BRRRRRRRRR

  By all accounts, this January has lasted approximately 194 days. And those days were cold. Bitter cold. With windchills that would make a polar bear shiver. Add 100 cms, or three feet, of snow to that and it made for one challenging month. For old and young alike.

  Canadian winters are never easy but I have to admit the older I get the harder they seem. Right now we are experiencing a "polar vortex". I read the definition of it and let me translate it for you....it's too cold for anything that breathes to be outside. 

  My heart aches for homeless people as they try to stay warm after a night in a shelter. Hopefully businesses will have empathy and allow these people to come in from the cold and warm up. There is a housing shortage in our city and I'm sure it's not the only one. These cold nights can easily kill our most vulnerable and we really need to help them long term.

  Everyday things seem more difficult and I find myself putting off things when I shouldn't. Like groceries or getting gas. There is no appeal to pumping gas at -30 and even less to buy groceries when the kids are able to have food delivered 24/7.

  Try to stay warm wherever you are. Limit your exposure. If you can stay home do. Don't worry about pretty worry about frostbite. And remember...binge watching Netflix in these temps is a must.

  Ang

First Response

  One of the hardest things for a parent to do is watch their child fail. It doesn't matter how big or small the fail is, it punches us in the stomach and hurts our heart. Yet they need to learn failure. And we need to let them. No matter how much it hurts.

  Failure is a part of living. We've all experienced it. Some people handle it better than others. There is no way to teach our kids how to handle it except by example. And since most of us don't handle it well we probably aren't the best role models.

  When Alex realized his marks weren't going to be what he wanted or expected we had to decide our reaction. Do we ground him and take away privileges? Yell and scream and tell him how irresponsible he is? Those are the things our parents would have done. We went in the opposite direction.

  There were no loud voices. No harsh words. No tears. Just an honest discussion about focus, commitment, and hard work. Then how to go on from this. Dealing with the consequences and figuring out the next step. And you know what? Alex mimicked our response. He was respectful and soft-spoken. Lesson learned...for both of us.

  It's easy to lose our minds. I do it on a nearly daily basis with my kids. But I know we handled this right. And most importantly his first taste of failure was met with the adult response it should have been. Some days we really have this parenting thing down pat!

  Other days....not so much.

  Ang

Ignited

 Yesterday I changed my cable services. We upgraded our wifi and went wireless. It's easier, faster and cheaper. Wait what? Cheaper? Yup, that's what I said. The worst part of that statement.....I didn't change companies.

  Don't get me wrong I like the extra $50 a month and the faster download speeds. Now we can all watch Netflix and someone, usually me, won't get kicked off. There are fewer wires and smaller routers. Everything fits beautifully in our newly finished family room cabinets.

  Why did it take a phone call, by me, to get this new deal? How come they were ok with me overpaying for services? Why didn't they call me and say hey you might like this or we can save you money? Instead, I overpaid month after month for substandard service. And they were ok with that.

  I get that they are a business. Their bottom line is to make money. Yet time and again we see ads for discounts and new services that old customers don't qualify for. New customers get better, cheaper service and we get screwed. So why do we, the consumers, put up with this? 

  My cable provider is not unique. Every major company and even the smaller ones overcharge us and sleep very well at night. We as consumers must demand the best prices for the best services....all the time. We deserve it!

  Ang

  

  

Tuesday Musings

  I've been busy these past few days finishing up a major renovation to the family room and couldn't find a few spare moments to write. So while I'm enjoying the first cup of coffee of the day I thought I'd jot down a few things that I was shaking my head about while working.

  Prince Philip is driving at 97??? WTH? How come his children and grandkids haven't stepped in and said: "I'll drive you". Or even a "You are not driving anywhere" statement. He is too old to have the necessary reflexes for driving. There I said it. Call me ageist if you must but you know it's true. He has access to a driver, taxi, bus or even an Uber. Why is he putting other people at risk?

  Imagine having a coveted government job. Good pay. Good benefits. Paid vacation. And then one day being told that the government is shutting down but you are so essential you must continue doing your work because the country just can't live without you. But you won't get paid. Let that sink in. You don't get paid. Those who decided a shutdown was necessary get paid...but not you. I don't care what political party you support, you will begin, very quickly, to hate whoever is in power. And you should. 

  The school bus company sent out warnings not to let your kids wait outside too long for the bus in this extreme cold. No more than a few minutes was recommended. Mine has to walk to the next street so what was he supposed to do when his bus was thirty minutes late? Oh, and your website said it was only going to be ten. You should have canceled the buses. Period. 

  VP Mike Pence tried to compare Donald Trump...I can't actually believe I am writing this...to Dr. Martin Luther King. WTH???? There is absolutely, 100% NOTHING comparable between these two. Enough said on that topic.

  Twenty-six people are as rich as half the worlds population combined. Unbelievable. Imagine what you could do with unlimited funds. The people you could help. The changes you could make. Do these filthy rich folks do all of that I wonder? Most do I'm sure but obviously not enough.

  My coffee has been reheated and finally drank. It's time to face the day and get moving. Maybe I'll buy plane tickets. You never know.

  Ang

  

  

We Are All One

  In this world, where we can find so many differences between us, my normal everyday life is the same as people in such countries as....Costa Rica, France, Japan, Portugal, Poland, Russia, Thailand, and Ukraine. I know this because those are the countries where people have read about my life....today!

  We speak different languages, practice different religions and work at different jobs. Our customs and culture are foreign to each other. Yet we all struggle with raising good kids and paying our bills. How we dress, what we eat, what type of home we live in, none of that matters. We worry about the same things and complain about the amount of laundry there is. We cry and laugh over the same foolish things.

  All of us have more in common than we have differences. That makes me very happy and lets me know that we can overcome anything. This little daily blog proves that point. I hope those reading it learn the same lesson.

  Ang

***Please follow my Facebook page The Kernick Life, and tell me how your life is the same as mine. I'd love to hear about it.***

Bye Bye Resolution

  Every December 31st millions of people make a resolution or two. Most talk about getting in better shape or quitting smoking. Some resolve to be more positive or to step out of their comfort zone. Me I pledged one thing and one thing only. It's the same as last year and the year before. And just like previous years, I have failed already. Actually, I failed much earlier than today but I'm only now willing to concede.

  My New Years Resolution was to get the boys better organized. The early morning runs to the bus and the dash to the laundry room for half dried socks was going to end. No more unsigned papers and certainly no hastily thrown together peanut butter sandwich to be inhaled on the way to the bus. Nope, those days were going to become a thing of the past. Sigh and yet after five unsuccessful attempts to have a smooth flowing morning I declare I am defeated.

  I am/was defeated by my own children. They are 100% to blame for my failure. I could use the excuse they are not morning people or slow morning movers but that would be a lie.  Both choose other things over getting dressed or eating breakfast. They would rather watch YouTube videos about politics or Fortnight than make sure everything is in their backpacks or that they have something to eat for lunch. Anything else wins over getting out the door at a reasonable time to catch the bus.

  Take this morning for example. Both boys were up with time to spare. Alex had no less than 46 minutes to get to the bus stop. Yet he left with no breakfast and was sprinting as he went out the door. Riley was even worse. He had one hour and forty minutes and he was still leaving at the last second with no gloves on and complaining that he didn't know where his laptop was.

  I've never professed to be a morning person. I move slowly because I'm not going anywhere early. But the odd time I am you can bet I'm moving a lot faster than both of my kids combined. Of course I've had a good shot of coffee to give me a kick in the butt.

  I take partial responsibility for the chaos. I know I should have taught them years ago to be better organized. I'm also willing to say we should have implemented a no electronics in the morning rule from the beginning. Hindsight, being 20/20, doesn't help me much. 

  But as my dear friend and parenting guru Janet keeps reminding me...The chaos will pass and the house will be quiet. Then you will miss that noise so enjoy it while you can.

  That's exactly what I'm going to do. Resolution be damned.

  Ang

Politicians....Ugh

  One of my biggest pet peeves about politics, or really the politicians themselves, is that the decisions they make never seem to affect themselves negatively. It's always "the average citizen" who takes the hit and suffers the consequences. 

  The hardest one for me has always been sending troops to make peace or to armed conflict. Most politicians have never been in the military. Normally neither have their children. Or any family member. So when they decide to send troops to say Mali or Afghanistan they are deciding on the lives of people they have no connection to. Yes, I'm sure they think long and hard before deciding but the thought process would be different if their son or daughter was strapping a rifle to their back and heading out. I can assure you of that.

  When the US politicians talk about health care being a privilege and not a right it seems odd that the vast majority of these people talking have always had insurance. And now have the cadillac of insurance policies through their job. They have never had to worry about taking an ill child to a doctor and then getting a bill that will take years to pay. Or buying medication for strep or needing surgery. These rich folks have never had that. Yet they are talking as experts about costs and access. It drives me crazy. Ask a few poor people for a reality check.

  Tax-Free Savings Accounts are one of the greatest things for Canadians. Since its inception in 2009, any Canadian could have put up to $57,500 in one. Well if anyone has an extra $5500 a year to save that is. With no immediate tax savings, it still falls short when compared to an RRSP until it's time to cash it out. That's where the real benefit is. But the average person struggles to max out their RRSP, most do not come even close, let alone find the extra cash for this little gem. Yet I'd bet some of my TFSA funds that every politician has maxed out both. With some money left over. 

  Politicians vote on their own raise. And they never vote for 1% instead of say 5%. Nope, they get whatever they ask for. Teachers, police, EMT's well they have to take whatever "the budget" has room for. Funny how there is room for some but not for all. Most, of course not all, politicians are more well off than the rest of us to begin with. And all make a higher than average salary. No wonder they will say whatever is necessary to keep their cushy positions.

  I'm sure all politicians go into the job with good intentions. And I'm also sure the decisions they make are based on what they think is best. It just seems like what's best for them isn't best for the rest of us!

  Ang

***I just heard a Trump staff member say that those who are not getting paid because of the shutdown were probably going to take vacation over the holidays anyway so they are actually ahead. You can't make this stuff up folks!***

  

Say What??!!

  Are you able to have tough conversations with your friends and family? Especially about the hot button issues like politics, religion or money? What about parenting or health? And when you disagree what happens? Do you lose respect for each other or are you able to see the other persons point of view?

  According to statistics, most people cannot remain friendly with those who disagree with them on major issues. I've lost friends over the years based on my politics and my perspective on life. I believe as long as you are polite you can discuss anything. Though most people cannot refrain from hitting below the belt. And too many equate asking a question with disagreement.

  Once at a party politics came up. It started out innocent enough til a fanatical liberal went completely off the rails. He was insulting and rude. His point became meaningless. Once you attack someone you lose your credibility. The conservative he was chatting with walked away with proof to his theory that all liberals are incapable of rational thought.

   Another time at a family gathering we listened while a couple talked about how people with debt are lazy and stupid. Most of the folks in the room, including them, carry some debt. When called out for the judgment they were shocked that anyone would be offended by their words. Genuinely surprised. They believed they could say whatever they wanted without repercussion. They are now left out of most family gatherings.

  Face to face I can talk to most people about any topic. I really try to see, if not understand, the other persons point of view. And if I can't then I at least remain respectful and change the subject. But social media is tricky. Because you are typing, things can look confrontational when they are not. A simple question can resemble an accusation. And you cannot control how the reader perceives it. Most of us would be best off not engaging in Twitter conversations.

  Whether in person or on Facebook we all need to realize when it's time to change the subject. When to excuse ourselves and move on. Agree to disagree. It's a life skill we all need to learn. The sooner the better.

  Ang

The Same But Different

  In many ways, the people of Canada and the United States are the same. We have the same basic principles, morals, and lifestyle. Or at least I used to think this. This past trip and some of the conversations I had have changed my mind. Too many of the things that make us distinctly Canadian are the polar opposite of our neighbors to the south. But let's focus on just the two biggest.

  We had the opportunity to spend some time with a doctor and his wife. Nice people who were fun to hang out with. One conversation was about universal healthcare and I can honestly say his response to me was not anything I would have expected. He, as a man of medicine, does not believe health care is a right but a privilege. That threw me. Surely a doctor would believe that everyone is entitled to the same access to care. While he does believe everyone should be able to go to the clinic without concern he does believe they should pay for it.

  He was okay with a woman leaving the maternity ward after an emergency c-section with a baby under one arm and a huge medical bill under the other. Why should others pay for her operation was his reasoning. I guess he could see the bewilderment on my face, I'm not very good at keeping my face neutral most of the time, and tried to explain his point in a slightly different way. He went to school for many years. He has massive student debt that takes many years to pay off. Why should his tax dollars be going to a total strangers care who should be figuring out a way to pay for their own insurance premiums while he is responsibly paying off his debt? Their medical bills were the same as his college tuition...debt that was his own responsibility to pay off.

  Again my face gave away my feelings. I explained that as Canadians we do not and cannot understand that concept. Most of us have never had to pay to see a doctor. Or have an operation. The idea of not being able to buy groceries or losing our home because we got sick just doesn't exist to us. We don't get it. No amount of reasoning can make us understand. Yes, medication can cause some financial problems but we have many social programs to help us out with that as well. We believe, and rightfully so I think, that healthcare is a basic human right. Our conversation ended just as it began. Both of us not understanding the thinking of the other.

  Another big difference I noticed is guns. The way we use them. Our access to them and our mentality about them. It couldn't be any more different. Gun enthusiasts in the United States do not want to talk about gun regulations at all. They bring out the "right to bear arms" speak immediately. They know the writers of the constitution were not talking about automatic and semi-automatic machine guns when they wrote those words. Yet that is the go-to defense.

  Here we want rules that keep guns out of the hands of children, irresponsible owners and people who are mentally ill. We insist on a background check and a safety course. If you have a history of violence then you should be restricted from owning one. Basic simple rules that protect us. Are they perfect? Of course not. We do have gun violence but nothing like they do. Are there illegal guns in this country? You bet. 

  Hunters have talked about needing an AK47 to feed their family. Ummmm I'm not a hunter but I think any animal that was shot for food would not be edible with fifty to one hundred bullets in it. Home defense is another big topic. I personally know people who have handguns in their nightstands. One and that's where it stays. They don't take it on the bus to work or the grocery store or on a fun Sunday family drive. Chances are the bullets are somewhere else especially if there are kids in the house.

  Healthcare and guns. They are divisive topics in the United States and the biggest differences between us. Maybe we will never understand each other's positions. Maybe we don't have to to get along. And maybe next trip south I'll pick safer topics of conversation.

  Ang

  

  

Vacation Tips

  Christmas vacation 2018/19 is officially over for us. I've learned a lot over the past twenty days and thought I would share a few of those with you. Travel is expensive and saving money where you can is very important but so is your precious vacation time. Some were surprising to us as seasoned travelers while others you kind of forget about until it happens. Either way, I'm in a sharing mood.

  For example, valet parking is sometimes worth the extra few dollars. Not at a hotel normally or a restaurant but at very busy shopping areas or theme parks it's not a luxury. It can take upwards of an hour to find parking at some malls. One we recently went to was $10 for the garage. Valet parking? $15 and right beside the main entrance and exit. That is a no brainer or it would have been if I was driving and not John! Universal Studios general parking was $20 and an 8-15 minute walk to the gate. Again "preferred" was $30 and valet $50. But trust me after twelve hours of walking through the park when it's time to leave your sore, tired feet will be screaming why didn't you pay extra? Especially when water is $5 in the park. To me, that would be money well spent.

  Never, ever book a compact car. Especially if even one of you is over six feet tall. Or you have more than one piece of luggage. To say we were cramped is the understatement of the year. Not only were we a tight fit but the car is on the ground. So low that a pickup truck could run over you and think it as a speed bump. And speaking of speed bumps don't go over one in those tiny vehicles. Just trust me on that one. Going up one size car is pennies per day and your comfort is worth that and more.

  Decide what you can't live without when booking a hotel. If you must be on the ocean you know the room is going to be pricey. Don't mind a walk? Then maybe you could stay a block off the beach and save money to spend on a nicer restaurant. Not a foodie? Maybe a condo is right for you. Buy some groceries and you can save a bundle. Which you can put towards green fees or a boat rental. Our number one thing is a pool. Waterslides even better. 

  You don't have to eat out every meal. Most of us don't have a big breakfast every day. Personally, I'm a coffee and bagel/toast girl. John wants cereal and a banana. Buy a box of cheerios and a small milk and you are all set for the morning. Every hotel has an in-room coffee maker or free java in the lobby. The idea of getting dressed to have breakfast every morning doesn't sound appealing to me. But coffee and a pastry in bed sounds decadent. Like I was on vacation or something. Take the money you saved and splurge at dinner or a great wine.

  Here's one that sounds almost insulting but honestly isn't meant to be. Most meals in the U.S., especially at the chain restaurants, are big enough for two people to share. We almost always get one meal and split it. And when we are done we are both full but not "stuffed". Most of us really only need a kids meal yet we are too embarrassed to order it. Give me the toy please. Whether at the drive-thru or at the counter trust me the workers don't care what you order. And you get a drink!

  This final one was pretty tough for us but it's a reality we need to face. Our children are now at the age where we need two rooms. In hotels and on cruises. At six-one Alex needs more than a pull-down bed where his feet don't dangle off the end and they certainly don't fit in a double together. This will double our travel expenses and cut down on the number of days spent away from home. Neither is a good option. Sometimes reality sucks.

  See I told you most were common sense stuff. Save where you can. Accept where you can't. But always, always make the best of it. You are on vacation after all.

  Ang

  

  

Vacation Notes...Part 1

  I believe that while on vacation the minimal amount of screen time should happen. The occasional pic on Facebook or Instagram. An email to let the folks at home know you are ok. And of course a quick check on the bank account. But that is it. So I guess you know what I have been up to these past three weeks!

  First, let me start by saying Happy New Year!!! I hope 2019 is filled with love, laughter, happiness and good health for you and your loved ones. Last year had its challenges but as a family, we persevered and maybe learned we are stronger than we thought. Always a good lesson to relearn.

  So vacation......it was very relaxing. Very. Not without its share of aggravation of course. We are traveling with our kids after all. But overall I feel refreshed, renewed and calmed. My ideal result. I think every one of us feels the same. Or at least I hope they do. I'll settle for John feeling rested. Which I know he is.

  We spent Christmas week in a condo in Orlando. The weather was perfection. Warm, sunny with a nice breeze. We could swim early in the morning or late in the evening. Shorts and capris were the norm and other than a light sweater during the first nights walk we never wore sleeves. Someone asked me if I minded not seeing snow on Christmas morning. The short answer....NO!

  Because we had a condo with a full kitchen we had our normal Christmas dinner of turkey, stuffing, and dessert. Except it was a turkey breast which I hadn't read was soaked in brine to "seal in flavor". That translates to salty for us but we ate it. Our Mickey Mouse tree had presents under it and Santa filled our stockings.  And the four of us were together which is all that was needed. 

  Boxing day we went shopping at the outlet mall. Now for those of you not familiar with Canadian traditions, December 26th is "the" shopping day of the year. Not only are all holiday decorations at least half off but most clothes and shoes are too. So we expected to find outrageous deals. But none were to be had. It seems that Black Friday is their equivalent. And we were over a month too late for that sale!

  The big adventure for the first week was Universal Studios. It didn't disappoint but boy did it put a big dent in our pocketbook. With a $730 US get in the door price tag and $5 bottles of water, it was by far the most expensive day. Was Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley worth it? Every single penny. It was magical, sorry to steal your phrase Disney, but it was. We had a blast and even went on a few rides.

   For the remainder of the days, we lounged in the sun. Absorbed the heat. Slept in and stayed up late. A perfect week. Sadly only one. Happily, week two had its own set of adventures which I will tell you about later.

  Time to take a short nap. 

  Ang