My News Feed

  Once again a few things popped up in my news feed that drove me nuts. While some days that is easily accomplished, today's are just plain annoying. People need to know when to stop talking....a crazy thing for someone to say who writes and rants on a regular basis I know!

  Jay Z... shut up about being unfaithful to your wife. You have three children with this woman. They will google you at some point and this NY Times interview will come up. You are speaking about their Mom. Show the respect for her now that you obviously didn't have when you were cheating on her.

  I love to see a happy couple. But the fact that Meghan Markle didn't wear pantyhose at her engagement photo-op is not news! Yes the Queen wears them. Yes Kate does too. Is this the end of the world? Of course not. And to all those women who bought the now famous white coat she wore for the announcement....what the hell? It's a white trench coat! You can buy them anywhere. Just this once though I'm giving you a pass since the designer was Canadian.

  Angela Lansbury....sigh. I don't know what to say. You are a product of your age I suppose. I wish I could explain to you why so many woman took offence to what you said. This is another example why women don't come forward when something happens. If Mrs. Potts and Jessica Fletcher don't have our backs who will?

  If you re-tweet something from a racist site that incites hatred towards a group of people....you are a racist. There is no way to defend it. That is who you are. Whether you are sitting in your parents basement or leading a country.

  Well that was just a few of them. I'm sure you had some too. Maybe tomorrow will be less annoying. But I doubt it!

  Who knew pantyhose still existed!!

  Ang

  

WTH....Matt Lauer??

  Matt Lauer has been fired. Just like that, the Today show started the morning reading a statement about his firing for sexual misconduct. Now we are hearing that the NY Times has been investigating allegations. Is this NBC's attempt to get out in front of a scandal? Probably but I'm taking it as a sign that companies are waking up to what women have known for years....it's not easy to be a woman in the work place. Or anywhere else for that matter.

  Women are used to men, and women, looking at places other than our faces when they are speaking to us. Yes it's sad to say but we are. Many times we make comments like "My eyes are up here" or "What are you looking at". But most of the time we say nothing. Why? Because it happens so often. Ask any woman with a B cup or higher. 

  While we must protect ourselves when out in public, at work there are supposed to be protections in place for everyone's security. Not just women's but for the men being accused as well because not every accusation is based on an actual event. That is a very hard thing to say but it's true. 

  In the workplace, women need to have each others back. Not the cattiness we are known for. But sharing information on harassment between ourselves and to the proper authorities. And I can't stress this enough....believing each other! No one should ever make false allegations as it takes away from those who are struggling with coming forward. 

  One other thing I've noticed....many of these men have daughters. How do you explain those allegations to them? And your spouse? They too have, or will, experience harassment. Will they believe you? That's a tough one. Can you love and share your life with someone and still believe they are capable of such behavior? I'm not sure I could believe anyone who said my husband was guilty of such a thing. 

  Thankfully I will never have to answer that question myself.

  Ang

  

Reminiscing

 As we come into the Christmas season, I'm becoming quite sentimental, which isn't me most of the time. My mind turns to other friends and family I haven't seen or heard from in years. Those that are still here and those that sadly are not. 

  Of course my Dad is the number one person on my mind. Dad loved Christmas lights like no one else. I would jokingly say that the astronauts on the International Space Station could see his house as they circled the earth. And I wasn't necessarily kidding. He also liked a good turkey dinner but one meal was enough. No hot turkey sandwiches for him. I wish my kids could have one more memory to cherish. But he lives on in Alex's weird sense of humor and Riley's slurping of soup. 

  I would love to have a party where Tom, Lew, Charmaine, Joyce and Catherine are guests. Janice, Vince, Darlene, Ralph and Donna would be there too. We would laugh and catch up. Then laugh some more. Maybe have a beverage or two.

  My next party would bring my family together. Our big extended family. Those by choice not blood. Janet & Dan would be there with Will & Tammy. Hugh & Heather would bring Nicole and Erin. Joe would meet Verna & John. The Laugher clan would hang out with Darrell who would tell them stories of us as 20 somethings. Angie Kelly would be there with her infectious laugh....even though she is Mrs. Landry now she will forever be a Kelly to me. What an evening this would be!

  The final soiree would be all our blood family. All at one table. Eating, laughing and reminiscing. Brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles. Everyone. No one would argue. No one would cry except tears of laughter. We'd take pictures where everyone looked happy and content. From the oldest, Granddad, to the youngest, Vada, we would have the time of our lives. The best Christmas ever.

  But those are just dreams. We won't all physically be in the same place this year. In fact we never all will. It's hard enough getting siblings together let alone extended family. This year though we can all be together in our hearts if nowhere else.

  So can all of you. Call, text, Facetime or Skype. Find a way. Don't let the miles stop you from enjoying those still on this planet. And fondly remember those who are not. 

  Ang

Thanksgiving

   In celebration of Thanksgiving for our friends to the south, ours was last month, I have compiled a list of things I am thankful for. 

  I am very thankful for my furnace this chilly morning. Living in Canada means at least four months of frigid temperatures. It doesn't mean we have to like it though. With the days getting colder and colder, it's probably the most important thing in our house.

  My slow cooker has a special place in my heart these days. Before the sun comes up, dinner is made and will be ready at the perfect time. I only discovered this life-altering appliance a few years ago but it's now my go-to at least twice a week in the winter.

  The heated seats in my car are a real blessing. While it takes a while for the car to defrost, the heat is almost instantaneous from the seats. I like that. A lot. Now if only the price of gas would lower.

  I'm thankful for my friends. They not only keep me sane but more importantly, out of jail. When I've hit my limit for stupidity they haul me back from the brink. No small feat let me tell you. 

  Most importantly I'm thankful for my family. The three amazing men I live with most of all. They drive me crazy and are the entire reason I have grey hair. Yet they bring more happiness to my life than I ever could have imagined!

  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  Ang

Why?

  Why is it when a woman questions a man, he immediately feels threatened? It doesn't matter the topic. It can be something small...like who is responsible for a certain program or how something is done...the glare in your direction is almost a given. In some cases that turns into correcting you on every misspeak and in as public a form as possible. It's childish and pitiable. 

  Why are men believed while women must have proof? Seventeen women said they were harassed by Donald Trump...he is elected President. Several women, some were children when the harassment began, came forward about Roy Moore...he is supported by the party of "family values". One man accuses Kevin Spacey....all hell breaks loose. 

  Why is the world run by older, rich, white men? What makes them more qualified? Are they smarter? More able to solve the world's problems? If you look back in history we will see that is not the case. Many major, and minor, conflicts were started by leaders who fit that description! They don't seem to show the required skills to keep us free and at peace. And you know what they say....history repeats itself.

  Why do men feel they have the right to treat us with disrespect? Is it because we let them? Perhaps some women do. Some women see the big picture and let things pass instead of speaking up for fear of consequences. Either response is not acceptable since it sends a message to men that we are okay with the behavior. With the amount of complaining we do to each other it is obvious we are not!

  Why will men's first response to these questions be "That's not me!"? Is it because they are being questioned? If so please go back to paragraph one and begin again. 

  Ang

**Of course this isn't ALL men but it's more common than you may think.  Women live a different experience than men do. Don't believe me? Ask any woman in your life. She will tell you.**

No I in Team

  Teachers have my unwavering support 24/7/365. I am their biggest supporter and defend them at every turn. They have one of the hardest and most important jobs on the planet. Their dedication is unwavering and their accomplishments are in someone else's achievements. So when I complain about them I have a real complaint.

  Alex's report card came home last week. It was not anything close to what we expected. To say we were shocked would not convey our disbelief. Not because we think our oldest is an A student, we are well aware of his short comings and strengths. But my policy has always been to not worry til a teacher tells me to worry. And no one gave us any indication we should be worried. Well we are worried now.

   Alex is not failing. But he is below what the Ministry wants every student to achieve in two subjects. Shouldn't I have heard from a teacher? Long before this? I have been told there is no set policy as to when a teacher contacts parents over their students. Maybe there should be. 

  I spoke with the vice principal about this. That's how I know he is below where they want him to be and that there is no policy on contact. She did say something interesting. Teachers sometimes make a "professional judgement call". They decide if there is real reason for concern or that the student is just getting their feet under them slower than expected. Hmmmm I think that over half way through the semester is too long to be getting your footing. 

  Today one of the two teachers called me. She was unapologetic about not contacting us. She believes he will improve if he spends more time and energy on his work. That however was not in his report. He can go for extra help during lunch three days a week. That was not on his report either. While I believe she wants him to succeed, she was obviously never going to contact us. That shocks me a little.

  I have learned a valuable lesson. We aren't in middle school anymore. I need to change my expectations of Alex's teachers. And I need to be making appointments to see every teacher whenever the opportunity arises. I need to hold them just as accountable as I do Alex.

  Let me wrap it up by saying this....Alex's marks are NOT the teachers fault. They are his and his alone. He is the one doing the listening, homework and studying. Or lack there-of. We, Alex, his teachers and us, all have to be part of the same team. 

  At this moment it looks like the team let itself down!

  Ang

  

2 Days Later

  Saturday morning at 11 o'clock, millions of Canadians stood silently for two minutes. They remembered the sacrifices that were made for their freedom. Looking at Veterans, now in their late 80's and 90's, and seeing them as young soldiers fighting for what they believed was right. We, as a country, were proud. And thankful.

  Today all Federal government workers are enjoying a paid day off because this day of remembrance fell on a Saturday. Yes you read that correctly. Federal employees are sleeping in, going out for breakfast, getting their cars fixed and putting up their Christmas lights instead of working today. 

  I suppose I could say that soldiers fought for these workers freedom to negotiate the best deal for themselves. I could say that this is not the fault of the workers but of the government and the unions who wrote this into contracts. But I won't because this makes me angry. Very angry.

  Are we to assume these workers "sacrificed" their Saturday off to go to a cenotaph so they deserve today off?  Most of the country did that AND went to work this morning. Without ever thinking they were "sacrificing" anything. 

  Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Family Day...they are days focused on ideals or religious events. Remembrance Day is about a small group of people, and getting smaller every passing year, who made, or are willing to make, the ultimate sacrifice for this country. Nothing else. 

  The idea that it means a long weekend for government workers if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday is ludicrous.

  Ang

  **FYI....My husband is a Veteran AND a government employee. It never occurred to him that today would be a day off.**

The Same But Different

  At first glance, Canadians and their neighbors south of the border, seem pretty much the same. But that couldn't be farther from the truth. While we may share some core values and ideals, it's becoming more and more evident, we are polar opposites on other really important ones.

  Canadians believe that access to healthcare is a right, NOT a privilege. The idea of deciding between seeing a doctor and eating is insane to us. In the U.S. if you are born with an illness you may not be able to get insurance your entire life! Imagine that. I'm not saying our system is perfect, far from it, but no one dies here because they cannot afford to see a doctor.

  Guns. Another topic we both understand and can't fathom. Canadians own guns and while we complained about the gun registry, we did it, for the most part. Hand guns are rare in this country while they are as common as minivans in the U.S.. Automatic rifles are for the police and military here. According to a Republican politician I saw on tv a few days ago, they can also be used for hunting. Really? Really?? A good hunter needs one bullet not fifty.

  Religion in politics is another area we are miles apart on. Can anyone name what religion our past three Prime Minister's were? Or say that it mattered? We have no interest in our leaders church-going habits. Nor should we. There is a definite separation between church and state that we don't see in the United States. For good reason. Politics are about all of us. Religion is personal. We allow it to stay that way.

  National pride is a big one. One of the first things I notice when I cross the border is the amount of flags I see. Almost every house has one flying. That is a rarity here. People talk about living in the greatest country and how they are world leaders. We don't do that. At least not enough. However if you travel the world you will find that Canada is much more respected than the U.S....especially this past year. We are universally considered to be decent, helpful and brave. I guess we let our actions speak for us.

  I love travelling south. I've never had an issue anywhere we've gone in the United States. We've always been treated with kindness and respect. When folks find out I'm Canadian, there is always a story of a visit to, or a visitor from, Canada that was so nice. That word, nice, is always used. Always. 

  We are the same....but different. That's a good thing for a country to be!

  Ang
  


  

Be An Adult

  Once I was having a conversation about indigenous peoples with someone who believes Canada should wipe the slate clean and say it's over. I knew this was going down a bad path so I attempted to change the subject. Again and again the conversation would return to the exact spot where he felt I must agree...which was never going to happen. I would change the topic to something else but he was determined. Finally I just stopped talking. I concentrated on my dinner as if I hadn't eaten in months.

  After several minutes of what I would call ranting, the table was quiet. And uncomfortable. Everyone was aware it had gone too far. I continued eating and then casually asked if anyone watched Wallander on Netflix. With a new, safe topic to discuss, things returned to normal. Well sort of. 

  Everyone there learned a valuable lesson. Yes we were all friends. Yes we had agreed on many subjects over the years but we were all different. And we all had different opinions on controversial subjects. Some of which we could never discuss. Ever. At least not civilly.

  As I think of that night, I'm wondering what would have been the outcome if I hadn't been the adult? Where would the conversation have ended? Would we still be friends? Would I have been shouted down til I could no longer look at my friend anymore? Most importantly would he ever have been the adult? I would really like to think so.

  Some people of course can't do it. They must be right. At all costs. If that means shouting you down, well so be it. Friends, family, total strangers. Doesn't matter. They will continue til you cave to their way of thinking or you leave. Either way they feel they have "won". 

  We must all strive to be adults. The stakes are very high if we don't. And we must be able to recognize those who can't be and keep them out of positions of power. 

  Ang

  

  




  

Wisdom of the Crowd

  Last night I started watching Wisdom of the Crowd. It's a great show about social media and how it could be used to solve crimes. While it is a work of fiction created by Ted Humphrey, it's not so far fetched. 

  Social media follows our every move. Thinking about a winter get-a-way? Check out a few websites and chances are the next time you check Facebook there will be a post from a hotel or airlines. I get shoes ads daily...no idea how they got there...wink wink. Twitter suggests things daily based on who you follow and what you like or re-tweet.  Big brother is now a reality.

  So why wouldn't the police use this network of amateur detectives to help solve crimes? It could be done so easily. Just last week a local restaurant posted a CCTV picture of two men who didn't pay their $100+ bill on their Facebook site, which I don't follow, but within an hour of them posting I saw the photo. All of my "friends" two hundred plus "friends" saw it too. If only one of them shared it that could be over a thousand people from one share! What an easy way to get info out.

   Lots of people "check in" when they go to a restaurant, theater, bar etc. I see it immediately on your feed. I know you are not at home. Or worse yet you check in from an airport or a Caribbean resort. Now I know you are gone for at least a few days. If I'm a criminal well I've picked my next target. It's an easy way to pick them. Don't believe me? Ask Kim Kardashian. The idea that the police can use the same information for good is heart-warming.

  We are all guilty of sharing too much. Sharing our lives with friends and relatives who live far away via social media is technology at it's best in my opinion. But it comes with a cost. We lose privacy. And our own addiction to these platforms is to blame for our loses. I've heard this statement from many, many people...if it's not on Facebook/Twitter/Snapchat/Instagram it didn't happen! Interesting.

  I'm okay with the police using my social media activities to solve crimes. At least my many hours on line wouldn't be just wasted time!

  Ang