Bell Let's Talk...Today Anyway

  Every year January 28 is Bell Let's Talk Day. It's a day set aside to raise awareness and money for mental health programs across the country. For every social media post with the hashtag, Bell Media will donate 5 cents. Simple, easy, and every year it raises millions of dollars. It's a wonderful initiative. The downside of it all? One day we are all talk and supportive...the days and weeks that follow? Not so much.

  We keep hearing the word "stigma" and how we need to remove it from our vocabulary and way of thinking permanently. So why do we lower our voice when we talk about a friend or family member who is depressed? Or an aunt who is bipolar? If mental health is no different than kidney stones or diabetes why the secrecy? Embarrassment...that's what. 

   Yesterday we were told that kids would be heading back to school while we are still in lockdown. I was told that they should not be going and when I said that of all the days to be dismissing mental health's importance I was told that at least they would not be dead from COVID. Okay, that's a point but if a teenager suffers from depression or anxiety it could last their entire lives!! Would any parent want to condemn their child to a life filled with those two diseases? I don't think so. But we make tough decisions every day as parents and we need to look at the whole picture and our kids mental health has to be part of the equation.

   So how do we change the way people talk and look at mental health issues? I used to think if you or someone you knew suffered from it then it would be easier to get people to open up about it. But the stats say 1 in 5 Canadians suffer from some form of issue. That means we ALL have a friend or family member already. And that didn't change anything. Then I thought well once you go to a funeral of someone who just couldn't go on because of their suffering that would immediately change your way of thinking. Yet sadly I can think of at least 4 people in my family and nothing changed for the majority of those left behind. I was wrong again.

  If death and suffering haven't turned the whispers into screams then honestly I don't know what will. It makes me sad knowing so many people are tortured and they cannot tell their loved ones about it. I always come back to something my mother-in-law said close to 25 years ago. "If my child had cancer or diabetes people would be offering support but because he is mentally ill no one will look at me or talk to me about it." Truer words were never said back then, or unfortunately, now.

  Keep talking. Always. And if no one listens talk to me...I will. That's a promise!

  Ang

The Calm After The Storm

  I woke up this morning feeling I had lost 10 lbs and 20 points off my blood pressure. My coffee tastes better and my house looks cleaner. There is a bounce in my step and even my hair seems shinier. I don't need to explain why. The world is feeling the same way!

  Since we are still in lockdown, will it ever end, my day is pretty uneventful. More Christmas decorations going into the storage room. Another load in the dishwasher. Some time on the treadmill. Checking Twitter between each task. An average day just with a bit more hope injected into it.

  I know there are many people in the US who are not as happy as many non-citizens about the new Pres but in the words of Mick Jagger...you can't always get what you want. Even if you were a Trump supporter on policy, the daily chaos must have tired you out like it did everyone else. A little peace and serenity won't hurt you.

  So today...just 24 hours...let the world breathe, relax, enjoy the calmness. Tomorrow may be another story.

  Ang

  

Thirty Day Recap

  It has been exactly one month since I sat down to write. In that month I have wanted to talk about so many things but sometimes the words do not fall onto the paper like I would want so I leave them there til I can make them into the thoughts I want to express. While I am waiting for that miracle to happen let me skim over the last 30 days of my life for ya.

  The biggest & best news of the season is Trump is gone. Not out with a whimper but out with a bang. It's official in the courts, in the congress, in the senate...everywhere but in Trump's head. True to form, he is still rilling up his supporters, of which there are many. It has cost him another impeachment which honestly I'm Canadian and don't really understand the harm of it because the first one did absolutely nothing except make him more popular. In 5 days the orange-faced jackass will slither off to Florida to continue on his "I was robbed" tour from the comforts of his golden retreat. On behalf of the world...good riddance!

  Vaccines are rolling out and into the arms of Canadians. Not at the speed we would all like but progress is being made. Many healthcare workers and LTC residents have gotten one, if not two, doses. We just need to keep our shirt sleeves rolled and soon we will be seeing a return to the normal lives we didn't know we enjoyed so much. Public Health across the country will get a standing ovation when we are all vaccinated...not to mention a long rest! 

  The holidays were a modified success. Meaning they were quiet with only us but we kept as many traditions as we could. The kids got more presents than they ever have since we are not vacation bound in the spring. I'm forever thankful for online shopping or no one would have received anything! I have planned our 2021 Christmas holidays and let me assure you it looks nothing like this past one! Except the people of course.

  School is back on-line after the holiday season where apparently not everyone stayed home and away from others. It's hard to watch my kids be isolated again. I know it's difficult for them to put into words just how tired and frustrated they are with the entire situation. We stay positive for them and try to make them laugh daily. Though my oldest talking about what home he is putting us in is getting a little worrisome. 

  Babies have been born and friends have mourned the loss of loved ones. We laughed. We cried. We screamed. I bought a fire pit and we watched the flames until we became too cold. I cooked. I cleaned. I cursed the ever-growing laundry pile. We watched too much tv and finally finished Poldark though it's taken so long I forgot how it all started. Harry Potter trivia kicked our butts but my kids know way, way, way too much about The Office.

  That is the past month in a nutshell. We survived and with the new extended lockdown, we will continue to do so. There is light at the end of our tunnel. Focus on that.

   "It will be all right in the end. If it's not all right it's not the end."

  Ang

  

Back Where I Belong!

   I'm back!! I tried my own website but between the setup and maintenance, I thought I was missing the point. I spent so much time fixing pictures and redoing layouts that I lost the joy of writing. It was becoming...work! And that was not the point of this blog. If it wasn't fun and/or therapeutic then what was the point? This format works well for me and with these new fonts, which I know some of you will hate, and will tell me so in the comments section, I'm ready to go. Let's begin...

  Vaccines are now being administered in Canada!!! COVID 19 vaccines are already in the arms of some healthcare workers across the country. This makes me ridiculously happy. For 274 days my family has been going about our business with masks, Lysol, and six feet between us and our friends. We couldn't see our family as we couldn't even get to other provinces. All of which we understood because this was an unprecedented pandemic. Now that we can see a light at the end of the tunnel we are ecstatic that we will be able to see our family & friends again soon.

  See even though we couldn't go to the movies or out to dinner that's not what we missed. It was the company of our friends and family that we missed. I want to hug Gosia and laugh over foolish things. Sit on Janet's cottage deck and relax as you only can with people you've known forever. I need to hug baby Nora and call Heather Grandma while we fight over who's going to hold her. 

  Mostly I want to be able to tell my kids they can go see their grandparents this summer. That they can talk to Grandma about school and tease Grandad about his hair. I want to see my Mom and brothers & sisters. We want to drive "down the shore" and see Aunt Charlotte and stop to see if Charlie has any spare lobster. I'm waiting to play cards with Berkie for a toonie which he always wins...cause I let him. The things that we truly missed if we are honest. Let that be the lesson we learn from this shit-show of a year.

  However...as per usual some of you who were complaining for months about not being able to see anyone, and telling anyone who would listen that the government was doing a bad job are now bitching about the vaccine and who gets it when. Let me give you some unsolicited advice. STOP IT. NOW! We all know it will take time for this miracle drug to bring us back to some level of normalcy. Trust me we do. But some of us need that hope to keep our kids and elderly parents in a good place. You repeatedly reminding us otherwise helps no one. Once I see or hear the word "but" I could strangle some of you.

  We will get thru this last stage of the pandemic. Most of us will get the vaccine and make it safe for all of us to spend time with those we love. It will happen and soon. I promise.

  Ang

  

I've Moved

 Good morning everyone! Hope you are all healthy and happy on this August day. Ugh, it's too early for that much sugar. 

  A few weeks ago I decided to finally get my website up and running. It's always been the goal but I never seemed to get to it. Now I have and I love it! It's a work in progress and needs some tweaking but so far so good.

  Now it's time for you to make the switch. I will slowly be moving all the posts from here to the website and all new entries will only be there. It will be easier to have everything in one place.

  You can subscribe so you don't miss any new "rants" and still leave comments. Not much has changed except where your browser sends you. 

  Hope to see you at www.thekernicklife.ca soon!

  Ang

What About The Kids?

  If you have children chances are you are as worried about what September will look like for schooling as I am. It's a short 7 weeks til the 2020/21 school year begins and we are still floating in the wind waiting for details. There is a fluid plan that in my oh so humble opinion will be a disaster but the fact that there is some sort of plan is encouraging. For a while there it wasn't looking too promising. 

  Hubby and I had pretty much decided not to send the boys back in the fall if a vaccine was not available. That seems to be a given now. But our decision has changed and we are now in a "wait and see" frame of mind. What changed our minds you ask well it's simple...we stopped, took a breath, and looked at the big picture. 

  Every day I listen to folks talk about stopping the spread. And I 100% agree. We need to keep ourselves, our children, and others safe from this virus. But our overall health includes our mental health and that is where a huge difference comes into play between adults and kids. 

  Adults can express their anxiety and fears in ways that teenagers do not have the skills to. If we have issues can you imagine theirs? Add hormones, school, peer pressure, social media, did I mention hormones, into the mix and you have a perfect storm brewing. One that some kids cannot steer out of. That is something we need to take into account and watch out for. And it's just as important as their physical well being. During this pandemic maybe even more.

  Even now in 2020, we talk about mental health in whispers. People feel pity for the breakdowns of Brittany Spears and Dave Chappelle. Others like Catherine Zeta-Jones are heralded as brave for talking about her bipolar disease. Would she be "brave" if she talked about her diabetes? Or her Crohns? No, and that's the problem. One that if we do not get past will end up perpetuating the stigma of mental health diseases forever.

  Back to the kids...we must look at the big picture. Will they be wearing masks? Will there still be an average of 28 kids in the class? What about lunch? What about the bathrooms? How do we get them there? All good questions and all need to be answered. Then parents need to ask "How will my child cope with being isolated again?" That last one needs to be answered honestly. Even if we don't like the answer. 

  Know your kid. Understand their weaknesses and their strengths. Maybe going into the classroom is worth the risk. Only you as a parent can decide. Just don't judge others who come to a different decision. 

  I'll let you know what we decide...much, much closer to September!

  Ang

Are We Too Paranoid?

  I'm sitting here during day 98 of my family's hibernation within these four walls wondering when this will end. Things are slowly returning to the status quo. Shops, daycares, and restaurants are inching towards normalcy. There is a "plan" for back to school in September...okay here we have three so who knows what will happen come the fall. So why are some people still so paranoid? And should they be?

  Now I'm not talking about the healthy paranoia. Those folks with lung issues and heart disease who are the highest of the highest at-risk get a pass to be as frightened and careful as is humanly possible. Cancer patients, immune-compromised folks are in that category too. Free passes all around. You know the people I mean. We all worry about them and do everything in our power to protect them from the virus. And we will continue to do so for many months to come.

  But there is a group of people who still have not left their homes. Those who are still relying on family and friends to get their groceries and medications. Who won't book a haircut or a doctor's appointment. Some won't even allow visitors on the patio or go grab a coffee from the drive-thru. Are they taking things too far? In my oh so humble opinion, they are.

  Taking baby steps back out into the world is necessary for all of us. If you live in an area where the numbers are low or almost nonexistent, as they are here in Ottawa and almost everywhere in Canada, it's time. And those of us enabling you to feed your fears, we need to stop too. The risk is minimal and as long as you wear a mask and wash your hands you will be fine.

  Don't take that last statement as cavalier. It wasn't meant that way. All any of us can do is just that. Wash our hands and wear a mask. But while most of us have gone back out into the world some of you are letting your fear keep you from participating. That is not healthy. In fact, that might be even worse than the virus for many of you. Letting fear take over parts of our lives can spread like wildfire and soon we cannot overcome any fear. That is no way to live...even in a pandemic.

  Every day in Canada our numbers are getting better. We've listened to what  Dr. Tam and provincial health experts have told us to do. Late winter and spring were spent without outside human contact. Zoom became our go-to word. But now it's time to leave our homes, create our bubbles, and start establishing our new normal. All of us.

  Don't let fear and paranoia control your life. Wash your hands. Wear your mask. Be smart and you will be safe.

  Ang