Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

 Remember that Sex & The City episode Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda? That phrase, from season 4 episode 11,  keeps jumping into my brain whenever I think about decorating, shopping, or anything related to the holiday season! My hubby doesn't have those same thoughts. My "kids" don't either. It seems to be just me...oh and probably 99% of all women I know!!!

  I coulda started decorating earlier. The planters could have been done in November when the mornings were chilly and the first frost was on the car. Sitting on the front step in the mid-day sunshine would have been perfect to create a beautiful display. Instead, I've opted to wait til the first really cold day and freeze my ass off. Just like last year!

 I woulda shopped earlier if I had known the post office would go on strike! Instead, I've had every reason to put off getting those gifts that must be shipped across the country. Now I'm scrambling to figure out not only what to buy but how to get it there! One more thing to stress about at the most stressful time of the year.

  I shoulda listened to my inner voice and kept things small. Manageable. Nope, I thought decorate everything, put up multiple trees, shop for everyone. It's not as if history has shown me everyone will help! I've created the situation myself like most women have. And we all have grocery shopping, baking, cooking, and cleaning to look forward to during the remaining weeks of December. Lucky us!!!

  Honestly, the holidays will come and go. We won't remember the mashed potatoes or the decorations. No one will talk about the tree being perfect or those homemade cheeseballs. Instead, we will laugh for years to come over forgetting to turn on the oven or waking up to the dog having ripped open every gift. Our kids will tell their kids about Grandma who read them The Night Before Christmas and how we all fit on the couch to watch a Charlie Brown Christmas for the tenth time. 

  While we all may feel stressed we couldn't, wouldn't, and shouldn't change one thing about the time we spend with our families during this magical time!

  Ang

  

Let That Sink In

 According to the US Census Bureau, there are 97 males per every 100 females. Meaning women make up approximately 50.5% of the population. By a slim margin, women are the majority. Yet they have less rights than their male counterparts. Let that sink in. 

 Forget about therapeutic abortions for the sake of this conversation. Basic healthcare is being denied to half the population. A D&C, dilation and curettage with or without suction, is basic healthcare for women. In cases of miscarriage, this procedure can save the woman from infection, infertility, and death. Yet doctors can go to jail for performing it depending on the state. Oh and if your doctor decides not to because of fear of prison you might not be allowed to leave your state to have it done either. Not just your right to healthcare but your movements as well are controlled. Let that sink in. 

  If you have an ectopic pregnancy it cannot result in a healthy pregnancy. Again the procedure or medication to treat this will result in the ending of the pregnancy...a crime in many states. Doing nothing will almost guarantee the death of the mother. Doctors have to make a choice. It's out of your hands. Let that sink in.

  A young girl barely 12 ends up pregnant from repeated sexual abuse. She is terrified, in shock, and damaged. She needs to heal both physically and mentally. A task that will take a lifetime. Yet people she doesn't know and doesn't trust have decided that carrying that fetus to term is the best thing for her. Let that sink in.

  Imagine being raped and finding out you will be forced to give birth to your rapist's child. What happens to the woman's mental health over the next 36 weeks? What if after giving birth she abuses the child? You could understand if she hated this constant reminder of her violation. The government doesn't care what happens to the child after birth just that it's born. Let that sink in.

  Okay so let's bring therapeutic abortion back into this. This one is simple. If you do not want to have one for whatever reason then do not have one. Your circumstances are not the same as everyone else's. You cannot decide for others based on your own morality or religion. It's simply not your business. Imagine if a stranger could decide things about your health without knowing one thing about your life or situation. I guarantee you wouldn't like it.

  Being denied healthcare is wrong. Denial based solely on your ability to procreate is even worse. Women are more than their reproductive organs and should be treated based on their entire body not just their fallopian tubes. 

  One final thought...close your eyes, think of the situations I've just laid out for you, and think about how scared, confused, and angry those women would be. Now imagine that woman was you...or your daughter. 

  Let that sink in.

  Ang

** I "borrowed" the final thought idea from John Grisham's spectacular book A Time To Kill because honestly, it's brilliant!" **