No matter what year it is or how far equality has come women still do more than men when it comes to children and home. Yeah yeah yeah there are exceptions we all know that. But I would bet my life that the ratio is nowhere close to 50/50 or even 75/25. I would probably go so far as to say 90/10. Or less.
In a family with children, the workload isn't even. Not even when both parents work outside the home. Women are much more likely to get up during the night with sick kids and nightmares. Breakfast, school lunches both tend to fall in mom's lap too. As does making sure everyone gets to the bus or daycare on time. All that while still getting ourselves ready to hit the pavement seconds after the kiddies are where they are supposed to be. Moms are multi-tasking geniuses.
Now five o'clock rolls around and we are on our way home. We stop at the grocery, pick up the dry cleaning, take money out of the bank and a host of about fifty other things during the course of a week. Once we kick off our shoes and let's be honest, take off our bras, dinner prep begins and homework gets started. We solve math problems while throwing the chicken in the oven and fold laundry while quizzing for that spelling test.
Once dinner is done chances are we are heading out the door to some activity or another. Some nights with one but normally with all. We haul soccer cleats and ballet slippers out of our purses and we always have a water bottle on the ready. There is a snack for the drive between places and while waiting for pickups. We do our banking and check emails while leaning against a wall as we pretend to watch every second of our children's progress.
By the time eight rolls around we are exhausted but we still do baths, recheck homework, and read books. We pick up clothes, straighten desks and remake beds. After many kisses good night we bring a glass of water, tuck the blankets in for the twentieth time and check for monsters under the bed. After all that we sing the alphabet song while teeth are brushed and braces cleaned and then we fix those covers just one more time.
Now we load dishwashers and throw in another load of laundry. Counters get cleaned and the fridge gets checked for milk and lunch foods for the morning. Dogs are walked and plants watered before we crawl into our own beds. If we are lucky we can stay awake long enough to catch up on the news or an episode on Netflix. Otherwise, we are asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow because that alarm is set pretty darn early to do the same things all over again.
Let me say this again...not every family works this way. Maybe yours doesn't. Or if you really thought about it, if you have time to do nothing and just think, maybe this is your life you just don't want to admit it. Most of us can't or won't admit the fact that our spouse doesn't carry their weight when it comes to chores and kids. Saying your hubby parents instead of babysitting is not the same as being an equal partner in life. But do we really want them to be?
Do they load the dishwasher properly? Are a bowl of cereal and a frozen waffle a healthy dinner for our kids? Did the towels get folded properly? Is a picture book just as good before bed as Dr. Seuss? These are all things I have heard my friends complain about when it comes to their husbands sharing the workload. They want the help but they want it done their way. Is that our way of saying we just want to complain about needing help but not actually wanting it? Maybe.
Men's roles in the home and as parents have changed drastically since we were kids. While I doubt my Dad ever changed a diaper, most dads today are hands-on from day one. Fathers are participating in all aspects of their kid's lives. They just do it differently than we do and Moms don't like that. Not one little bit.
If you are one of the lucky ones who has an equal partner in all aspects of life count your blessings. If your spouse takes out the trash and cleans the toilets count your lucky stars. The rest of us will keep on counting...to a hundred before we speak.
Ang
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