Nova Scotia Strong

  One week ago 22 innocent people lost their lives in a small rural area of Nova Scotia. It left the entire country reeling and in mourning. Each person has a story and I would not attempt to tell even one of them. But I want to talk about the community and the sadness we all have to overcome.

  Grief is a very personal and often private thing. There is no right or wrong way to do it. So don't tell them how to. They might not need to listen to testimonials or virtual concerts. They don't have to flood Facebook about the victims or join groups dedicated to hearing messages of condolences. Signs in windows and tartans are not necessary for some. It doesn't mean they aren't hurting. It just means they choose to experience it all in a different way. And you don't get to judge them for it.

  Like any tragedy, we need to process our feelings in order to move on. That takes on many forms. But the majority of people want to share theirs with family and friends. To have someone help carry even a small part of the load for a few brief moments. Somehow knowing someone is feeling your loss too helps us. If only fleetingly. But in this time of social distancing, we are denied even that small comfort. Instead, we are left on our own with no physical contact to help us heal. It is a double whammy for many.

  For some people, like myself, we get little or no comfort from strangers. Though the words are kind and the sentiments are genuine, it seems almost... intrusive. To me anyway. But online vigils and funerals are bringing comfort to many across the country. And while I cannot say for sure I would assume they are bringing some to the families of the victims.

  No matter how you grieve it takes time. More than we can comprehend for some. Whether you accept things and move on quickly or need extended time, it's on nobody's timetable but your own. Do not let people tell you how to do it. But the only caveat to that statement is if you are relying on alcohol or drugs to get thru the days. That isn't going to help you in the long term.

  One last thing...Nova Scotia is made up of people who have a unique ability to be there for each other. Even when they can't actually be there. That's where the hashtag Nova Scotia Strong came from. You are never alone in your grief. Remember that. 

  Ang

Nova Scotia Strong

  Unlike any other place in Canada, Nova Scotia gives me a sense of security. A feeling that I am safe and no harm will come to me. Yesterday that image was shattered. Not just for me but for the majority of its citizens. For some unknown reason, a man decided to take the lives of sixteen innocent people. 

  We may never know why. Police will investigate every possibility in the months to come. Whatever they find out will bring little or no comfort to the families but perhaps will give some sense of closure. I sincerely hope so.

  Life is fleeting. These tragedies show us just how much so. If there is anything to be learned from this it should be that. Hug your children. Call your family. Love them even from a distance.

  One of the victims of this tragedy was a police officer. She made a decision 23 years ago to become one of those rare heroes who are willing to sacrifice their own lives to protect the rest of us. Constable Heidi Stevenson we thank you for your sacrifice. There are no words to express how much we honor you and your memory. 

  Ang 

I Wish

  Can you imagine what life will be like when this pandemic is all over? I hope it doesn't go back to "normal" because that wasn't working for a lot of people. I've got my fingers crossed that we will shift to a new idea of normal and that the entire country remembers who kept us going through these unprecedented weeks and months.

  I hope people, including the government, will remember that they gave workers $2000 a month to survive. Many workers don't make that much working full time. Where did this dollar figure come from? If that is the minimum needed to get by in a month don't we owe it to those who are surviving on less to top them up to at least this amount? Those on social services and disability should get that too right? Grocery store clerks and personal care workers in nursing homes deserve that much too, wouldn't they? Seniors with only OAS and the Supplement don't come close to that number. What about them? See what I mean about normal not being that great?

  Doctors need help. We as a country need to recruit them in new and inventive ways. You want to go to university and become a doctor? Well sign this little contract a la Northern Exposure and your student loans are gone. Give us 10 or 15 years of treating locals and we will give you a house to live in and a car to drive. Hell we will throw in a yearly vacation if that's what it takes. But we need more doctors...right now.

  Never again can we rely on other countries when it comes to our healthcare supplies. We should all be proud of how so many Canadian companies stepped up and changed their manufacturing to gowns, masks, and shields. Most without being asked to do so. Maybe every so often they need to do this and replenish our stockpiles so we never get caught with our pants down again. At the mercy of other countries who are going through the exact same shortages as we are. No nurse in an ER cares that the face shield protecting her says Bauer across the top. Let's look at being self-sufficient in this one important area. 

  Let's stop calling some workers "unskilled" and agree that they deserve respect and a living wage. We need to stop looking down our noses at those who are front line workers without any of the benefits the name usually brings. We've all realized how totally screwed we would be without grocery clerks, delivery drivers, garbage collectors, etc. They are doing a job that gets no respect but keeps us all going. 

  One thing we've all seen first hand is how we are too busy most of the time. Yes our kids are nightmares most of the time, but when we all play a board game or have pizza on the floor before watching a movie, you can see they are making memories. Many of us are calling elderly parents and relatives daily to make sure they are okay. The conversation naturally changes to "Do you remember when..." or "Whatever happened to..." and we take a trip down memory lane. We have time for the people we cherish and miss. That would be a fantastic thing to have as "normal".

  I wish many changes after all this is said and done. That we finally understand what is important in life and stop wasting our valuable time on those that don't.  We owe it to the 147,512 people worldwide who have died so far and sadly to those yet to come.

  Stay safe. Stay home.

  Ang

A Living Wage

  Not much in life leaves me speechless. I'm a little jaded after a life seeing what humans are capable of doing to each other. Yet yesterday I heard in plain and simple words something that stopped me in my tracks. 

  "Some people are not meant to have a living wage". Read that again. "Some people are not meant to have a living wage". My first question to that is of course who gets to decide who those people are? Do I get a say? What're the criteria? Who makes that criteria? And most importantly who the hell would say that????

  I have heard various versions of that statement over the years. Coded but there. Usually, it is hidden in remarks about education or abilities. Those little comments we've all heard. People wanting to say it but knowing what kind of reaction they will receive if they do. So they hide it. Phrase it differently. The underlying truth is still there. They know it and you do too.

  Once someone I know was told, and I'm paraphrasing here, "Imagine what your life could have been like had you gone to university". For the record, the speaker knew the kind of life my friend had led. Filled with charity work, helping others, kindness, standing up for the underprivileged and too many other things for me to list. Yet the fact that they didn't have a degree or an important career, in their eyes, was a life wasted. 

  Years ago I worked with a lady named Joyce. She had worked her entire adult life serving food in a bar. She got a raise only when the minimum wage increased every few years. Unlike many people who go off to high paying jobs every morning, "real" careers, Joyce was happy. She loved her job. And the regulars loved her. They didn't care if she was slow or got their order wrong. She always had a smile and remembered names, birthdays and kids. When someone died, got married or had a baby she was included. She was a small ray of sunshine to those who came into the bar. Not a bad way to spend your life is it?

  I was informed I was wrong when I said lots of people who work at a gas station or a fast-food restaurant or a grocery store are the main earners in many families. No way could that be the way they pay their rent I was told. No that's how they pay their mortgage and put braces on their kids' teeth and food on the table was my reply. Do people honestly believe only high-income earners have anything? Seriously? I know lots of families who survive and thrive, on less than the average. It's done all the time.

  Like almost every crisis we have lived through, the healthcare providers shine. They are always there when we need them and en masse, we herald their unselfish and unwavering dedication to our health. Even at the risk of their own. But this time it truly is those who "don't deserve to make a living wage" that are stealing the spotlight. Just a few short months ago people were complaining about the minimum wage hike and how it would ruin the economy and raise prices. More than one of you said that an entire group of workers doesn't deserve more money in their paycheque. Do you feel bad now? You should.

  How many of us have waited in line to get into a grocery only to see the cashier standing behind plexiglass exhausted? Going to work every day so we can bear our distancing with a full stomach and snacks on hand. Yet six months ago we looked down upon them and wondered why they weren't in real professions. 

  Take some of this downtime to reflect on your bigotries. Reevaluate how you measure a person's worth. Or even if you have the right to do so. Look at who is keeping this country going and treat them with the dignity and respect you should have always been showing. 

  To the woman who said some people don't deserve a living wage...you are a disgrace to the human race. Knowing nothing about you I judge you as lacking in empathy, compassion, and kindness. Doesn't feel great, does it?

  Ang

Happy Easter...From A Distance

  One thing about being a military family, you get used to spending holidays away from your extended family. I can count on one hand the amount of Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving dinners we have spent with blood relations. Our table was normally filled with friends or a few times just the two of us. We survived and during this bizarre time of COVID-19 and distancing so will you!

  First off, most of it is your mindset. If you always go to the "my family is not here"  guess what? You will be miserable. There is this new thing called a telephone or even newer the internet where you can actually speak and see your extended brood. Get one of your kids or grandkids to open a Zoom account and you can add all the family. Who says you have to be in the same room to have dinner together? Bonus... fewer dishes to wash.

  If at all possible get outside. Call your neighbor and sit on your steps and chat across the driveway. Wave to the folks walking by. Chances are they will stop and chat for a few minutes. Or you be the walker and stopper. If someone is raking the leaves or playing with their kids ask how they are or how school is going. Who knows you might make some new friends in your community.

  Make dinner. Maybe not a 20lb turkey or a too big for the roaster ham but smaller versions. Try to recreate Grandmas butterscotch pie. You will have a funny story to tell when you speak to her. Or that "special" punch that seems to disappear quickly. One item that brings a smile to your face. Even for a short period of time.

  Look it's not ideal.  We can all agree on that. But since we are in unprecedented times we make the best of it. Figure out some way to get thru it and if you need some help here's something to think about...staying home today might mean your loved ones are around for the next holiday meal. Or even you.

  Stay home. Stay healthy. Happy Easter!

  Ang
  

Social Distancing Lessons

  I'm always complaining to myself that I don't have enough time to write. Now I have nothing but time and I'm still not. What's up with that? Tonight I thought I would share a few things I've learned in the 14 days of self-isolation and the 9 days that have followed it.

  My kids cannot, under any circumstance, use the same glass twice. Not even for water. Here's what happens...take clean glass from cupboard, fill glass with water, drink one-fourth of it, put glass on just cleaned off counter, leave room, return three minutes later, take clean glass from cupboard, fill glass...are you seeing the pattern? Now imagine this is repeated 8-10 times per day. Times two! It's no wonder the dishwasher runs almost nonstop.

  Another startling discovery we've made is that our kids only want to talk to us when we are trying to watch something important. Want to know what time the daily PM update is on? We don't need a watch we'll know cause that's when we hear the pitter-patter of big feet coming down the stairs ready to engage in conversation. It never fails and we mute or pause the tv to actually engage in the conversation. We feel blessed that our kids want to speak with us so we pretend we don't need to know the latest updates. But at 11:15 every single day?  Seems a little fishy to me.

  We basically wear three outfits. I've seen several combinations of clothes for three weeks now. But it's always one of three tops with jeans or sweats. So why do we have full closets? If we aren't going to wear them why have them? Maybe minimalism is best. Worth a shot anyway. I wonder if anyone would notice.

  Probably the biggest life lesson we've learned, and the most important by far, is that we can handle anything. We drive each other nuts. Some days we laugh a lot and other days we switch to yelling. But we show up every single day ready to protect each other and make sure we are all okay. Even when we don't know what okay really is. We are small in number but we are strong, resilient and capable of accomplishing anything we put our minds to.

  That's a few of our lessons. I hope you have learned some while spending way too much time with your loved ones. Feel free to share. 

  Ang