Another Organic Rant

  While drinking my first coffee in a week, I read an article about organic food and how we, parents, are killing our kids feeding them pesticide riddled meals. And I've had it. Stop trying to make us feel like failures. Stop trying to scare us and blame us for health issues in our kids futures. Just STOP!

  You know who can afford to eat 100% organic and healthy? Rich people. Or folks with high paying jobs who have no children. The rest of us? Not a chance. Why? Because organic food is always more expensive. Always. My grocery bill is high already but would double, at least, every month if we went totally organic. 

  A family only has so much money to live on and we all pick and choose what we spend it on. Yes we choose. We choose piano lessons and soccer. French tutors and good shoes. Snow suits and warm boots. Bicycles and braces. And yes we choose visits to Disney and family pizza nights too. 

  Every month I pay a mortgage on a house we bought primarily because it was in a good school district. I make a car payment on a vehicle that is kid-friendly and has room for their friends too. Money goes into an RESP so both my kids have the opportunity to go on in their education if they choose to. I try to put some cash aside for our retirement so we aren't relying on our children to care for us in our golden years. Our financial life is based almost entirely on our children.

  Parents take enough crap daily on our choices. We are judged by everyone....including other parents! I'm doing the best I can. 99.9% of all parents are too. We are all aware we could do better. What we don't need is you trying to publicly shame us for not meeting your ideals. I am aware it takes a village to raise a child but the village should be a supportive one, not a judgmental one.

  One final note. My friend Mari, who I affectionately call "Granola" at times, doesn't judge. Why is she different? I think it's because she has children and knows first hand the financial choices parents make daily and how we struggle to make the right ones. Parents seem to get the most vocal judgement on this topic from childless people. 

  Why can't we all be more like Mari?

  Ang

  

  

  

The Flu

  Tuesday night I went to bed a bit later than normal for a school night but feeling good. I woke up Wednesday morning with the flu. And a bad one. The entire day I could do nothing but sleep. Oh yeah and blow my nose.

  By the early evening I was cold, hot and shaky. I was coughing and my nose was running. And I was grey. That's how John described me. It took all my energy to make it to the bathroom to get cold water for the cloth on my forehead. I was feeling worse and my Warner sinuses were not helping at all. John brought me juice and more tissues. Sleep was my best friend.

  Thursday proved to be an even bigger challenge when my body decided the only way to clear my lungs was that ugly cough that hurts and makes your throat raw. My cough medicine of choice did nothing. Except make me cough more. I was another level of miserable. And because I was almost non-stop coughing, sleep never came. It was impossible to elevate myself high enough to get any relief.

  Friday morning John stayed home to take Alex to an orthodontic appointment. I managed to get downstairs and was upright long enough to hard boil some eggs....though I did need to take them upstairs to eat. After work my friend brought me some soup and I felt I would live since I was able to eat twice in one day. It's the simple things I guess.

  Saturday was a challenge after another night of interrupted sleep. My cough was worse and still sleep eluded me. But I managed to rest which is almost as good. That night I got a full uninterrupted 8 hours! While I still coughed periodically, Sunday was much better. I was tired but on the mend. 

  This morning I awoke to no sinus headache and less coughing. My throat is only a little bit sore and while I won't have a cup of hot coffee, I might manage a warm tea later. I'm not hot or cold. My bones no longer ache. I am over the worst. I will live.

  John, Alex and Riley all stepped up while I was ill. In fact they went above and beyond. The house is clean. Groceries are bought. Laundry washed, dried and put away. John even painted the dining room and kitchen! Alex cooked most meals and made school lunches. Riley got his own lunches too and caught the bus every day. They need me less and less. What a wonderful feeling to know they are independent enough to take on what has to be done.

  Maybe I need to get sick more often!

  Ang

  

Get Over It

  Yesterday I heard a response from Canadian Senator Murray Sinclair to the question "Why don't indigenous people just get over the trauma of residential schools?" that made me say "YES!!" in my empty house. Here is his reply....

  "Why can't you always remember this? Because this is about memorializing those people who have been the victims of a great wrong. Why don't you tell the United States to "get over" 9/11? Why don't you tell this country to "get over" all the veterans who died in the Second World War, instead of honoring them once a year? Why don't you tell your families to stop thinking about all of your ancestors who died? Why don't you turn down and burn down all of those headstones that you put up for all of your friends and relatives over the years? It's because it's important for us to remember. We learn from it."

  Read that statement again. Doesn't it put things in perspective? Not just this one issue but every single one where you continually hear "Why don't they just get over it?"  Brilliant.

  Why can't we, all non-indigenous people, remember this? Are we ashamed? We should be. Do we feel it's in the past and we should move on? Of course we do. Should we move on? Once we have learned everything we possibly can from it perhaps. But we haven't yet. Not even close. If we had we wouldn't be asking that same old question.

  I don't know how to solve this issue. I don't know how I can help these now men and women move past the fear and trauma of watching other children disappear. I'm not even sure they can. But I do know saying "Get over it" isn't the way.

  Ang

  

  

Words

  People sometimes forget that words have meanings. Not just Webster's meanings either. When you speak, you can not take back those words. They are out there in the universe forever. Ten, twenty years from now, someone might react to something you've said with "Hey remember that time you said....". And in this technological age, where everyone has a smart phone, you can be damn sure someone has you on video saying something you will come to regret. 

  I believe that words have unlimited power. How we use them on a daily basis affects every single aspect of our lives. Good and bad. Make a snide comment about a co-worker and watch how everyone else treats you from then on. Like the plague. Talk about your brother's divorce as a failure and don't be surprised if Thanksgiving dinner is uncomfortable.

  We all know that while arguing with our significant other we need to be careful just how far we go with our words. Some words can change the entire relationship for ever. Or end it. The realization that words cannot be taken back, no matter how many times you apologize, is a life lesson some folks never seem to learn. Or learn from.

  This all leads me to the speech made at the United Nations today by Donald Trump. Using the words "Rocket Man" in reference to Kim Jong Un is not only childish but extremely dangerous. For all of us. It is public shaming of the scariest kind. Imagine how the diplomats trying to ease tensions will be met by their North Korean counterparts. Not with open arms I assure you. Those two little words could change the world. 

  What this 71 year old has never learned is that sometimes words can provoke the same reaction as a weapon. In this case with dire consequences. His use of words is scary. His lack of thought put into them even more so. 

  Think before you speak. Twice if necessary. That goes for voting too.

  Ang


  

Piano Time

  We got a piano today. It's big, beautiful and old. While we still aren't 100% sure it needs to be tuned, it's a wonderful sound filling our house. No volume control though like the keyboard had. It's one level...loud. Oh well I'll get used to it.

  The piano made us re-evaluate furniture placement in our living room. It's the only space capable of housing something so big. But that led to a day of moving sofas, chairs and tables. And cleaning. Lets not forget the cleaning. We have some out of control dust bunnies in this house let me tell you.

  Now the room looks brand new. It seems bigger. And the ceilings higher. John kept telling me we need height. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get it but I'm thinking a tall fern. Or a tropical palm. In a huge pot. Just like I put outside this summer. Fingers crossed that's what he meant by "height".

  With the living room looking new and pretty, the connecting dining room looks dated and blah. While it used to suit our taste, it no longer goes with the house. I guess we will add that to the very long list of things we want, and or need, to change about this house. That list is now longer than the wall I was talking about. We will have to win the lottery to complete it.

  I guess I'll never be satisfied with this house. But today I'm happy with the living room. At least til it's piano practice time.

  Hmmm I wonder how much ear plugs cost?

  Ang

That Lazy Kate Hudson

  Oh Kate Hudson I bet you wish now that you had thought before you spoke. She jokingly told Cosmo that having a c-section was the laziest thing she had ever done. People went nuts! Both in her defense and to criticize. Craziness.

  A little background note....she had a planned c-section. They call it a "life style" choice and many, many women are opting for it. Moms-to-be think it will be easier and more convenient. Boy are they wrong! She was not, at least as I read it, talking about emergency c-sections. And it seems to me she was making fun of herself not women like me who have had two.

  C-sections are major surgery with major recovery times. Six weeks or more. I spent four days in the hospital afterwards. I wasn't allowed to lift anything heavier than the baby. Sitting up was an adventure in itself. Why anyone would chose to do it is beyond me. 

  Her comments made a lot of people angry. It got me to thinking about a few comments I have heard over the years. That I wasn't a caring mother since an operating room was necessary. Another was how I had hurt my children by having their first moments ruined with doctors, bright lights and strangers. And my personal favorite...how I hadn't "really" given birth. Trust me I did and I have the scars to prove it.

  You can be a mother by many means. Thirty six hours of labor, a fifty minute surgery, adoption, marriage, fostering, surrogates. All ways to become a mom. How the baby comes into the world doesn't matter. What you do after they get here is what really matters. Because that's what a Mother really is all about.

  Leave Ms. Hudson alone. Let her get her lazy self moving and enjoy her children's childhood. It goes by faster than those c-section scars fade.

  And please, please don't tell me I forgot fur babies. I love dogs and cats but they are not children. Really they aren't.

  Ang

  

It Is What It Is

  Being the Prime Minister of Canada is a very prestigious job. You are the leader of the greatest country in the world. Wherever you go other leaders respect and admire you and the country you lead. So why is it we, the people of Canada, are so up in arms about PM Trudeau's Christmas vacation and how much it costs? It drives me crazy.

  First off, the PM is never "off duty". The official cell phone doesn't get turned off for a week. Events happen that need to be addressed. Natural disasters. Coups. Terrorist attacks. Not everything needs a response from the PM but it is important that he/she is aware of what is happening in the world. And not just from CBC News or CNN. That means people. Lots of people.

  So who does need to travel with the Prime Minister? I'm sure there is an aide. Someone from the Press Office I suppose. There is military personnel too....flight crew and maybe a technician or two. And of course security. At least three shifts of security. That's twenty people. At least.

  Those people need hotel rooms and food. They need plane tickets, rental cars and taxi fare. Like all government employees they get money for incidentals incurred from travel. All of this adds up. Sometimes into the tens of thousands of dollars. Or more. We may not like it but these are the costs of having a leader.

  All the people I've listed are essential to our leader being informed and protected. Wherever the PM goes they go. Even when it's a family vacation. We need to accept that and move on. Wasting valuable time and resources discussing and analyzing it won't change the fact that if PM Trudeau goes away this year at Christmas those same people, and maybe even more, will have to go too.

  Personally I think folks are a little jealous that he got out of the cold and snow and hung out on a private island. Without long waits at airport security and lots of leg room on the flight. I know I am! 

  In the famous words of Erich Fried..."It is what it is". Now live with it.

  Ang
  

Same Drawer Different Day

  A few days ago I wrote how I was going to start the new school year off by becoming more organized. Starting with the utensils drawer. It's now three days later and as I'm emptying the dishwasher this morning I realize I didn't clean it out! One job I gave myself. I failed. Just like last year and the year before. Is it a sign?

  Yes it's a sign. A signal from the organization gods that I am meant to try again. And to keep trying til I succeed. That is the message I'm taking from this revelation. We have a tendency to be too hard on ourselves...especially women. In the big scheme of things does it matter if the tongs and vegetable peelers are intermingled? Of course not and I have much more important things to think about, or do, in the course of a day. Perspective. I love that word.

  Some of my friends are very organized. Ask them where (insert any item here) is and they can tell you exactly where to look. Same question posed to me? Well that might take a few extra trips to various rooms of the house. Sooner or later I will find it. Maybe. And I'm okay with that, most of the time.

  Today I will do whatever I can in my ongoing journey to organization. I just won't name what that should be. 

  But I really hope it's that utensil drawer!

  Ang

First Responders

 Today being September 11, I thought it only fitting to talk about first responders and the job they do. With the destruction from Harvey and Irma fresh in our minds, it makes it an even better time to think about these brave men and women. Those that run towards while others are running from.

  We have all heard the stories from sixteen years ago about the firefighters, police and paramedics who saved countless lives. How they worked tirelessly to rescue as many people as possible. Sadly we also heard how many of those brave souls lost their own lives while trying to save others. True heroes. Not once did we question their dedication or bravery. Nor should we.

  In the last week rescuers using sea-dos, canoes and fishing boats became heroes as well. Local people saving their neighbors and strangers alike. Showing the world that most people are kind and caring. Working alongside the professionals, they created a bonded community that no amount of street pot lucks could ever accomplish! 

  Right now we are watching folks going in to badly damaged communities clearing debris from roads and businesses. We see workers from power companies risking their lives to restore power to those without. You can witness police officers going door to door looking for people who decided to ride out the storm and making sure they are ok. One thing to keep in mind when you see these people.....they have families and homes they are not with or taking care of to make things better for others. They are true heroes as well.

  We can all be heroes. I think most people have it in them. It doesn't have to be huge. Small things can make just as big a difference to someone. Do what you can. When you can. That's all anyone can ask of you.

  To all the police, EMT's, firefighters, military, doctors and nurses out there.....thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We are always in your debt.

  Ang

  

Deja Vu

   Every year around this time, I have a conversation with myself about getting organized. It's detailed and harsh. I call myself a few nasty names and even promise rewards for accomplishments.  And every year the outcome is the same. I fail. Badly. Really badly.

  This year is going to be different though. This year I'm going to set the bar so low that even I will seem successful. That's right, by lowering my expectations I will accomplish my goals. For example my first goal is to clean out the utensils drawer. That's it. Throw away the things that don't work and wash out the tray. Fifteen minutes tops. That's attainable right?

  In previous years I think I've made the list too long and too complex. Picking one small task a day might just make me not hate my disorganized house. I might even pick a time every day to complete it. Make it a routine. Do it while I'm enjoying my morning coffee. Multi-tasking at it's best. 

  Tomorrow I will awaken with a new mind set. A new determination. Energy and initiative. I will be successful. I will become organized. I can feel it in my bones.

  Why do I have this over whelming sense of deja vu??????

  Ang

Ahhhhhhh...Silence

  Here that sound? It's the absolute quiet of the first day of school! Yup another school year has begun and not a minute too soon. Both kids, though Alex would never admit it, were ready to go back. Not as ready as their mother was!

  I love my kids. Spending time with them is a privilege and joy. As long as it's in short bursts. And they are not together. Because like most brothers with a three year age gap, they don't particularly like each other. Even in the pool, which we thought would be the great peace maker, they argued over everything. Enough already.

  The nine weeks of summer break is seven weeks too long. I like the way they do it in some European countries where school is year round, with short breaks throughout the year. It would be horrible for daycare scheduling at first but we are a pretty adaptable group of people. Besides kids outgrow before and after school care quite quickly. Think of the benefits.

  Watching Alex leave this morning I was filled with nostalgia. I remember the four year old climbing up the stairs into the bus with a backpack that was bigger than he was. That same boy is six feet tall and in grade nine. How did that happen?

  Riley, who was in a stroller watching Alex's first day, is now in grade five and almost my height! He walked down to the bus stop with Dad this morning, excited and over joyed at seeing his friends again on a daily basis. The kid loves school and doesn't even try to hide it. I love that about him. Now if only he loved doing homework even just a little.

  I will enjoy the quiet tomorrow. With John home today we will relish a few hours spent without the kids. Tonight we will listen to all the stories and start to settle into a routine. Fingers crossed that will be easier than last year. 

  Enjoy your children. They grow so fast. Before you know it they are driving, getting jobs and moving out. But always, always, enjoy the first day of school for yourself. You made it through another summer break!

  Pop the champagne corks Deb, Kelly and Jen!

  Ang

  

Last of the Free Days

  Backpacks are filled. Pencil cases are crammed full of newly sharpened lead, and colored, pencils. Binders have been emptied and refilled with lined paper just waiting to be written on. Calculators, rulers, erasures and pens are in assorted zippered compartments. New sneakers have been broken in. Let the new school year begin!

  Though they would never admit it, the boys are ready to go back. The lazy days of summer are fading and now they are longing for some time away from me, this house, and most importantly, each other! They need to see their friends and make new ones. Their brains need more stimulation than any video game can provide. They are ready.

  I too am ready. My brain longs for quiet stretches where I'm not refereeing a fight or figuring out who started what. An opportunity to get things done without interruption. To purge their rooms without complaint. To listen to the quiet. It brings me joy just thinking about it.

  This Labour Day weekend will be the last bit of freedom they have for another year. They will sleep in and stay up late. They will complain about Tuesday and their lack of freedom. But secretly they will be on pins and needles. Excited to see what the new year will bring.

  I won't be so discreet!

  Ang