Bullies Beware!

  Sometimes things are very hard to say. We know when we say them, we are putting ourselves out there for judgment, condescension, and ridicule. When an adult does it, we say how brave they are. How much courage it took to speak the words. But what we don't see often enough is teenagers saying those difficult words. Speaking their hard truths. And when we do, we should really take notice of what they say.

  Let me tell you what happened earlier this month. My son spoke his truth. He put himself out there. Bared his proverbial soul. Told the world how he was bullied throughout his high school years. Most didn't know it was happening. Some did know, but not the extent of it. I cried reading his words. Having lived through it with him, having those same feelings of helplessness, anger, and sadness, I was proud and relieved, he chose to take a healthy way to deal with the emotions involved. I would have hated for him to be bitter and angry...ok he is a teenager, so he's always bitter and angry, but that's a different subject for a different day.

  When your kid says, "I'm being teased at school" put down whatever you are doing and listen. Listen carefully. Let them take their time and explain as much as they want to or can. Then ask questions. How many kids? How often? What do they say? Don't worry about your kid using swear words or slurs. These are the words that are being thrown in their direction. You need to know them. Explain how bullies are weak and afraid. That they do this because they think it makes them look better and stronger. But don't stop there. 

  Talk to the school. Yes, I know your child will tell you it will make it worse, they are correct by the way, but you need to let those in charge know that it is happening and that you are taking steps to stop it. Let them know you will keep them in the loop and that if need be, you will be asking them for help. Don't stop there either. Call your local Public Health unit, doctor, or police. Ask anyone who might be able to give some advice. Older siblings. Other parents. Do not, under any circumstances, stop asking for help!

  The sad, awful truth is that high school is awful. As are the teenagers walking the halls. Every student gets bullied to some degree. You are not pretty enough or too pretty. Not smart enough or too smart. You're the gay kid or the poor kid. You dress funny, you've got bad hair, or you're fat. Nothing is off limits. Some get off lightly. But those who don't...their lives can be made unbearable. To the point where they cannot see it ever ending and decide to take their own lives. We cannot be ok with that!

  To the parents of kids who have been, or are being, bullied, you have my full support. I'll give you whatever strength or advice you need. To those parents whose kids are doing the bullying, don't pretend your kid couldn't do that. They can! They do! Open your eyes. Accept that your child isn't perfect and help them learn to be better. Chances are they are hurting too and could really use your support. 

  Don't let the bullies win. You have the strength they wish they had. Remember that!

  Ang