It's the most wonderful time of the year...at least that's what the song wants you to believe. For me it is, with a healthy dose of stress and anxiety thrown in to make it less Hallmark movie-ish. But for many this time of year is dreaded. Feared even. Between social anxiety, too high expectations, and financial shortfalls, many families are worried about the next six weeks and beyond at an immeasurable level. I believe we can help those around us who are suffering without hurting their pride or depleting our own reserves. And perhaps helping ourselves in the process.
This time of year we all tend to have more visitors. Normally that translates to food and drinks. But does it have to? I do not need appetizers and wine at every friend's house. I may need a glass of water or a coffee, but I do want my pants to fit after New Year's and that will not happen if I eat and sip at every stop. If you want to offer me something, peel a few mandarin oranges. They are super cheap and delicious this time of year, and we could all use a bit more fruit in our diet. Put anything on a festive plate and voila you are entertaining.
One thing that would help everyone is not to be the hated "dropper-inner". Not everyone wants you to see the pile of laundry on the coffee table or the sink full of dishes. We are all still working on top of all the extras we have to do in December. Respect that. I always tell people I'm visiting them not checking out how clean their house is. But it's not about me, it's about them. Maybe they do care. Minimizing that helps no one. Call, or better yet, text first. Let your friends decide whether they want to open their home to you. To those I have done this to...please forgive me.
Alright let's talk presents. No adult, not one, needs anything. We might want a new sweater or a serving tray but we do not need one. Want and need are two very different things. As grown ass people, we can go buy what we need when we actually need it. Stop buying us "stuff". But if you do feel compelled, get a grocery gift card. Or one from a big box store that has everything. Movie tickets or restaurant vouchers. And to be brutally honest, you may think you know what we want, but you would be wrong. Chances are they are donating or regifting so save your money.
Kids are a totally different story. You should be focusing on them this time of year. Their gifts do not need to be expensive. Most will not remember next year what they got. But they will remember watching a Charlie Brown Christmas with you or the nights wrapped in blankets, driving around looking at holiday lights. You gift-wrapping a small toy in a box, within a box, within a box is the stuff of lifelong memories. Time. Your time. Your focus. That's what kids need. Being their "present" will make the season happier and less stressful...for the whole family.
Let's lower the bar this year. Say whatever I do is enough and mean it. No decorations? Ok. Stuffing out of a box? Delicious. Messy house, everyone is in pajamas? Perfect. None of it matters. Read that again. None of it matters. The only thing that matters is you and yours.
Ang
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