Stress Relief 101

  A few things are raising my blood pressure and I think if I get them off my chest I might not have a heart attack in my sleep tonight. Yes it's that high. So let's begin.....

  Another shooting at another school in the US today. I'm going to say this in a way everyone can understand. I'll use small words we all know the meaning of. The reason this keeps happening is GUNS. Yes, these people have been radicalized or are mentally ill or blah blah blah. But if there wasn't such easy access to guns this wouldn't happen on a weekly basis. GUNS. Period. 

  Joe Biden is on an apology tour for being in a few women's personal space. Not touching them. Not grabbing them. Not saying inappropriate things. Not sexual in any way, shape or form. Just being too close. Making at least two women feel uncomfortable. Ever ridden on a bus or subway during rush hour? That's being in someone's space. Sit in coach on a plane? Someone's space is being invaded. Holding someone's hand for a second too long or giving a hug to someone in pain? Not a problem. And if you are offended by that or uncomfortable....tell the person. Right then and there. Think about the intention and give the person a chance to understand what they have done wrong.

  Both Premier Ford and PM Trudeau got bad press for coming to the flooded areas in Ottawa this past week. They both were damned if they did and damned if they didn't. Were they a distraction? Of course they were. Did their visits bring extra attention to the devastation? Yup. But peoples anger over it is childish and foolish and needs to stop immediately. People are losing their homes. That is what should be the focus. Grow up.

  Measles is being reported in record-breaking numbers these past few months. Again an easy way to explain this situation....VACCINATE YOUR KIDS! Omg, it's so simple. So easy. Mothers in third world countries carry their kids miles and miles and miles to have them vaccinated. And we have parents who won't drive five minutes to have their children protected. Ask any doctor. Or nurse. Or Pharmacist. Ask me I'll tell you. Just get the damn needles. It's free for God's sake. Don't have a family doctor? Go to a clinic or Public Health. Call your MP or MPP and ask them where you can get it done. Just get them the needles.

  Finally, I'm so tired of hearing about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's soon to be born baby. Every baby is a blessing. Theirs is no more important than any other baby. Hard to believe I know but it's true. My kids? Just as important. Yours? Ditto. The world welcomes approximately 353,000 babies each day! Every day!! This one is no more and no less, important than any of the other 352,999. And we should remember that.

  I feel better already. Maybe I'll survive the night.

 Ang

Next!

  Doing home renos comes with a mixed bag of emotions. There is the excitement of something being pretty, clean and new. Followed by the fear of how much money is going out. Then the disappointment that it takes much longer than you thought to complete! Just as soon as we finished our beautiful, amazing, perfect family room...can you tell I love it?...we are starting in the powder room!

  Unlike the laundry, kitchen or family room not much is changing in the bathroom. Cleaned up. Prettied up. New fixtures but in the same spots. There is only one little extra thing I want to change and it's a sticking point for John and me.  I want some new floor tiles that will be the big wow factor for the room. He doesn't want the hassle of removing the old ones.

  Realistically there are twenty-one tiles in the bath. Hardly any right? That's what you would assume but...they continue into the hallway and entryway. Some are old. All are ugly. My idea is if we are taking out the bath tiles why stop there? What's another one hundred and seventy-one???? This is the moment where John's eyes roll and he hangs his head as he walks away.

  Somewhere in his brilliant mind, he knows I'm right. The amount of work to remove them all makes his knees hurt just thinking about it I'm sure. But he also doesn't want to do what we Maritimers call a "half-ass job". Cutting corners makes things look not quite right and we really want to avoid that at all costs. Well maybe just me.

  Right now I'm 100% in the excitement phase of renos. I have plans and spent a crazy amount of time on Pinterest today. I've found a toilet, vanity, and countertop. There are tiles and light fixtures picked out. The faucet is taken care of too. I've even looked at wallpaper to go behind the sink though I'm still undecided on whether that will happen or not. 

  It will take a few hours to remove everything in that small space. Add on a day to patch up a few spots and paint. Another to put the new things in. Realistically it's a weekend job. So I totally understand why John doesn't want to touch the tiles. I get it. But.... 

  Time will tell who wins the war of the flooring. The odds are 50/50 as I type this. I will use all my design knowledge to sway him to my way of thinking. Give it a few days and I'm sure his vision will be the same as mine. 

  I do know one thing though. New tiles or old ones, John will create a beautiful powder room. And it will take much longer than one weekend so I guess I know two!

  Ang





  

  

Patience...There's Never Enough

  One week ago I folded a basket of towels. Fresh from the dryer and super soft. They even had that snuggle smell. As one of my wonderful kids went upstairs, I won't say which, they were asked to take the basket with them and put the ten towels in the linen closet. Please and thank you. Exactly one week later the same basket with the same towels still in it, is in the exact same position beside the bathroom door where it was left.

  If you have kids then you know patience is the number one thing necessary to raise them. Love comes a close second...but not too close. From the second they are born children test the one thing we can never have enough of. Starting with sleepless nights then moving on to the terrible twos and the tyrant threes, we struggle to keep our tempers when we have walked on one too many lego pieces and found crayon marks on the newly painted wall. It isn't just you....it's all of us. 

  Once school starts we believe our patience will return but then it's schedules and trying to get out the door at the right time. Getting our little angels to eat cereal for breakfast when they absolutely must have toast with the crust cut off is a mind-numbing crisis we face almost daily. All the while we are figuring out what to tell our boss as we arrive late for work again instead of screaming "get in the car" like we really want to be doing.

  The teenage years, as we are finding out, put those other complaints to shame. "In a minute" is every thirteen to eighteen-year-olds favorite phrase. But it doesn't mean what you think. Nope, it actually means "when I get around to it but certainly not this week." Accepting that is the biggest test of patience. And to be honest, both John and I are failing....badly.

  Since we still have quite a few years before we are empty nesters maybe we need to take up yoga or meditation. Something calming and relaxing for the long road ahead. 

  Too bad we don't have the patience left for either one of them!

  Ang

**FYI the towels have finally made it to the closet. Who put them there is anyone's guess 🙂**

  
  

  

  

  

  

Smartypants

  The past few days I've been having the same conversation over and over again. And I've noticed I seem to be in the minority when it comes to this particular topic. The discussions have all been about politicians, their education or area of expertise, and does it matter. 

  There are no educational requirements to be a politician. Personality plays a bigger part for the average voter I would think. Canada has had people in power who were super smart but all people talked about was the fact they had no personality....does the name Michael Ignatieff ring a bell?  He was constantly criticized that he couldn't relate to voters. So he was "too smart". Interesting.

  The current leader of Ontario didn't complete high school. That doesn't seem to be a problem for his supporters but has been an issue for those who don't. Personally, I like the idea that anyone who wants to make this country better can, no matter how "book smart" they are. Truly smart leaders surround themselves with great minds who are willing to compromise, listen and share their expertise anyway.

  Many people in their 70's and 80's didn't have much in the way of formal education. Times were tough and money coming in was more important than going to school. Choosing between eating and going hungry wasn't much of a choice. That was the reality of the times for too many. But this generation also believed in serving their country. Should they have been told no because they made different life choices? I don't think so.

  Sometimes politicians fall into a certain job where they have some knowledge. Occasionally a doctor is the Health Minister and an account is in charge of finance. Let's keep in mind though that a journalist was in charge of Veteran's Affairs and an arts major is leading Economic Development. I'm not saying they couldn't do a good job because it's not their area but they are not conventionally qualified for that position. Yet we seem to be okay with that. 

  Education is important. Common sense, the ability to listen and learn is as well. I think the latter is more important in politics than in many jobs. Life experience is, to me, probably what I'm looking for most in my representatives. It might not be for you but it is for me. I can't believe PM Trudeau has ever worried about the cost of gas or grapes being $4 a pound. But I know he understands the challenges of mental health issues because he has dealt with it within his family. If that was my main voting issue I know who I would favor.

  For better or for worse over the next twenty years, we will see less and less politicians who don't have some form of higher education. Mainly because the population is heading in that direction. Right now though let us concentrate on the actions of our politicians and their policies not on whether they have a piece of paper or not. 

  One final note....if you use a persons lack of education to belittle them stop it. It makes you look petty and mean. Not to mention ignorant. No amount of education makes you a kind person. Remember that.

  Ang

With Friends Like These Two....

  When you are friends with someone you have their back. No matter the situation. You can tell them later how stupid they are or what a huge mistake they made but in the moment you are right behind them. But a best friend? You are standing in front of them taking the punches and hiding the bodies. And you know without a shadow of a doubt, they are doing the same for you. So...what if they don't?

  These past few days Donald Trump has said some pretty nasty things about John McCain. While that's not a new thing for him, what's unique is the U.S. war hero and Senator is dead. Yup, he cannot defend himself or do anything else to anger the leader of his party. Yet three days in a row he has criticized and degraded his memory and legacy. This isn't surprising, even to someone who doesn't live there, but Mr. McCain's closest friends reaction is.

  Not one of his closest friends and allies have spoken up. Not one. A few coworkers have but what they have in common is they are not up for re-election till 2022 so they aren't worried about Trump's ire causing them problems with keeping their jobs. It's decency wrapped up in a security blanket. 

  Where is Lindsey Graham? Joe Lieberman? These men were the self-proclaimed "three amigos". How come they aren't counter punching for John's family? Shutting down Trump as soon as he speaks or tweets. Instead, his family is forced to respond and defend the man they should still be grieving for in private. This is the last thing they could do for their friend and they are staying as silent as church mice. Shame on them.

  So why aren't they moving bodies and taking the blows for their fallen friend? The only explanation that makes sense? Fear. They both seem to be scared of Trump and are willing to let him trash their friend if it means they will keep their power. Graham is 63 and Lieberman is 77. Both must have their retirement funds taken care of by now including a hefty federal pension. Lieberman is already retired. Isn't their own dignity and honor worth more than their jobs or standing? Apparently not.

  If your government representatives moral compass is important to you then you should never have voted for either of these two men. They have proven themselves selfish and petty. How could you expect them to defend your interests if they won't do it for their "best friend"? You can't. Keeping their power and position is more important than anything.

  One note to all this that I find important. One is a Democrat and retired. The other a Republican and still in office. It seems that a lack of moral fiber is on both sides of the aisle. 

  The McCain family deserves better. From Trump. From Lieberman. From Graham. Clear evidence we need to be very careful who we call our best friends.

  Ang

Perspective Yet Again

  One of my favorite words is perspective. I truly believe every so often we all need some. You can get it from many sources....friends, family, total strangers. Some get it from death. Others from birth. However you derive it, it's the lessons you take away from it that matter. 

  Yesterday was a day full of it for me. After a tough year health-wise, I happily celebrated my aunts birthday. She is in her "golden years" and would rather not tell her age though on occasion she shares with strangers who compliment her. We had some laughs, reminisced and spent a few hours just being happy she is around for another birthday cake. 

  A few hours later I'm sitting at home complaining about the cold, the kids, the dishes and Trump. Oblivious to things outside of my own little space. Then just when I least expect it, perspective shows up and tells me I'm not the center of the universe. A death in the family clears it all up for me. 

  Should it take something so sad and so unexpected to give me clarity? Of course it shouldn't but we spend our lives thinking about ourselves first. A jolt is sometimes the only thing that can open our eyes. I just wish it didn't have to be such a final one today.

  Ang

Shame On You

  I try to live my life being positive. That there is good in people. More in common than separates us. That sort of thing. And I always think that we Canadians are better than others at showing that. A shining example of how to live and accepting of our fellow human beings. Well, the glow has faded a little on our halo and it makes me angry.

  Thursday evening an eleven-year-old girl went for dinner with her father. When she didn't return at the set time, her parents no longer live together, her Mom grew concerned. After waiting a bit and receiving a scary phone call, police were notified. At 11:30 at night an Amber Alert went out for this child who everyone feared was in trouble. 

  Canada has a state of the art emergency system. An alert can be issued over every tv, radio and cell phone across the country, or in a specific area, in times of danger or missing persons. It is implemented when police or emergency services need the public's attention. It isn't used often and it deserves our immediate attention when it is. This is the system police used late Thursday night.

  What happened next makes me angry, embarrassed, sad and furious. Over three hundred people, 300, called 911. Not to say "Hey I've seen this child" or "I know where the father is". No, these three hundred people called the emergency number to complain about the fact that the alert went out so late at night!!!!

  The complaints included it woke them up, it interrupted their hockey game, it scared them, they own the phone how dare police use it as a tool. Let those comments sink in for a moment. The police were trying to find a child, a child, who they believed was in a very dangerous situation. And people complained about being woken up. Or missing a goal in a hockey game. That tells me every single thing I need to know about them.

  In my opinion, I want every single one of those people who called and tied up the emergency operators to be fined. And not a few bucks but a lot. And I want their names released so their peers can know how callous and self-centered they really are. How they lack basic empathy towards their fellow human beings. I want them scorned and shamed. 

  What have we become when the safety of a child is less important than our sleep? Or our tv or phone? Are we actually at that point? I very much hope not but it seems like some of us are. More than I honestly thought possible.

  The little girl was Riya Rajkumar. Her father murdered her. May she rest in peace.

  Ang