Be An Adult

  Once I was having a conversation about indigenous peoples with someone who believes Canada should wipe the slate clean and say it's over. I knew this was going down a bad path so I attempted to change the subject. Again and again the conversation would return to the exact spot where he felt I must agree...which was never going to happen. I would change the topic to something else but he was determined. Finally I just stopped talking. I concentrated on my dinner as if I hadn't eaten in months.

  After several minutes of what I would call ranting, the table was quiet. And uncomfortable. Everyone was aware it had gone too far. I continued eating and then casually asked if anyone watched Wallander on Netflix. With a new, safe topic to discuss, things returned to normal. Well sort of. 

  Everyone there learned a valuable lesson. Yes we were all friends. Yes we had agreed on many subjects over the years but we were all different. And we all had different opinions on controversial subjects. Some of which we could never discuss. Ever. At least not civilly.

  As I think of that night, I'm wondering what would have been the outcome if I hadn't been the adult? Where would the conversation have ended? Would we still be friends? Would I have been shouted down til I could no longer look at my friend anymore? Most importantly would he ever have been the adult? I would really like to think so.

  Some people of course can't do it. They must be right. At all costs. If that means shouting you down, well so be it. Friends, family, total strangers. Doesn't matter. They will continue til you cave to their way of thinking or you leave. Either way they feel they have "won". 

  We must all strive to be adults. The stakes are very high if we don't. And we must be able to recognize those who can't be and keep them out of positions of power. 

  Ang