Great Expectations

  I've become a skeptic. I wish I wasn't but I am. Every day I hear people say things that aren't true then hear them defend their lies. I listen to people tell me they will do something. I'm not even disappointed anymore when they don't do what they promised. It is now expected. How sad is that?

  Politicians lie to us every single day. They give us "alternate facts" which are just lies wrapped up in pretty words. They repeat them over and over again as if by keeping to the script we will not question whether it is truth or fiction. And you know what? They are right! Most people don't question their statements or lose interest in it before learning the facts.

  Businesses consistently tell us what we want to hear then don't follow through. Delivery dates and times are rarely what they were supposed to be. Promised prices change without notice and with little or no explanation. The proverbial "fine print" is almost always the culprit. If you actually read that well you are a much better person than I am. Or anyone I know!

  Friends and family are not much better sometimes either. As if they should be excused more easily because of some shared DNA. When in fact we expect more from them because of those genes! While we expect more we also forgive more. Which explains why the cycle continues.

  Expecting people and companies to do what they say should not be difficult. But I no longer expect anything from anyone. 

  That makes me very sad. 

  Ang

A Country in Mourning

  Just as we are starting to come alive again after the bus tragedy involving the Humboldt Bronchos, Canada is once again shocked by another senseless tragedy. This time a rental truck jumped the curb on one of Toronto's busiest streets killing ten people and injuring at least fifteen more. We are shocked, saddened and grieving all over again.

  It's too early to know why this tragedy happened. We may never know. Or there may actually be no reason at all. But thanks to the Toronto police officer who single-handedly, and without incident, apprehended the suspect we have a chance of finding that out. His professionalism and calmness are a beacon of hope to those who distrust and criticize the police.

  For those ten people who died our hearts grieve along with your families. They are in our thoughts and as more information about the victims is released we make them part of our own family. Doing whatever we can to honor them in our own small ways. But know they will not be forgotten.

  A few weeks ago John and I rented a moving truck and were shocked and angered by the questions and redundancies of the staff. We were asked to provide a reference which seemed absurd considering they had our credit card and we had purchased the insurance. They told us it was common practice for every rental agency and without the reference, we would not get the keys. In hindsight, I guess it makes sense now.

  We cannot protect ourselves from all the dangers in this world. There is no way to know what someone else is planning or wanting to do. We must live each day to the fullest, enjoying every moment if possible. Forgive easily. Love unashamedly. Enjoy the time we are given.

  Ang

Being Royal

  It's a boy!! Congratulations Kate and William on the birth of your healthy baby. Three kids makes you officially outnumbered in your house. Good luck with that! Since the news and social media is flooded today with everything royal I think I'll jump on that bandwagon too.

  The world is fascinated with the British monarchy. Their every movement is watched and scrutinized. Whatever the children wear becomes the trend. Clothes worn by Kate sell out in seconds making instant successes of designers. Charities supported by the family get more donations and volunteers than others. They seem to be aware of their power and put it to good use.

  Over the weekend Queen Elizabeth turned 92. While her schedule has slowed down some she still has a daily routine that would exhaust the average 50-year-old. Her sense of duty is admirable and I for one wish I had her stamina.

  Harry is getting married in a few weeks and the world is raving about his bride to be. Most of her immediate family is not invited to the wedding. That's strange. Weddings are opportunities to mend fences and to reunite a family. Not taking that chance makes her look petty and mean. Whether the decision was hers or not. 

  They do make bad decisions and the world showcases them. Will and Harry, at 15 and 12, walking behind their mother's coffin through streets filled with mourners was one of the worst. They should have been allowed to grieve privately without prying eyes watching them. Yet the entire world saw them fight back tears and lay their mother to rest. It should have been a private moment like other children would have had. 

  No matter what we think about the relevancy of the monarchy we must all admit to a bit of fascination with them. Whether it's the pomp and ceremony of daily life or the excitement of a new baby or a wedding, we all want a small glimpse into a life so far removed from our own. There's nothing wrong with that.

  Let's hope this new baby has a life filled with good health, happiness and two parents who love him unconditionally. Just as we do for all babies.

  Ang
  

  

  

Goodbye For Now Rick Mercer

  As you read this imagine I am walking down a graffiti-filled alley....if you are Canadian that will make perfect sense.

  Canadians come together to celebrate, grieve and complain. We become one big small town in the face of disaster. We donate our time, our money and our homes even to help those worse off than us. It's what defines us. It's who we are.

  For the past fifteen years, we have come together on most Tuesday nights to watch one of our own show us our country in a different and unique way. We have seen ourselves from coast to coast to coast through your eyes. And we liked what we saw. Loved it in fact.

  We laughed at you as a rodeo "entertainer" and holding bear cubs. Sailing in the Bay of Quinte or doing moose calls in the north. Each week we learned something different about this great country of ours with humor and wit thrown in for good measure.

  You showed us politicians as real people. Celebrities as well. We felt bad for Jann Arden and the things you convinced her to do. Yet we waited for her to agree to come again. And yes Bob Rae's naked bum is embedded in the minds of too many of us.

  But what we all waited for was "The Rant". A few minutes where you spoke for most of us. Topics that affected us all in some way. Given from your own unique perspective. Whether we agreed with you or not, we listened and learned. You got to do what we all want to do...have a platform to get our message out there. Even if it was just about bad drivers.

  Thank you Mr. Rick Mercer. For reminding us how beautiful we are as a country and a people. For making us laugh every week for fifteen long years. For keeping us on our toes and for making us think. We cannot wait to see what comes next.

  Til next time....  

  Ang

Little Sponges

  Many parents put their kids into hockey and soccer. They take music lessons, get tutoring and learn to swim. We take them to plays and sporting events. To restaurants and on vacations. All the while they are watching and absorbing like the little sponges they are. Yet we forget they learn the most by watching us. 

  Kids see us. At our best and worst. They see us screaming at the refs and coaches. Calling them names. Questioning their intelligence. Then we tell them to be respectful of the refs and their coaches. Why would they listen? They've seen us do the opposite.

  We send our kids to school five days a week and tell them to listen to their teachers. Yet when they fail a test or a semester we put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the teacher. Why is that?

  When kids bully or are mean to others they have seen that behavior before. Did it come from us? Do we bully store clerks and treat strangers rudely? Have they learned through our example? Think about that for a minute.

  Bad traits are just as easily passed on to our children as good ones. Maybe even easier. Chances are we aren't aware when we are doing them. Or that the kids see. When you talk down to your server your kids think it's ok for them to do it too. But if you treat that same server with dignity and respect a different message is received. 

  We all want the best for our kids. All of us. Remember that the next time you use words like "retard" or "stupid". Your kids are listening. Remembering.  And learning.

  Ang



  

Bronco's

  Canada is 2.8 million square miles. Over 36 million people live here. Yet for the last several days we are a small community where everyone knows everyone else. It's amazing how tragedy can make that happen.

  The details are horrific. The loss of life is unfathomable. The devastation of twenty-eight families unthinkable. And yet the world goes on. 

  While these families struggle with their new realities, six other families are doing the same but with new hope and a sense of joy. See Logan Boulet was an organ donor. Doctors were able to harvest six organs and each one gave new life to a stranger. What an amazing legacy for a twenty-one year old! We should all aspire to one so great.

  Fifteen young lives lost. Hopes and dreams gone forever. May they rest in peace. And may their families find whatever helps them to make it through.

  Ang

Being an Adult...It's Hard Work

  One of the hardest parts of being an adult is actually having an adult response to a situation. You know....where you stay polite and respectful when faced with anger and resentment. Even while being attacked for your beliefs and opinions. But again I must ask the question. Why does it always have to be me???

  When do I get to behave rudely? Mock people for their opinions? Attempt to embarrass others in front of their peers? Publicly shame someone for disagreeing with me? 

  Oh wait I don't. Because I'm an adult who understands that people think differently and have opinions that don't always agree with mine. As Michelle Obama says "When they go low, we go high". That's what adults do. Real adults. 

  Social media, emails and on-line forums give people who have not quite learned how to be adults yet, an inflated confidence in their behavior. They have a fearlessness that they do not possess when standing face to face. Keyboard courage I believe it's called. 

  When you belittle, mock, shame, bully or be rude to others on-line remember something. This behavior says more about you than it does the person you believe you are superior to. It shows your pettiness, your shame and your lack of self confidence. No matter how much you believe otherwise.

  When you put yourself out there in the cyber world, you open yourself up to all kinds. Those who agree with you and those who don't. We must also be aware that there will be more "con" than "pro" in most cases, be prepared for it and sympathize with those who need to feel superior to a total stranger.

  One final thought. Do not take an adult response, saying nothing and behaving with quiet dignity, as a sign you have succeeded in proving how right you are. It is quite the opposite. You have been shown how to be an adult. 

  Learn from it.

  Ang

Send In The Troops

  As the wife of a retired air force member, my outlook on the use of troops is different than most. That's why when I hear about Canada sending troops anywhere I get a little apprehensive. The average Canadian has no idea what those actions mean...for everyone involved. I want to tell you some of what it's like from a different view.

  Most adults have a will. You probably made one when you had children or started an RRSP. Chances are it has never been changed, looked at, or thought about since then. Military families see it, discuss it and in some cases, change it, every deployment. No one wants to talk about this subject once let alone every few years. But troops need to be prepared and that means making sure their affairs are in order.  Just in case.

  How do you explain to your kids that Mom or Dad will be gone for a long time. They can understand that other children need our help to be safe and what a wonderful thing it is that we are able to do that. But they don't care about that when Dad doesn't tuck them in at night or Mom can only Skype them once a week. No explanation can make a parent missing a first goal or an A okay. They are kids and are supposed to be selfish. 

  The remaining spouse takes on every job. And there are lots of them. Banker, maintenance worker, car mechanic, groundskeeper. The list is long. If the roof leaks that's your responsibility. The house alarm goes off at noon while you are at work, again that's you. Two feet of snow needs to be shoveled? Garbage put out. Rent cheque bounces. You, you and you. While you might get some help from family and friends, you never want to bother them unless it's an absolute emergency.

  You, the family, are scared. Your daily life is the same but you have no idea what life is like for them. Are bombs going off around them? Are they going on patrols where land mines have been planted? Is someone going to come too close to the ship and throw a bomb at the hull? Is a rocket launcher going to take down a plane? All thoughts go through your head. Whether you know they are feasible or not. It's human nature.

  Lack of sleep, added stress and relationship issues are all too common. Living alone can be hard for many people and when you are single parenting that is made even worse. No matter how strong a marriage or relationship is, six months or a year is a very long time to be apart. If there were cracks before deployment they could become sinkholes by the time they return. Sad but true.

  The next time you hear about Canada, or any government, deploying troops understand what this means for those folks and their families. It affects more people, in more ways, than you can imagine. 

  On a response note....if you have any intention of saying "they knew what they were signing up for" or "it's part of the job" or any of the cliches I have heard over the years....save it. I do not want to hear it. These brave women and men see and do things that no human beings should ever see or do. You trivializing it means you really don't deserve it or understand it.

  Ang
  

Money For Nothing

  Yesterday I lost a lot of money. A lot. I wasn't playing foolishly with my stocks. They are not risky per se. Yes all stocks carry some risk but these are fairly safe...til Donald Trump said he was going to start a trade war with China.

  Basic economics principals state that when world leaders speak, the stock market listens. Boy oh boy did it listen yesterday. If only as Canadians we weren't affected by the rantings of this man. But we all pay the price for his words. 

  Today the markets are taking another hit. Now that China has said they are going to impose tariffs on U.S. goods as well, here we go again. You cannot blame the Chinese government for hitting back. It was inevitable. And necessary. The world cannot let this tyrant get away with whatever random ideas pop into his head.

  This trade war is exactly what he spoke about during his campaign though. I'm not sure his base realized just what would happen to their nest egg if, or when, he did it. Well check it out today. See just how much damage was done. Do yourself a favor and sit down first.

  What scares me the most is this is just talk. Nothing has been implemented yet and already a panic set in. How will the markets react if he actually does it? And how will that change our retirement? Or yours?

  Already Canadians are dealing with increases in gas, hydro, groceries and other basic costs. We are all stretching our pennies to the limit. Making the tough decisions in daily life. Everyone hopes the golden years will be less financially stressful. A small light at the end of the tunnel for all of us.

  Hopefully my light bulb won't burn out!

  Ang

Leave Facebook? Never....

  Over the weekend someone asked me if I was considering closing my Facebook account over the recent privacy issues. My answer is without a doubt...NO. And I have made this decision with my eyes wide open. Truth be known I made this decision when I joined over ten years ago.

  If you shop on line, book vacations or check for flights information is being accumulated on you. Sign up for Air Miles, PC points or any store loyalty card...your preferences are stored and used to guide you towards your ideal purchases or promotions. It is to make your experience easier and faster. Geared towards your habits and spending trends.

  You may say you give out no information. But you do. Have you ever checked out IKEA? Looked for a sofa? We all have. Watch the next time you go to a news site. Watch how the ads on the side will show sales at that store or others who sell sofas. Big brother is watching you. All the time. Every tiny morsel gives them one more clue to who you are.

  This is part and parcel of modern technology. There are some things you can do to keep your footprint small but it's there. And it's large enough to know a lot about you. A person with even minor computer skills can find enough info on you to scare the pants off of you.

  When I first joined Facebook over ten years ago, I gave quite a bit of personal information to them. This was meant to make it easier for my friends to find me. But their friends could see my info too. And if they commented on my post their friends could see it too. The chain gets very long very fast. Which is one of the best, and worst, parts of social media. Being social has consequences.

  I was not surprised to hear an outside company was using personal information from people's home pages. In fact I expected it. I'm not sure how you couldn't. That doesn't make it okay though. Just not unexpected.

  Life is full of risk. Some folks are just realizing their information is at risk. Personally I've known it forever. You can find, and follow, my Facebook page...The Kernick Life and my Twitter account @thekernicklife1 . I'll give you all the info you will ever need.

  Ang