The Blacklist - Thanks - Sort Of

 Anyone who knows me even remotely well can tell you I love James Spader. Alan Shore was one of the greatest characters ever written. Honestly, I never thought I could ever see Mr. Spader act in anything and not see him as Denny Crane's husband on Boston Legal. Ten years ago I was proven wrong. The Blacklist hit the small screen and I was once again in awe of the acting genius that is James Spader. Raymond Reddington was an even better character. Quirks and all!

  The pilot episode started out with Red walking into the FBI building and being surrounded by security, guns drawn, alarms sounding. He was, of course, number one on the FBI Most Wanted list. From that opening scene, we are whisked away on the adventure of a lifetime. I've laughed, cried, covered my ears, and shielded my eyes. Some characters I loved. Others I hated. But each week we met a new "blacklister" and watched Reddington and his FBI task force apprehend the criminals law enforcement didn't know about.

  Jon Bokencamp, the show's creator, is brilliant. He made the most horrible people not just likable but lovable! Teddy, a torturer who uses animals to get information and who tried to get his son into the family business, made criminals talk using violent yet inventive methods. Glen, aka Jellybean, worked at the DMV and could track anyone no matter how hidden they were. He was crude and rude not to mention a fabulous bowler. When Clark Middleton died, the actor who played Glen, the writers penned an episode about his funeral that included Huey Lewis and the Statue of Liberty and introduced us to his mom Paula who was a real hoot!

  After 10 years of watching and rewatching, trying to figure out answers to long-held questions, and wondering who exactly Raymond Reddington was, last night was the series finale. In two hours they were going to answer all my questions and explain what I couldn't figure out. I was excited. I was sad. I was on the edge of my seat. I was ready! 

  What I ended up being, and it hurts me very much to say this, was disappointed. Yup I said it. It wasn't the ending this spectacular show deserved. It certainly wasn't the ending the fans deserved. When the two hours were over I was left with the same questions I've had since the beginning. If anything I had more things I needed answers to. 

  I don't know how the show should have ended. Red alive or dead. The task force in jail or off to find new adventures. But I do know last night's ending was not it. Right up until the final scenes I was on board. I even knew Raymond would die. Maybe an hour three was needed. To tie things up. The reading of his will perhaps or a letter left for Harold Cooper. Perhaps Dembe, played by the fabulous Hisham Tawfiq, could have spilled the secrets he knew. Something. Anything.

  This morning I checked other fan reactions on social media. Apparently I was not alone. I would say for every "great ending" comment I saw there were twenty "disappointing" ones. Blacklist fan groups are hating on it in record numbers. Everyone seems to be thinking the same way...good for Raymond going out on his own terms but bad for those of us wanting answers. Many use the words cheated and robbed. 

  Like many shows before it, Lost springs to mind, we are left without answers to the questions we carried with us from season to season. After ten years to still be in the dark about the show's core "secrets" is one thing but to end it without answering even one of them is wrong. It's disrespectful. And it's what we got.

  Ang 

  

  

No Thank You

 Recently someone asked me if I wanted to do something with them to which I replied "no but thanks for the offer". That should have been the end of it. You asked. I answered. But it wasn't. And that bothered me.

  Why do people feel they deserve an explanation when told no? Isn't no enough? Ummm yeah, it most certainly is. My response would have been different if one of my nearest and dearest had asked. I would have given a reason as I declined though none was necessary. They would understand without being told. Yet somehow someone who I spend very little time with thought it was her right to demand an explanation. Then ask yet again for one when none was provided.

  Would the truthful answer have stopped her questions? I don't think so. The reason I said no was that I just didn't want to. Period. But I have my doubts that to this particular person that would not be a valid reason to refuse. She would be wrong.

  We all wake up some days and want to do nothing. Watch a little tv or read a book. Stay in pj's and bake cookies or eat ice cream out of the container. And that's perfectly okay. Sometimes we change our minds and cancel plans and that's okay too! Our friends will know if we are just having a moment or if we are going into a slide and in need of some help. Then "no thank you" will not be enough for them and they will figure out a way to help or get you to people who can help. Those are your close friends.

  From birth we are hard-wired to ask for explanations. Remember asking your parents if you could go somewhere and they said no? I'd bet money your next question was "why not". I'd bet my life savings that they replied "because I said so". No further conversation was going to happen. You asked. They answered. End of discussion. 

  Does that mean we don't owe an explanation to children but we do to adults? I'd say the total opposite. Explain to your kids the reasons why. Tell them your job is to keep them safe and what they want to do might not be safe. Or that you did that as a child and the results were disastrous. They might learn from your mistakes or at least not fight back quite as hard because you didn't dismiss them. 

  Bottom line...if an explanation isn't offered, don't ask for one. Don't think you know better or that if you cajole me enough I'll change my mind. I won't. What I will do is resent you for not respecting me or my wishes. 

  Ang 

  

Happy Canada Day!!

  Happy Canada Day!!! July 1 is our day to celebrate being the greatest country on earth. We watch concerts, see fireworks, paint our faces, and put flags all over ourselves. It's the one day a year we proudly display our patriotism. For reasons unknown to me, tomorrow those displays are gone and we are back to our quiet self-deprecating ways. So let's enjoy these 24 hours while we can!

  Canada has made the world a better place in so many ways. Think about Frederick Banting who at 32 was the youngest person ever to receive the Noble Peace Prize for medicine. As amazing as that is, his work in the discovery of insulin changed the lives of tens of millions of people worldwide. Pretty impressive.

  Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. James Naismith gave the world basketball. What would the weekend be without Saturday Night Live, the brainchild of Lorne Michaels? Terry Fox and Rick Hansen showed us all that physical challenges could be overcome with mental fortitude and kindness. And how many of you chose Celine Dion singing My Heart Will Go On as your wedding song? You're welcome!

  Margaret Atwood is one of the greatest authors of this century. She and Lucy Maud Montgomery are heralded throughout the world. Ten years before Rosa Parks started a chain of events in the US, Viola Desmond refused to move out of the "white's only" section of a movie theater. And we claim both Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Ryan Reynolds as our own. 

  We lead the world in freshwater and our military is praised for its many peacekeeping missions.  Our politeness and willingness to help others is legendary. Wayne Gretzky, Sidney Crosby, Brooke Henderson and Steve Nash all call Canada home. We have the highest tides in the world, the best view of the northern lights and world-renowned maple syrup.

  Universal healthcare, an old age pension, and the "baby bonus" are all things we can be proud of.  Mr. Dressup and The Friendly Giant entertained the kids while their parents watched This Hour Has 22 Minutes or played Trivial Pursuit. We gave the world the paint roller and garbage bags...imagine life without those! Not to mention peanut butter, the Wonder Bra and the pacemaker.

  Canada is not perfect. We have skeletons in our closets we are deeply ashamed of. Our historic, and more recent, treatment of Indigenous people is horrific. We need to overhaul both the healthcare and education systems. There is a lot of work to do with this fentanyl crisis and kids dying by their own hands. But...

  I still believe for all our faults we live in the greatest country on earth! Happy Canada Day to us!!

  Ang

  

Prince William & Homeward UK

  Prince William is a founder, supporter, and benefactor of a British charity known as Homewards UK. This noble group is trying to end homelessness in the UK. Their goal is "Demonstrating that together we can end homelessness - making it rare, brief and unrepeated." How is that for an objective! Yesterday the Prince of Wales pledged 3 million pounds from his foundation to get things rolling. Of course, naysayers are attacking him as throwing money at the problem leaving someone else to do the actual work. Those comments infuriated me.

  People being "unhoused" is a problem all of us have to help with. Even those with lots of money like William. We can't attack someone who wants to be part of the solution. In this case, the POW can bring attention to the cause in a way most others cannot. He will spotlight needs and solutions as the press covers his every move. And come on 3 million pounds is nothing to sneeze at!

  It used to bother me when Leonardo DiCaprio lectured us on environmental issues as he arrived on a private jet and commuted in a big SUV. Or Angelina Jolie talking about poverty in her designer clothes and expensive jewelry. I always wondered if they saw the hypocrisy in their words compared to their actions. Whether they do or not is irrelevant. They bring attention to the cause. Much-needed conversations take place because they showed up. Prince William is in that same category. And for the record, these things don't bother me quite so much anymore.

  So many of us, myself included, sit back and do nothing about the issues we say we care so much about. Or we send a one-time donation. Then we sit back in our moral superiority and judge other people's actions. When in reality we should be getting off our asses and doing something about it. Voting for those who agree with us on issues, emailing our representatives, giving our time to said causes, and donating when and what we can are all positive steps.

  Homelessness is a human problem. It's our brothers and sisters. Our school friends and military veterans fall victim to it. The mentally ill and the abused suffer most often. It's the educated and uneducated. Children are affected too. If we really care that much we all need to follow William's lead or stop judging him. 

  Keep showing up Prince William! Make your Grandma proud!

  Ang

  

  

  

Baby Boom

  Mr. Al Pacino and his girlfriend Noor are having a baby! Isn't that wonderful news? A baby should always be celebrated, especially when it will be in a home filled with love. Like his friend Robert DeNiro, who welcomed his 7th child a few weeks back, Al is a little bit older than the average new father. The "average" age of fathers is 30 years and 9 months. Both of the men mentioned above have that number beaten by almost 50 years!

  These babies are by no means the men's first child. DeNiro has five adult children and a tween...not to mention grandkids. Pacino has 3, all twenty-plus. And both men are with significantly younger women. Mr. DeNiro is 79 and his "rumored" girlfriend is estimated to be 45 or 46. Al Pacino is 83 while his latest baby momma is 29. I ask the age-old question...what do they have in common?

  These highly successful actors have the financial means to look after their newborns forever. Children are expensive so their millions will come in handy. But raising kids isn't only about money. It's about time. Guidance. Kissing cuts. Reading bedtime stories. Soccer games and dance recitals. Giggles, nightmares, and snotty noses. And the harsh reality is these men have a very real possibility of dying sooner rather than later. Al Pacino will be 101 when his child graduates high school. DeNiro 97. Doesn't seem realistic to me that they will be around to see that walk across the stage.

  I wrote earlier that all babies should be celebrated and I meant it. However, I believe these men are irresponsible and vain. These infants will read about their dads and watch their movies not sit and color with them or go on play dates to the park. They are robbing these children of their most precious resource...time with their father. They both should know better and do better.

  Is that ageist? Maybe. Women get criticized for having babies in their forties. We hear that we are too old for late-night feedings and diaper rash. And that's at 45! Imagine what we would hear in our 70's! Oh wait most women are terrified of the thought of a baby in their late 40's let alone in their geriatric years.

  Bottom line is no one would think this was wonderful if it was Grandpa Bob who was retired from the gas company. Or octogenarian Al who was a middle manager at the local grocery store. Creepy would be more like it. This is okay only because they are celebrities. We give them all a pass because of how they earn their fortunes. That's on us.

  Remember just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  Ang

  

  

  

Happy Gotcha Day Cricket!

 Two years ago I received a Facebook message from a lady I had been chatting with for about a month. Her family was facing more stress and health issues than most of us deal with in a lifetime. With their plates overflowing they had made the difficult decision to rehome their 8-month-old puppy. And they had picked us!

  Once they had agreed it was the best thing for all involved they wanted to move quickly. Just a few hours later this depressed woman arrived on our doorstep hauling food, toys, beds, treats, and the cutest little sheepadoodle you've ever seen! 

  Through tears, she told us his schedule, likes, and dislikes. She sat on the floor and hugged him. Then she hugged him again. We stood there watching the pain on her face. Not wanting to share our excitement and joy while she cried. I reassured her Cricket would be loved and well taken care of. She smiled, hugged him again and very quickly went out the door without looking back. It broke my heart to watch her sit in her car, trying to get herself together enough to drive. 

  Inside sitting in front of us was a very confused little pup. Who are you and where am I was surely going through his brain. He sat right where he was left for a very long time. No food. No water. No treats. That night we hoped his bed would bring him comfort but it did not. He cried most of the night calming down a little when I came downstairs and sat with him. I fell asleep patting him and woke up to find Alex laying on the other side of Cricket's bed covered by the dog's blanket.

  Days two, three, and four were pretty rough. Cricket was scared and very sad. But each day he started responding more to us. He left the front door and walked into the kitchen. He would take a treat from us. On day five he wandered into the family room and sat on the floor by my feet. A week later he was on the sofa beside me. After a month he was asleep in the middle of my bed every night.

  Two years later Cricket is such a big part of our daily lives we cannot remember what life was like without him. He still sleeps in my bed and follows me wherever I go. The trainer called him "velcro" cause he never leaves my side and follows me with his eyes constantly. He's gone from a smallish puppy to a whopping 70-pound hairball who never quite learned how to fetch but can give more love than any human I've ever met.

  We are not "mom & dad" and we have two kids and a dog which people are shocked by. I buy toys weekly and he goes to puppy-care at least once a week to play. He is spoiled with treats and the occasional piece of cheese. Did I mention he is super cute?

  Happy Gotcha Day Cricket!! I hope we make you as happy as you make us xox

  Ang

  

  

Goodbye Mary

 So much has happened since the last time I sat here at the keyboard. I was too busy, too sad, too stressed, too something to actually put words down. Finally, I feel like I'm in a place where my head is back on straight and my thoughts can flow in a more concise manner. I don't want you to have to think too hard to get my point.

  Just a little over a month ago my mother-in-law died. Had she just fallen asleep and never woken up this would have been sad but easily acceptable. Mary was 91 after all. Instead, John and I, and the kids, watched the slow decline of dying of old age. And it's absolutely nothing like what you see in the movies or on television. As the doctor said with no underlying cause, death is the shutting down of organs with the brain being the final holdout. And it is brutal!

  We waited, coaxed, and begged her to eat and drink. I cooked all her favorite foods and she would have a bite or two. For twenty-four days, yes I said twenty-four, she did not eat. Not a bite. How can you possibly survive that long without food? Let alone someone who was barely 100 lbs, to begin with. Her body attacked itself trying, fighting, to survive. For over a week she was comatose but we knew she could hear us. Five days before she passed she no longer took fluids. And in the final two days, Mary was in a coma unaware of what was happening to her or around her.

  On a quiet Thursday evening, she took her final breath with John holding her hand and me stroking her head. She died at home, surrounded by those who loved her, those who cared for her, and her precious photos of those who could not be there. Those final moments, how we knew it was coming at that exact moment I have no clue, were calm. Almost serene. The doctor said we gave her the ultimate gift. I agree wholeheartedly. 

  While we did a lot of the care we were blessed with two personal care workers who came into our home as strangers and treated Mary like part of their own family. They spoke to her kindly even though she was unresponsive. And watching someone wash a face and apply cream to it is an act of kindness I cannot explain. They taught me how to do things so when they weren't there I was able to make sure she was comfortable. Honestly, we cannot thank them enough.

  Speaking of doctors...Keith Lane is the perfect example of someone who was destined to be a caregiver. He showed up every day that final week. A phone call in the morning and a visit in the evening. He was never, ever in a rush. Dr. Lane would ask how the kids were coping, and whether we were sleeping and eating. He would hold Mary's hand and sit beside her, asking us questions about her life. We couldn't have done this without him. He gave us strength and encouragement when we waivered and grieved with us when it was all over. 

  It's been six weeks. John and I are less mentally exhausted and stressed than we were. We've laughed, cried, and told stories. We walk past the empty room and lingered in the doorway. There is a hole. We feel it every day.

  Ang

Happy 2023!!!

  What a year 2022 was!! Much much better than the previous two for sure. Things got back to normal, well a new normal, and I find myself reflecting on the events of the past 365 days with every emotion possible. The highs were amazing and the lows were a challenge. Yet I find myself on the other side of it still positive that my life is great and that I am blessed with family and friends who make my life even better! And that costs me nothing!

  I hope 2023 is filled with good health, happiness, family and friends. That life's challenges are met with excitement and understanding. That you can see how precious the people you share your life with really are and they realize the same about you. And that smiles, laughter and tears, in equal amounts, fill your soul. 

  You woke up breathing for a reason...every single day! 

  Ang