left the IPP they would have to provide, and pay for, their own. That's why they left Canada as fast as they did. Yet they lied pretending it was a big shock to them. Not buying it.

  It goes without saying that racism should not exist and it is awful how Meghan was treated by the press and many people based soley on the color of her skin. While as an adult she could better deal with it, it's heartbreaking to think that someone could have hatred towards a child. They are the innocents and must be protected from any bigotry and hate though I imagine it won't be all sunshine in the United States for him either. 

  My final thought on all the hoopla...Stop talking to Oprah. Go to therapy. Raise your kids. Create your own life. Stop blaming others, even if it is their fault, and work on getting healthy. You have two small children focus on them.

  Until then, I'm going to adjust my filters so I can start the days off with some real news!

  Ang

  

Bye Bye Classrooms!

 The decision has been made...Ontario kids are not going back into the classroom till September. Whether you agree or disagree with this last-minute revelation it sure has sparked a conversation about what this will do to the mental health of children across the province. All the experts say it's going to be the next pandemic. Scary words.

 This means different things depending on the grade of the child. For example, my son in grade 12 wants to go back into a class about as much as I want to have a root canal. He is done with school entirely. Graduation isn't even necessary. Send that diploma in the mail in a tube and he will be happy. Grads are busy picking next year's courses, working, and sleeping. Getting up earlier and heading out the door before eight am has zero interest for most of them. Those who have struggled these past 18 months are focused entirely on getting the marks needed to move on. Other students would just be a distraction. 

  Now if you are in elementary school, at least the grades 1-6, are disappointed. They want their friends. Their games. Their fun days. June is the month of laughter and fun for those kids. Recesses get longer. Teachers find shady "outdoor classrooms" for the afternoon. You can't blame them for feeling sad. They aren't missing out on education in their minds. Just fun. 

  Still others are in limbo. Young enough to want to spend their days surrounded by their friends, yet knowing that falling behind will cause major problems in the years to come. Especially in the sciences. Grade 9 math started without a good foundation is the easiest way to fail...for even the smartest of kids. And can you imagine the kids going into grade 12 in September? Some who didn't do well online may not be able to get marks high enough to get into their program of choice. Penalized for something beyond their control.

  The big question I have is what happens in September? Other than being vaccinated what is going to be in place to protect my son? Has the ventilation system been upgraded? Are the class sizes smaller? What about cohorts? And are we back to 4 classes a day or still 2? When do we get the answers to those questions and many more? On the first day of school? To say that this is frustrating would be an understatement. Since the date for choosing whether our kids go back into the classroom or continue online has already passed, yes without getting any of our questions answered, we all must live with the decisions we made a few months ago.

  Let's hope we all made the right ones! 

  Ang

 

Fly The Flag

  Last night the school board my kids are in held a vote on whether to fly the Pride Flag on their building during the month of June. I am happy to say 9 of the 10 trustees voted yes. What makes this significant is it's a Catholic school board. This makes me wonder why the vote was even necessary in the first place considering what the schools have spent the last 14 years teaching my children. 

  Every single teacher both of my sons have ever had has stressed how everyone is equal. Everyone is loved and accepted. They are reminded of those basic facts daily. Children with special learning needs were part of the mainstream which was hands-on learning of these principles. My kids learned without knowing they were doing so. The best kind in my opinion.

  If all this time we've been telling kids that you are enough, you are valued, and everyone is accepted why would a flag showing that support need a vote? Adults...that's why. The students have friends who just happen to be LGBTQ...lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning. That's who their friends are. Period. They are not their gay friend or their trans friend. Just friends. It's the parents and adults in the room who have issues.

  Even in 2021, the idea that you love who you love is challenged. And certainly not to be accepted or supported by some. There is a belief that being exposed to an "alternate lifestyle" will take a heterosexual child and "turn them" into something "unnatural". I don't know about you but I tried a thousand different ways to get my kids to eat vegetables and clean up after themselves with no success. Whoever can "turn" them should be a bazillionaire from writing how-to books for parents!

  Children, especially those in the LGBTQ community, need to feel safe to thrive. They need to know that their family, their friends, and yes even their school, support them. Whether to pass a test, join a club, or try out for a sports team. Sadly sometimes the support isn't there at home so schools need to step up their game and fill that void. And that could mean simply seeing a Pride Flag flying above their school. Don't we owe them at least that?

  Our kids are different than us. They look at the world and sexuality differently than other generations before them. It's a non-issue for them. Our job is to not make it one and last night we took a much-needed step in doing just that!

  Ang

12 DAYS

  In less than two weeks my family will all have their first vaccine dose! Today my oldest son gets his and 12 days later it's the younger one's turn! I cannot describe to you how happy that makes me. Especially my kids. The idea that we all will have some level of protection after 15 long, tough months is a reason to celebrate. And celebrate we will!

  Vaccines mean my son can start university in person in the fall. Experience from day one all that this latest adventure in his life holds. Being in the lecture hall instead of looking at a screen will make him feel like a new chapter has really begun. And the youngest will be in class with his friends, complaining about homework and teachers, trying to remember his locker combination. You know normal teenage stuff. Right now there isn't a nicer word than normal.

  Those needle jabs mean we finally have a shot at visiting family. Parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles. Living away from them means our summer trips to see them are very important to us. Last year we weren't able to but this August we might just make it. If and when we do expect to be smothered in hugs. We've got a lot of time to make up for. 

  Once we and our friends are vaccinated we can have dinners. Drinks. Coffee dates. They can hang out by our pool. Kids will be playing video games together in person. My book club will laugh for hours...oh how we will laugh. John & I will go into a restaurant and be served a meal. And drinks. With total strangers sitting around us doing the same. Can you imagine?

  Think about it. In-person doctor visits. Offices with workers in them. Book store browsing. Normal wait times when calling the bank. Or CRA. Taking a car for a test drive. All everyday common occurrences that we never thought about but now dream of as a luxury. 

  All of this is possible with 0.05ml of serum injected twice with just 21 days between each. What are you waiting for? Sign up. Get the vaccine. We've already lost 3.47 MILLION people worldwide to this virus. Do you really want to add to that statistic?

Ang

Hello Cricket!

  Did I mention we got a dog? A sheepadoodle to be exact. Half poodle. Half English sheepdog. He's smart, easily trainable, and friendly to all. Cricket is a welcome addition to our little family. Alex has been asking for a dog since he first learned to talk. With him going to university in the city he will be around even when we are traveling so finally a dog made sense! 

  I had applied for so many shelter dogs I lost count. We never heard from any of them. It was frustrating and very disheartening. We had everything they were looking for... a fenced-in yard, someone home most of the time, and lots of love and patience. Yet every day passed and not a sound. At first, I thought maybe there are lots of folks looking for dogs. Then I saw another posting for one we had applied for saying still available. I now think it's because we were first-time dog owners. Which if true, is totally unfair.

  One day I was venting my frustrations on a rehoming site and a lady private messaged me. She explained that they were considering finding a new home for their puppy. As a nurse working full time during a pandemic, she was pretty stressed. Add to that she also has MS which is made worse by stress. As if that wasn't enough, both of her parents are long haulers of COVID and she is caring for them. But wait there's more. Her husband, a police officer, was just diagnosed with cancer! Can you imagine???!!!

  We messaged back and forth a few times over the next few weeks. It was a tough decision and they wanted to make sure they did the right thing for all involved. She sent me pictures, information, and told me stories. It was obvious they loved Cricket and were struggling with what was best for him and their family. Two weeks ago today I was contacted with the news that if we were still interested she would bring him over that same day. 

  Next came a moment I will remember my entire life. Let me set the scene...it's a little after 9am and both boys are sound asleep. They know nothing that has gone on with this family for the past few weeks. I wake them and ask them to come sit down with me. I tell them the health issues this family is dealing with. Then I say the words both kids had been waiting years to hear...they are giving us their dog! The smile on Alex's face was priceless. He glowed. Riley couldn't contain himself and was asking question after question. When I showed them his picture they erupted with happiness. I can't even explain it. It was palpable in the room.

  Two weeks have passed and the joy hasn't subsided at all. Alex is a little disappointed Cricket doesn't want to sleep with him...he prefers our room to any other. He has already eaten a sock. Let's hope that's only a one time thing. And we spend an awful lot of time standing on the front lawn while he makes up his mind whether he should go into the backyard or not. As soon as this shut down is over we are all going for training! 

  I do want to make one thing clear. We are not, I repeat not, fur parents. Cricket will be treated as a loved member of this family but he had four legged parents. And this momma only has 2.

  Welcome to the family Cricket!

  Ang 

  Ang

30 Days

  After an entire month without a post today I'm ready to get back into it. I will admit to being COVID tired lately. Tired of thinking about it, talking about it, worrying about it, and hearing about it. Being positive when the news kept getting worse became too much for these tired shoulders. But after a bit of a pity party with myself as host, guest of honor, and caterer I feel like myself again. And while I am still "tired of it all" I can once again see the light at the end of this long tunnel.

  A lot has happened in the past month. First my youngest was off for two weeks after a "close contact exposure" at school. It ended up two or three kids in his class tested positive for COVID. As a parent, it's scary to wait for test results for something as serious as that. Not to mention the fear a 14-year-old has of perhaps having infected his family and friends. Thankfully he was negative but still had to isolate another week after the clear results. We sure are getting a lot of family togetherness these past 14 months!

  We are in the midst of yet another 28-day shutdown. Only curbside pick up for anything not grocery or medicine related. The biggest lineup I've seen is at the weed store which could be a problem when all this is over I suppose. Yet even in shutdown some people still visited family and friends indoors over the Easter holiday weekend. When getting my son's test done a lady beside us had her three small kids in explaining they only went to her parent's house for an hour but wanted to be safe. Now she wanted to be safe...ridiculous. And they wonder why our infection rate is on the rise.

  Probably the most exciting thing for my family is...drumroll please...we got a dog! Yup we finally caved to Alex's life-long pleas and a dog fell into our lives like it was meant to be. Cricket's owners (I lost the vote on changing his name to Loki & I'm still a little bitter about that) are going through some pretty serious health issues and reluctantly made the decision they couldn't give him the time and care needed for a puppy to grow. They approached us about taking him and we happily agreed. He is settling in and has easily won the hearts of the entire family.

  One benefit of a dog is the number of steps you take during the course of a day. Throw in two walks a day and boom you are getting a light tan in the early April sunshine! And your Fitbit makes weird movements more often. The weather has been super and we are certainly taking advantage as much as we can. Coffee on the deck in the late morning. Taking the cover off the pool and envisioning how great it will be when we can finally jump in. Seriously that thought has kept us going for a week now.

  Another big change for us over the past month is a new car. We finally decided that KIA was too dangerous for us, and most certainly Alex, to drive. After watching a Marketplace episode about other owners' troubles, fires and accidents we knew the time had come. Now we are the proud owners of a Honda. It's got lots of bells and whistles but my favorite, besides Sirius Radio, is the sunroof! I've never had one before and I love it! It might not be so great in mid-July when it's 45 degrees but right now it's perfect.

  The thing that has brought the most joy is probably the same thing for all of you. My Mom and my inlaws got vaccinated! Three fewer people to worry about. It makes me happy that those people most important to me are getting protected. My brothers and sisters have either received dose #1 or have appts or registered for theirs. Friends who keep me sane like Janet are rolling their sleeves up in the next week or so. And tomorrow my rock in all things gets his first dose! It makes me sleep a little easier.

  That's about it. 30 days of COVID restrictions doesn't lead to many interesting adventures, does it? We just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Staying safe. Staying home. Staying healthy. I hope you are too.

  Ang

The Oprah Effect

    I didn't want to write about the Oprah interview. I've made it very clear I'm not a fan of Harry & Meghan. I used to be then they announced they were "stepping away" to be independent and moving to Canada. Oh, and the Canadian taxpayer was going to be on the hook to pay for their massive security bills! WTF! You want to be an adult and independent? Pay your own way like the rest of us. It's not like they were broke. After all, he inherited 40 million from his mom. It really made me instantly dislike them. 

  Whatever your opinion on this couple I think we can all say that the racism directed towards Meghan was wrong. End of. But as bad as the tabloids were...and boy they were bad...the idea of having to deal with racism & bigotry from your family is a whole other level of wrong. There is no explanation. No excuses. And those who say they doubt it was as bad as she very clearly made it out to be, you need to stop talking. It doesn't matter what you think. If Meghan says it was racism then it was. Whoopie Goldberg once said that while she might not be able to tell you exactly what made something racist, she certainly knew it when she saw it. Meghan Markle saw it, she knew it, believe her.

  I did take exception to one part of the interview. Meghan saying that Kate made her cry and that she wasn't supportive enough. Let me just say...the inlaws do not have to like you or be supportive. Just because you are in the same family doesn't mean you are instantly best friends. Or even friends. I had a sister-in-law who disliked not only me but every single person in the family! And was quite vocal about that very fact. Like most adults we could get through a holiday meal together if we had to, or a funeral or wedding. But we were not all lovey-dovey. Not even close.  So Meghan complaining about Kate seemed almost whiney to me. 

  Now I wanted to address two things from this interview that I think were overshadowed by the racism conversation. Both involving the entire conversation about Meghan's battle with mental illness and suicidal thoughts. When a public figure speaks about their own struggles with this whispered disease I always want it to be the sole focus. It's so important to take this out of the shadows. And it was striking that she spoke about it as calmly as if it was diabetes or heart disease. Like it was a disease that anyone could suffer from. Who knows how many people could have benefited from that being the focus. Sadly we will never know.

  The other thing was something Harry said that made me sad. He has talked about and supported mental health initiatives for years. But during the interview, he told Oprah he was embarrassed to ask for help for his wife. How can that not make you sad? Someone who has spent many hours promoting mental health and taking away the stigma was a victim of the stigma. That makes me cry. But...it did show us just how real and prevalent this crisis is and no person is immune.

  My dislike for this couple is still there. It's hard for me to get past the entitlement they seem to feel they deserve. But boy oh boy haven't we all missed Oprah!!

  Ang

  

  

Dr. Seuss Controversy

 Dr. Seuss was not canceled. Let me repeat that...Dr. Seuss was not canceled. The people who control the legacy of this beloved childrens author have decided that six of the 60+ books published will no longer be printed. Not ripped off the shelves. Not burnt. Not shredded. Just no more new ones coming off the press. That's not cancel culture that's knowing better and then doing better.

 I have two kids who I read to every single day from birth to age ten or eleven and I have only heard of one of these titles. I don't recall ever reading it but the title is familiar. But someone within the Dr. Seuss Enterprise thought it was time to move on from these stories.  I'd bet money that had they not made the announcement not one single person would have realized they were going away! Certainly not the people who are talking about it nonstop that I'm seeing.

 As a society, we evolve. We change. We learn. What was considered ok in 1937 is not anymore. So we make improvements and make it inclusive. If we can't, we stop doing it. It's called being a respectful human being. 

  Too many people have used the phrase "snowflake" to describe others taking offense to these books. Apparently, they cannot understand how an entire culture could be offended by a picture in a book or words on a page. And they have no intention of trying. It doesn't insult or stereotype them so they don't get what the big deal is. It should also be noted that most of the uproar is from white people. A group that is rarely, if ever, negatively portrayed because of skin color. This past year we saw Black Lives Matter hashtags and signs being countered with All Lives Matter. Again white people. Obviously, we need to take a good hard look at ourselves if we cannot see any issue from another point of view.

  Are all white people racist? Of course not. But we sure have a problem accepting that things we say or do can be viewed as racially insensitive to others. I may not know that a word or picture is racist but if someone who it portrays tells me it is I believe them. Just because I didn't see it doesn't mean it isn't. We need to have the uncomfortable conversations or we will never learn. 

  FYI...my kid's favorite book, and mine to read to them, was What Was I Scared Of? by Dr. Seuss. Read that instead. It's fantastic.

  Ang

  

  

Just An Observation

 Here's an interesting observation...those who three months ago complained that the vaccines would not be safe because they were developed too quickly and not properly tested are the same people now complaining that those same vaccines are taking too long to get into people's arms! What the hell? You cannot have it both ways folks. 

 Go back a few months in your Twitter feed or Facebook posts and find those followers who spent many days bitching about how Health Canada was "pushing" through vaccine approvals without proper research and scrutiny. You'll find lots of comments about how they are not going to take the vaccine until others have so they can know they will be safe from it. Or that big pharma was paying off government officials to get things approved. It was something out of an X-Files episode.

 Now look at the past few weeks and see how these same people are now bitching about how long it's taking for the vaccines to be distributed and why haven't they gotten it yet! Talk about a flip-flop. And every single one of them is now in the highest risk category. But don't comment on it or you will be crucified for daring to note the hypocrisy of their words. 

 We are all suffering from "COVID fatigue" and we all want to be vaccinated yesterday. But the sad truth is Canada is not manufacturing our own doses so we must buy them and wait for them to arrive. Once they do get here they need to go to those who really need them most. Healthcare workers, military, police, essential workers are at the front of the line for a reason. They have kept us going for an entire year while we stayed home in relative safety. Surely people understand that.

 My biggest issue with the complaining is that negativity is contagious. You could spread a little light but choose dark instead. That darkness takes hold in someone else and the thread grows. A favorite saying for me lately is that positivity costs me nothing. It's a choice. One I truly wish many more people would embrace.

  In a few short months, all Canadians will be vaccinated. Not long after that so will the entire world. We will be having large family dinners again, weddings and funerals. Upon seeing a friend we will hug them and stand close together to get a photo. Restaurants, bars, and theater seats will be full and we will be getting on planes travelling to exciting destinations. It will happen I promise. 

 Stay positive. Stay optimistic. Stay safe. We are almost there. And in the words of grandmothers everywhere...if you can't say anything good don't say anything at all!

  Ang

Skip The Line

 Recently Meghan McCain was trending on Twitter and taking some backlash over comments on The View. While speaking about Dr. Fauci and why she thought it was time for him to move on and let other experts take over, she said: "The fact that I, Meghan McCain, co-host of 'The View', don't know when or how I will be able to get a vaccine because the rollout for my age range and my health is so nebulous, I have no idea when and how I get it".  Does that sound privileged to you?

  Full disclosure I am a huge fan of The View. I've watched it since day one. While I'm not a fan of Ms. McCain's opinions, I understand her role at the table. I believe she could get her point of view across without the nastiness she at times displays and the attacks on both her coworkers and guests are unprofessional at best. Not to mention hard to watch. She does show us how conservatives look at certain issues which we might not otherwise know. 

  All that being said...would she be a part of this highly-rated show if her father wasn't a much-beloved war hero? Or her words anger so many on social media? Of course not. But like so many other "famous" children she is successful because of her parentage. Let's face it, Jane Doe with a journalism degree would not be given an interview for that position let alone one in art history. Meghan got it for the same reason she got a book deal and a contributing writer gig...her last name.

  While she is the focus of the moment, she is not alone. Think Kardashian, Smith, McCartney, Jagger. The list is long. Individuals who have almost instant success in industries where that rarely happens. Does David Beckham's son have what it takes to be a model? Yes but so do hundreds of thousands of other 21-year-olds. They don't have the name recognition though. Or the contacts. Hence his success.

  Success on the coattails of your parents seems to be the norm for many "celebrity kids". They are willing to accept every benefit yet claim the success as their own. Perhaps I'm a little jealous as we have no benefits to endow on our children. My kids will succeed on their own merits which will give them a great sense of accomplishment. As a parent, I wish I could give them a hand up...even if they don't know it. 

  But back to Meghan McCain. Her comments were a great example of both white privilege and elitism. Why would it matter who she was or the fact she worked on a tv show when it comes to pandemic vaccinations? If you grew up rich and spend your days giving your opinions for the world to hear maybe you think you can skip the line. Even though she said she doesn't, it certainly seems like it. 

  No one is entitled to success. Or a vaccine. No matter what our job is or who our parents are. Now if we could just get politicians and celebrities to understand that. 

  Ang

  

Clear The Way

  As we try to keep life as normal as we possibly can for our kids sometimes I wish we could get a little help with it. Every day we are inundated with negative news, bad stats, and failing responses. The number of new cases and deaths are headlines. Yet we expect kids to carry on as normal. How in the hell can that happen?

  I had a conversation with someone who believes this pandemic is harder on seniors than kids. Without downplaying the hardship it is for isolated grandparents, I couldn't disagree more. Adults, whether they are 30 or 80 can talk about how they feel with a therapist or counselor and in some cases get medication from their doctors to deal with it all. Kids? They cannot explain what is wrong and most meds are not for their age group. What are they supposed to do to cope?

  Yesterday my son didn't want to take the bus home from school. When he asked for a ride I knew something was up. It seems a kid in his class was taken out by the teacher and never returned for the rest of the day. Why? Who knows. Might have been a dental appointment or a discipline issue. The problem is the other students, my son included, didn't know either. So they did what all teenagers do...they wondered why. And they went right to COVID. 

  From 10am till 2:10 my son and his classmates assumed they were exposed to COVID. Four hours of unnecessary stress and anxiety. All the teacher or principal had to say was "Bob" wasn't coming back and it wasn't COVID related. Period. The kids would have gone on about their business. Instead, they worried about transmitting it to their friends and family. How is that good for their mental health?

  Look I understand we are all doing the best we can most of the time. Learning as we go. But we need to put our children first. They are not always equipped to handle all that is thrown in their path. We need to clear it for them sometimes. Now is one of those times.

  Ang

True Love

  A few days ago it was -31 with the wind chill and I ran out of gas. Completely my fault. John came in minutes with the gas can and I was able to get to the orthodontist in time. He didn't say "I told you to get gas", which he had several times. No, he just poured the gas into the tank and watched me drive away.

  I had a weird dream once and couldn't go back to sleep for hours but I finally fell asleep at 5 am. The kids had to be driven to school because of COVID. Instead of waking me up John took an hour off work and drove them letting me sleep. When I finally woke up around noon there was coffee waiting for me when I came downstairs.

  We are renovating the bathroom and after the wall was built I casually said the ledge should be centered. Over the course of the next few hours, I could hear John working down there. After dinner, I went to look at the progress. The work he had been doing involved taking down the wall and restudding it. All so the ledge was centered...just like I had mentioned.

  One day I went to take a shower and there was a spider on the wall. A big one. John was in bed half asleep after a long day working outside in the heat. I came out of the bathroom and he asked why I didn't shower and I told him about the spider. He shook his head and got out of bed and got rid of it. 

  None of those scenarios is romantic. No flowers involved or candlelight. Not a romantic dinner to be seen or dancing to be had. Yet they are the things that really matter. They are the true symbols of love. The only ones that matter. The small things that daily paint the picture that your significant other is invested in you and your happiness. 365 days of the year...not just the made-up holiday one.

  Ang

  

Bell Let's Talk...Today Anyway

  Every year January 28 is Bell Let's Talk Day. It's a day set aside to raise awareness and money for mental health programs across the country. For every social media post with the hashtag, Bell Media will donate 5 cents. Simple, easy, and every year it raises millions of dollars. It's a wonderful initiative. The downside of it all? One day we are all talk and supportive...the days and weeks that follow? Not so much.

  We keep hearing the word "stigma" and how we need to remove it from our vocabulary and way of thinking permanently. So why do we lower our voice when we talk about a friend or family member who is depressed? Or an aunt who is bipolar? If mental health is no different than kidney stones or diabetes why the secrecy? Embarrassment...that's what. 

   Yesterday we were told that kids would be heading back to school while we are still in lockdown. I was told that they should not be going and when I said that of all the days to be dismissing mental health's importance I was told that at least they would not be dead from COVID. Okay, that's a point but if a teenager suffers from depression or anxiety it could last their entire lives!! Would any parent want to condemn their child to a life filled with those two diseases? I don't think so. But we make tough decisions every day as parents and we need to look at the whole picture and our kids mental health has to be part of the equation.

   So how do we change the way people talk and look at mental health issues? I used to think if you or someone you knew suffered from it then it would be easier to get people to open up about it. But the stats say 1 in 5 Canadians suffer from some form of issue. That means we ALL have a friend or family member already. And that didn't change anything. Then I thought well once you go to a funeral of someone who just couldn't go on because of their suffering that would immediately change your way of thinking. Yet sadly I can think of at least 4 people in my family and nothing changed for the majority of those left behind. I was wrong again.

  If death and suffering haven't turned the whispers into screams then honestly I don't know what will. It makes me sad knowing so many people are tortured and they cannot tell their loved ones about it. I always come back to something my mother-in-law said close to 25 years ago. "If my child had cancer or diabetes people would be offering support but because he is mentally ill no one will look at me or talk to me about it." Truer words were never said back then, or unfortunately, now.

  Keep talking. Always. And if no one listens talk to me...I will. That's a promise!

  Ang

The Calm After The Storm

  I woke up this morning feeling I had lost 10 lbs and 20 points off my blood pressure. My coffee tastes better and my house looks cleaner. There is a bounce in my step and even my hair seems shinier. I don't need to explain why. The world is feeling the same way!

  Since we are still in lockdown, will it ever end, my day is pretty uneventful. More Christmas decorations going into the storage room. Another load in the dishwasher. Some time on the treadmill. Checking Twitter between each task. An average day just with a bit more hope injected into it.

  I know there are many people in the US who are not as happy as many non-citizens about the new Pres but in the words of Mick Jagger...you can't always get what you want. Even if you were a Trump supporter on policy, the daily chaos must have tired you out like it did everyone else. A little peace and serenity won't hurt you.

  So today...just 24 hours...let the world breathe, relax, enjoy the calmness. Tomorrow may be another story.

  Ang

  

Thirty Day Recap

  It has been exactly one month since I sat down to write. In that month I have wanted to talk about so many things but sometimes the words do not fall onto the paper like I would want so I leave them there til I can make them into the thoughts I want to express. While I am waiting for that miracle to happen let me skim over the last 30 days of my life for ya.

  The biggest & best news of the season is Trump is gone. Not out with a whimper but out with a bang. It's official in the courts, in the congress, in the senate...everywhere but in Trump's head. True to form, he is still rilling up his supporters, of which there are many. It has cost him another impeachment which honestly I'm Canadian and don't really understand the harm of it because the first one did absolutely nothing except make him more popular. In 5 days the orange-faced jackass will slither off to Florida to continue on his "I was robbed" tour from the comforts of his golden retreat. On behalf of the world...good riddance!

  Vaccines are rolling out and into the arms of Canadians. Not at the speed we would all like but progress is being made. Many healthcare workers and LTC residents have gotten one, if not two, doses. We just need to keep our shirt sleeves rolled and soon we will be seeing a return to the normal lives we didn't know we enjoyed so much. Public Health across the country will get a standing ovation when we are all vaccinated...not to mention a long rest! 

  The holidays were a modified success. Meaning they were quiet with only us but we kept as many traditions as we could. The kids got more presents than they ever have since we are not vacation bound in the spring. I'm forever thankful for online shopping or no one would have received anything! I have planned our 2021 Christmas holidays and let me assure you it looks nothing like this past one! Except the people of course.

  School is back on-line after the holiday season where apparently not everyone stayed home and away from others. It's hard to watch my kids be isolated again. I know it's difficult for them to put into words just how tired and frustrated they are with the entire situation. We stay positive for them and try to make them laugh daily. Though my oldest talking about what home he is putting us in is getting a little worrisome. 

  Babies have been born and friends have mourned the loss of loved ones. We laughed. We cried. We screamed. I bought a fire pit and we watched the flames until we became too cold. I cooked. I cleaned. I cursed the ever-growing laundry pile. We watched too much tv and finally finished Poldark though it's taken so long I forgot how it all started. Harry Potter trivia kicked our butts but my kids know way, way, way too much about The Office.

  That is the past month in a nutshell. We survived and with the new extended lockdown, we will continue to do so. There is light at the end of our tunnel. Focus on that.

   "It will be all right in the end. If it's not all right it's not the end."

  Ang