Nova Scotia Strong

  One week ago 22 innocent people lost their lives in a small rural area of Nova Scotia. It left the entire country reeling and in mourning. Each person has a story and I would not attempt to tell even one of them. But I want to talk about the community and the sadness we all have to overcome.

  Grief is a very personal and often private thing. There is no right or wrong way to do it. So don't tell them how to. They might not need to listen to testimonials or virtual concerts. They don't have to flood Facebook about the victims or join groups dedicated to hearing messages of condolences. Signs in windows and tartans are not necessary for some. It doesn't mean they aren't hurting. It just means they choose to experience it all in a different way. And you don't get to judge them for it.

  Like any tragedy, we need to process our feelings in order to move on. That takes on many forms. But the majority of people want to share theirs with family and friends. To have someone help carry even a small part of the load for a few brief moments. Somehow knowing someone is feeling your loss too helps us. If only fleetingly. But in this time of social distancing, we are denied even that small comfort. Instead, we are left on our own with no physical contact to help us heal. It is a double whammy for many.

  For some people, like myself, we get little or no comfort from strangers. Though the words are kind and the sentiments are genuine, it seems almost... intrusive. To me anyway. But online vigils and funerals are bringing comfort to many across the country. And while I cannot say for sure I would assume they are bringing some to the families of the victims.

  No matter how you grieve it takes time. More than we can comprehend for some. Whether you accept things and move on quickly or need extended time, it's on nobody's timetable but your own. Do not let people tell you how to do it. But the only caveat to that statement is if you are relying on alcohol or drugs to get thru the days. That isn't going to help you in the long term.

  One last thing...Nova Scotia is made up of people who have a unique ability to be there for each other. Even when they can't actually be there. That's where the hashtag Nova Scotia Strong came from. You are never alone in your grief. Remember that. 

  Ang