The Uneducated

 In 2016, Donald Trump said, "I love the poorly educated." This comment was made in a victory speech after winning the Nevada caucus. Since then, parts of this phrase have been echoed by many. Both conservatives and liberals. Used by both sides as the reason the world is in the state it is today. They could have said "the uninformed" or "political ignorants," but they didn't. The words were carefully chosen. And it irritates me...a lot!

  The View host, Sunny Hostin, has several times blamed "the uneducated" for policies put in place by elected officials who support Trump. As if those who, for whatever reason, didn't continue their education in a university or college, were somehow less informed than their degree-wielding counterparts. While that may be true for some people, it certainly isn't for most. And I've met many Master's Degree and PHD holders whose political leanings do more harm than good.

  Remember during COVID lockdowns, how we wouldn't have survived without grocery workers, the truck drivers, and warehouse workers. Or had anything to eat without the farmers and fishermen. Janitors in hospitals and schools keeping the germs at bay. We were so appreciative and swore we would never again look down on their contributions to society. That didn't last long.

  There are a few insurance companies that advertise better rates for university graduates. Obviously, they believe that makes you a better driver...not quite sure what one has to do with the other, but ok. Some optical stores, barbershops, and many beauty stores give discounts. You can even get a discount on LASIK eye surgery... wth? 

  Does a piece of parchment with fancy writing guarantee success? Don't tell that to Rihanna, Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Lawrence, and Whoopi Goldberg. All extremely successful in their chosen fields, not a diploma of any kind amongst them. Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Sidney Crosby never stepped foot in a lecture hall. Bill Gates, Richard Branson, and Oprah, all billionaires, not one earned degree amongst them.

  Even within the world of academics, there is status. Some degrees are worth more than others. Ask any engineer, and they will tell you theirs is much more prestigious than others and show you their ring, of course. Just a bachelor's degree? Be prepared to be looked down upon by those with Master's degrees. And PHD holders? Don't be surprised if they correct you all and want to be called doctor. Who is the "uneducated" now?

  I guess it's all about the value we put on a piece of paper. I personally think we put too much emphasis on it. Not that people shouldn't go to university, more that those who don't shouldn't be thought of as lesser than. Or that someone who goes into the trades should not be looked at with disdain because they work with their hands and not their minds, because that is simply not true. 

  When it comes to politics, being "well educated" has absolutely nothing to do with a degree or diploma. It is all about information, circumstance, and need. Those change all the time for all of us. Read up on the news of the day from several different sources. Ask questions. Those leaflets your representatives, or wanna-be reps, put in your mailbox? Read them before you throw them in the recycle box. Make up your mind based on facts you have verified. You'll be better informed by the time you cast your ballot.

  Stop trying to diminish people because they chose a different road than you. It makes you look...uneducated.

Ang

Don't Cry Alicia!

 There is a social media influencer from Halifax, Nova Scotia, named Alicia McCarvell, who promotes body positivity, showcases her great sense of humor, and shares her adventures with her hubby. If you've come across her, you know how funny some of the videos are, and many of you have because she's got 6.2 MILLION followers on TikTok and 2 million on Instagram. What a success story!

  Every day, at least one of her videos crosses my screen, and usually I take a peek.  Her body-positivity posts inspire many. She is smart, talented, and yes, curvy. I've seen her give fashion shows, display what she bought at Costco, and go on vacation. She's got quirky glasses and laughs at her CPAP machine prettiness. Her husband Scott is in a lot of her videos, and he is one handsome dude who is obviously deliriously in love with his wife. 

  Alicia shares her life with all of us, and for the most part, we enjoy it, thank her, and appreciate the happiness she brings into our lives. But as we all know, sharing anything on social media comes at a price... keyboard critics who unleash their nastiness with the most vile, spiteful language. They feel they can insult, belittle, and criticize no matter the topic. Saying things they would never say to her face from the safety of their basements.

  But today I saw a video she posted, and it made me furious! She's crying. Yes, some loser, actually losers plural, made this woman cry. Someone they don't know. Someone whose videos they don't have to watch. Someone just trying to share their life with like-minded people. They made her cry. All because of the horrific, disgusting comments they have left on her posts. I said losers, but I really mean assholes.

  Alicia asked the question we all ask when someone we don't know comments on a Facebook post or a TikTok video we've posted: What did I ever do to you? The simple answer is nothing. You did absolutely nothing. These horrible people feel better about themselves by trying to make others feel bad. They really believe that people reading their comments think they are smarter than anyone else. They are jealous whether they can admit it or not. 

  We all read the comments. And 99 good reviews are overshadowed by the 1 nasty one. That's a sad fact, but a fact nonetheless. Nothing I say or do will change that. But here is something I do know: at the end of the day, we need to pity those who say these vile things. Their unhappiness, their bitterness about their lives, drives them to try to make the rest of us just as miserable. Misery loves company, or so they say.

  Don't stop sharing your life and your accomplishments. Keep making your followers smile, laugh, and celebrate with you. Don't let those assholes win. 

  And from one NS girl to another...keep hitting that block button!!

  Ang

  

Fly Away Little Birds

  As parents, we are always walking a fine line, trying to figure out when it's "time". Whether it's getting rid of the bottle or soother, social media accounts, or dating, we all struggle. Especially when it comes time for our babies to leave the nest. But when our "kids" reach a certain age, we all need to let go and let them claim both successes and mistakes as their own. Some of us are excited about it, and others can't seem to let go. 

  All around me, I see parents who never let go, and their adult children pay a huge price for it. Mom and Dad want nice apartments in nice neighborhoods for their offspring. Even when they themselves lived in a crappy one in a seedy area of town! Complaining that rent is too high, though we scraped up $500 a month when we were barely making $700 in "our day". So it was good enough for us, but not our kids? Interesting. Don't we all think we did a better job raising our kids than our parents did with us? If we truly believe that, then what's the problem?

  What many parents forget is exactly what we learned in those first few years of struggle. How to cook and stretch a food budget comes to mind immediately. We figured out Kraft Dinner didn't actually need butter and milk to be eaten, and that peanut butter could get us through an entire shift at work. Where we used to laugh at commuters on the bus, we sat happily beside them, thankful to be out of the rain or snow. And while our furniture was mostly hand-me-downs, we became thankful for a place to sit and a table to eat at. 

  I would say the biggest lesson we learned from our dive on Gaston Road was how much better we wanted our home life to be. We wanted nice furniture and a larger TV. We quickly understood that buying a good mattress might be the most important piece of furniture we could own, and we wanted it covered with a pretty duvet and soft pillows. And that a yard was a luxury we wanted! Armed with all this new information about ourselves, we worked harder, spent less on late-night pizza and beer, and brought our lunch to work. We grew up and began to realize what was important to us. A life lesson I'm not sure you can get in any other way. 

  Now we are on the precipice of sending our children into the world of bills and responsibility. They will learn to live with the consequences of their decisions. They will be the ones looking at their bank account balance of $17.22 and figuring out how to stretch that til payday. They'll need to learn how to change a furnace filter or fix a broken door lock. But you know what? They will. Cause we all did! It's part of growing up.

  I'm looking forward to the next phase of both my children's lives and the parenting journey that is changing yet again. It will be filled with happiness and excitement I'm sure. And you'll hear my voice cheering them on the loudest and proudest, no matter what they do. I'm their Mom after all!!

  Let the adventures begin!

  Ang

  

Do Better Women

 Do you know who Jessica from Aggressive Tutorials is? How about Brooke Ervin? Heather from Mrs Browns Kitchen? Well, if you don't, you should. They are three very successful social media "cooks". I used "quotation marks" because they do so much more than bake and prepare meals. They entertain, they educate, and they make us smile. All without making us feel less than. They are far from perfect and not Martha Stewart wannabes. They are you and me. So why is it that when women share on social media, other women take that as a challenge to tear down what they have created? Aren't we better than that?

 A little backstory on our subjects...Jessica and Brooke are moms of young kids, so you know they are tired. Heather has no kids but is married. For the sake of this post only, and the point I'm trying to make, I need to mention that one is overweight, one is gay, and one has an eating disorder. Why? Well, those are the exact things they are being criticized for. In 2026. How ridiculous is that? 

 On any given day, you will read comments from women trying to belittle their accomplishments. Lots of men too, but honestly, I expect more from women, I just do. And what is always the loudest criticism? Their recipes? Their lack of real measuring? Nope, the comments range from "you're too fat" to "I hate gay people." With a little "you should take better care of your kids" thrown in for good measure. Not to mention "get that cat off the counter." 

  If you don't like what, how, or by whom something is being presented, click to something else. No one is forcing you to stay on that site, reel, or TikTok. No one. But instead of moving on, you somehow feel obligated to comment about what you hate in a nasty way. So, my fellow women, I ask the question...why?  

  Does it make you feel superior? Do you think others are reading your comment and thinking, "wow this person is amazing"? Are you jealous? Think you could do better? Is something missing in your life? What trauma is making you behave this way? 

  Let me tell you a simple truth. These women have heard it all before. Many, many, many times. Think you are the first person to tell Heather you hate her, and she's going to hell? Think again. Do you think Jessica isn't aware of her size? I 1000% guaranttee you she is. Or telling Brooke she should really stop eating so much fried food is going to be an "aha moment" in her life? Ummm nope. 

  Women need to build each other up. We've got enough to deal with. If you can't help lift, then at least don't add any weight to our lives. Stay quiet and move along. Remember your mother saying if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all? That rule still applies. Or maybe, just maybe, try to figure out why you are compelled to judge total strangers in such a demeaning way. 

  We need to be better. We just do.

  Ang

  

  

  

 

 

  

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

 Advertisers want you to believe this is the most wonderful time of the year. That everyone is happy, smiling, and singing carols as they shop with no thoughts of price tags. As carols play happily in the background, we bake gingerbread cookies and baste turkeys, all while the entire family looks on with anticipation, joy, and love. I'm not trained in advertising, but what a crock that is! Let's be honest about the holiday season, rather than the "Hallmark moment" they are trying so hard to sell us.

  For at least 90% of us, cost matters. A lot! The $18 turkey we had last year is now $25. The potatoes, veggies and desserts are up too. Those nuts you only buy at Christmas? They might have doubled in price. And you aren't just buying for this one meal. You are adding on to your regular groceries. You could easily be looking at an extra hundred dollars, and that's on the conservative end. 

  Now that you've overspent on groceries, let's bring out the "wish list". Even if the list is shorter than last year, chances are it's still going to cost more. Video games, Lego sets, pajamas, and even Grandad's slippers went up. Sticking to your budget is almost impossible for most of us. We don't want to disappoint anyone, so out comes the Visa to save the day. Creating a whole new set of problems come January.

  Finances aside, let's not pretend the holiday season, spent with extended family, is without drama. There is always one who is too conservative that sits on the sofa next to the liberal. Someone always drinks too much and brings up "family secrets" at the dinner table. A child has a meltdown. Grandma criticizes. Tears are shed. A day or two with our nearest and dearest is exhausting! We are not meant to be on our best behavior for that long a time frame. We just aren't!

  While this might be your favorite time of year, keep in mind not everyone feels the same way. People are still ill and have loved ones in hospitals. Someone is standing vigil as a loved one dies or making funeral arrangements for another. It's the one-year, or tenth, anniversary of a death that still hurts. Grandparents cannot remember their own children or the celebrations of the past. It's rough for a lot of us. And while we may put on happy faces and try to enjoy ourselves, many are hurting inside from a pain they can not share. Be extra understanding of them. 

  Wow, it seems as if I've removed every ounce of joy from the holidays! Feel free to call me the Grinch or Scrooge. But I'm not looking for perfection over the next four weeks. Not in presents or food or decorations. Certainly not in conversations, visits, or parties. I'm hoping for a minute or two that becomes a memory, preferably a happy one. One that five years down the road elicits a smile or a laugh when it comes up at another gathering. Where we shake our heads and say "Remember when...". 

  That's what I'm aiming for.

  Ang

  

Sweet Karoline...Not!

  

  Karoline Leavitt bothers me...a lot! Like Kelly Ann Conway and Sara Huckabee Sanders before her, Ms Leavitt uses her pulpit to tear down women at every opportunity. She belittles, insults, and criticizes females daily. All in the service of a man who uses words like "piggy" and "nasty" to describe women who challenge him while bragging about walking in on teenage girls in various stages of undress. Makes me wonder how she and her predecessors look in the mirror every morning.

  What I cannot understand is how these women, both Conway and Sanders have daughters, defend their words to the women in their lives. Putting the politics aside and focusing on the personal attacks, how do you explain to a girlfriend over a glass of wine that in the process of defending your boss, you have to attack other women for doing their job? Questioning another woman's intelligence is your go-to insult that is televised around the world. How do you sit at Thanksgiving dinner with Grandma, who fought to be able to open a bank account and get a credit card without Grandpa's permission, and chat about your job being the spokesperson for a man found libel of sexual abuse? Bet that's weird.  

  The biggest hypocrisy of all to me is her exploitation of her faith. Again, like her predecessors, Leavitt talks almost daily about her faith being her guide. How being raised Catholic defines who she is and what she believes. That Christianity is her guiding light. Apparently my own Catholic upbringing was totally different than hers. I was taught to help people. To feed the hungry. Shelter those in need. Turn the other cheek. Do unto others...you get the idea. Were her parents, not to mention the priests, reading from a new edition of the Bible? Are there different religious guidelines in New Hampshire than in Nova Scotia? Ones that perhaps say be nasty to others? Or judge everyone? I don't think so.

  I believe she knows when she is stretching the truth or telling bald-faced lies. I'm pretty sure she isn't as under the influence as some may think. Karoline Leavitt may just be one smart cookie, who enjoys the world stage and being a headline on a daily basis. If, and that's a big if, she survives long term in this administration, she will have a book deal followed by a nice career on Fox News. Conservative groups will pay her to speak at their conventions, where she will talk about the "good ole days" of MAGA. 

  Karoline, be more supportive. More uplifting. More empowering. Protect your female colleagues from the misogynistic men in your workplace. In the infamous words of your boss's wife...be better.

  Ang

  

 

It Doesn't Really Matter

 It's the most wonderful time of the year...at least that's what the song wants you to believe. For me it is, with a healthy dose of stress and anxiety thrown in to make it less Hallmark movie-ish. But for many this time of year is dreaded. Feared even. Between social anxiety, too high expectations, and financial shortfalls, many families are worried about the next six weeks and beyond at an immeasurable level. I believe we can help those around us who are suffering without hurting their pride or depleting our own reserves. And perhaps helping ourselves in the process.

 This time of year we all tend to have more visitors. Normally that translates to food and drinks. But does it have to? I do not need appetizers and wine at every friend's house. I may need a glass of water or a coffee, but I do want my pants to fit after New Year's and that will not happen if I eat and sip at every stop. If you want to offer me something, peel a few mandarin oranges. They are super cheap and delicious this time of year, and we could all use a bit more fruit in our diet. Put anything on a festive plate and voila you are entertaining.

 One thing that would help everyone is not to be the hated "dropper-inner". Not everyone wants you to see the pile of laundry on the coffee table or the sink full of dishes. We are all still working on top of all the extras we have to do in December. Respect that. I always tell people I'm visiting them not checking out how clean their house is. But it's not about me, it's about them. Maybe they do care. Minimizing that helps no one.  Call, or better yet, text first. Let your friends decide whether they want to open their home to you. To those I have done this to...please forgive me.

 Alright let's talk presents. No adult, not one, needs anything. We might want a new sweater or a serving tray but we do not need one. Want and need are two very different things. As grown ass people, we can go buy what we need when we actually need it. Stop buying us "stuff". But if you do feel compelled, get a grocery gift card. Or one from a big box store that has everything. Movie tickets or restaurant vouchers. And to be brutally honest, you may think you know what we want, but you would be wrong. Chances are they are donating or regifting so save your money.

 Kids are a totally different story. You should be focusing on them this time of year. Their gifts do not need to be expensive. Most will not remember next year what they got. But they will remember watching a Charlie Brown Christmas with you or the nights wrapped in blankets, driving around looking at holiday lights. You gift-wrapping a small toy in a box, within a box, within a box is the stuff of lifelong memories. Time. Your time. Your focus. That's what kids need. Being their "present" will make the season happier and less stressful...for the whole family.

 Let's lower the bar this year. Say whatever I do is enough and mean it. No decorations? Ok. Stuffing out of a box? Delicious. Messy house, everyone is in pajamas? Perfect. None of it matters. Read that again. None of it matters. The only thing that matters is you and yours. 

 Ang

 

Thank You Jays!!

 Like so many Canadians, I needed a few days, more like a week, to get over the loss of the Toronto Blue Jays to the LA Dodgers in the World Series. It was heartbreaking!! But what a season they gave us!!! A whirlwind of home runs, comebacks, and nail-biters. Some games we jumped out of our chairs. Other times, we sat on the edge of our seats, praying they could just make one more run. We, as a country, enjoyed every single one of them! 

  Yelling at the screen at Coach John Schneider's in-game decisions was commonplace. Soon enough, we realized he knew more than us what was needed and who could carry it off...sorry about that John...and we relaxed, confident in his leadership. He defended his players fully, gave them chances to shine, and thanked the fans constantly for their support. 

  The big guys stepped up as always. Vladdy caught balls he shouldn't have been able to. He ran faster, threw harder, and slid better than we ever could have dreamed of. Even when he was injured, he was the loudest supporter from the sidelines. George Springer and his Whalers batting gloves hit a Canada Day grand slam that will be replayed every July 1 for decades to come! He played with unmatched skill, even while injured, throughout the entire season. Leading by example all the way.

  Clement, Varsho, Schneider, and Lukas were outstanding!!  Out-freaking-standing!!! Nathan Lukas made the most of his big league shot after twelve years in the minor,s ending the season batting in the second spot and starting every game. Clement hit the ball so often that he set an MLB record, getting 30 hits in one postseason! And his sliding! Legendary. Davis Schneider did whatever was asked of him. He pinch hit, he stole bases, he showed up! Dalton Varsho spent some time on the injured list, but when he came back, look out. He is so good at every aspect of the game and made catches that would have been impossible for anyone else. 

  Barger, France, IKF, Gimenez, Heineman, Loperfido, Straw...all played outstanding! Showing us all that being part of a team is about doing what is needed as a group, not as an individual. Come on, Gimenez drove in Ernie, IKF ran his heart out, and Barger hit a grand slam! Talk about contributing!

  The pitching staff...what can you say? Gausman was Gausman. Max Scherzer was intense. Bieber got the job done.  Trey Yesavage blew us out of our seats! And the bullpen was outstanding!!! We could not have asked for anything more from them. 

  Last but certainly not least, my favorite, catcher Alejandro Kirk. His bat was on fire. He picked off runners effortlessly. He called the games with a skill most catchers only dream of. All while being criticized for not looking like a professional athlete. They are right, he isn't a fast runner and has the build of a beer-league catcher. But he is a natural. Perhaps that's why he is my favorite. He shut up his critics by playing better than anyone. Besides, how fast do you really need to run when you are hitting home runs most of the time? Or to the warning track? Exactly. 

  They didn't win the big prize. However, they did win the hearts of this country. Pulling us together in a way only sports can. We showed our pride in them, ourselves, and our country. That is something we will always be grateful for. 

  Thank you Toronto Blue Jays!!! It was one hell of a ride.

Ang

Right Again Janet

  In an episode of Downton Abbey, the Dowager Countess, played brilliantly by the great Dame Maggie Smith, said, "All life is a series of problems which we must try and solve, first one and then the next and then the next, until at last we die." When I heard that, I have to admit I experienced an "aha" moment. It was so perfect, so true, so...wrong! 

  The truth is life is a series of wiping down the same kitchen counters, putting the same bottle of hot sauce in the fridge for the tenth time every day and washing the same three fry pans over and over and over again! Yesterday, today, tomorrow, next week, next month and yes, next year. 

  Minutes before I sat down to write this, I hand-washed two pots and three fry pans. Each for the second time today. And we had take-out for dinner! Who used them? What did they cook in them? I didn't see anyone in the kitchen for any length of time today. Certainly not long enough to dirty five cooking vessels. Maybe the dog used them all. 

  Now, my friend and parenting guru, Janet, says to embrace and enjoy the chaos. Too soon the house will be clean and quiet, and I will be longing for a sink full of dishes, she reminds me. Maybe. But will I miss the twenty pairs of shoes blocking the front door? Or the empty toilet paper roll in every bathroom? What about the empty containers in the fridge? I'm sorry Janet I think you may have missed the mark on this subject. 

  I'm not going to harp about there never being a clean towel or crusty toothpaste in the sink. I'll overlook the car always needing gas and the empty takeout bags in the back seat. For the sake of this post, I'll pretend that every light isn't left on 24/7 or that no one ever hears the dog barking. Nope, I'll not comment on 99.9% of all the frustrating, annoying, anger-inducing things my "kids" do. Instead, I'll hold it all in, and every three or four months I'll explode while my entire family stares at me, wondering when I went insane. You do that too right?

  After writing the previous five paragraphs, I went to bed. As I turned off the lights, I smiled at my clean counter, okay, only one side was clean and clear because I didn't have the energy to empty the dishwasher. Walking upstairs, I wondered if just this once I would wake up to the same relatively clean kitchen. I sighed, knowing the chances were slim to none. 

  I heard my youngest come home before midnight. Listened as he stepped on every creaking board on the stairs, announcing his homecoming. The glare of the bathroom light shone directly into my eyes after he forgot to turn it off. My oldest coughed most of the night. I can tell you how many times he got up. Lying awake listening, I reminded myself to buy more soup and cough drops in the morning. 

  This morning, I came downstairs to a counter that was no longer clean. A dirty frying pan sitting on the stove and a pot in the sink. As I went to water the flowers in the front yard, I moved shoes out of the way to open the door, turning off the outside light in the same motion. Sigh.

  The house is quiet. Both boys are asleep. Only the occasional cough now. As I take my first sip of coffee, reality slaps me in the face...Janet is right. I will miss this. Not the messes or the noise. Not the arguments or the frustrations. This "us". No matter how much their actions annoy me, we are not quite ready for this time, this togetherness, to be over. Soon but not just yet.

  Now where did I put that cloth? I've got a counter to wipe down.

  Ang

They Wore What???

 So much of our lives is taken up by politics lately that I want to take a little break from the chaos and discuss something really important. Not the price of groceries being on the rise. Or how much it costs to fill your car. But something so offensive, so disgusting, our entire worldview could be affected by this latest trend. I know you've experienced it and probably recoiled in the horror of it. You might even be traumatized and suffer recurring nightmares. By now, you know exactly what I'm talking about. That's right let's discuss... knee-high socks with shorts!!!

  I'm not kidding, it's everywhere! Shorts, normally the kind with all the pockets,  just above the knee, followed by white knee-high tube socks...wth??? If the person is over a certain age, they switch to black dress socks without elastics to hold them up! Again...wth??? Are these people blind? Do they have no one in their lives who will tell them the truth? Should we plan an intervention?

  If you thought this fashion "trend" couldn't get any worse, you would be wrong. It most certainly can, and does, become even more cringe-worthy with the introduction of...drum roll please...sandals. Sigh, yes sandals. Sometimes even flip-flops. The humanity! My eyes cannot unsee the ugliness. Every time I close my eyes, I relive this sight. Will I ever be able to sleep again?

  Now let me be clear. I've not seen one woman embrace this fashion choice. Why? Because she has girlfriends who will say, "What the hell are you thinking???" True friends never allow you to leave the house in that state. We will let you walk out in pajama bottoms, with unbrushed hair and food on your shirt, but even we have lines that cannot be crossed. You're welcome.

  I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say maybe it's comfortable. The health benefits of less leg and foot swelling might be a factor. Perhaps there is scarring on the upper legs that these men are self-conscious about and want to hide. I get that. But what are the chances that a vast majority of men have all of those things at the same time? Slim, I'm betting. And if this is your hubby, Dad, uncle, brother, etc, tell them they cannot go outside til they change. They'll hate you for it, but it's time to take one for the team. 

  Be careful out there ladies. The streets are rough and we need to be diligent. Enough is enough. 

  Ang

Bullies Beware!

  Sometimes things are very hard to say. We know when we say them, we are putting ourselves out there for judgment, condescension, and ridicule. When an adult does it, we say how brave they are. How much courage it took to speak the words. But what we don't see often enough is teenagers saying those difficult words. Speaking their hard truths. And when we do, we should really take notice of what they say.

  Let me tell you what happened earlier this month. My son spoke his truth. He put himself out there. Bared his proverbial soul. Told the world how he was bullied throughout his high school years. Most didn't know it was happening. Some did know, but not the extent of it. I cried reading his words. Having lived through it with him, having those same feelings of helplessness, anger, and sadness, I was proud and relieved, he chose to take a healthy way to deal with the emotions involved. I would have hated for him to be bitter and angry...ok he is a teenager, so he's always bitter and angry, but that's a different subject for a different day.

  When your kid says, "I'm being teased at school" put down whatever you are doing and listen. Listen carefully. Let them take their time and explain as much as they want to or can. Then ask questions. How many kids? How often? What do they say? Don't worry about your kid using swear words or slurs. These are the words that are being thrown in their direction. You need to know them. Explain how bullies are weak and afraid. That they do this because they think it makes them look better and stronger. But don't stop there. 

  Talk to the school. Yes, I know your child will tell you it will make it worse, they are correct by the way, but you need to let those in charge know that it is happening and that you are taking steps to stop it. Let them know you will keep them in the loop and that if need be, you will be asking them for help. Don't stop there either. Call your local Public Health unit, doctor, or police. Ask anyone who might be able to give some advice. Older siblings. Other parents. Do not, under any circumstances, stop asking for help!

  The sad, awful truth is that high school is awful. As are the teenagers walking the halls. Every student gets bullied to some degree. You are not pretty enough or too pretty. Not smart enough or too smart. You're the gay kid or the poor kid. You dress funny, you've got bad hair, or you're fat. Nothing is off limits. Some get off lightly. But those who don't...their lives can be made unbearable. To the point where they cannot see it ever ending and decide to take their own lives. We cannot be ok with that!

  To the parents of kids who have been, or are being, bullied, you have my full support. I'll give you whatever strength or advice you need. To those parents whose kids are doing the bullying, don't pretend your kid couldn't do that. They can! They do! Open your eyes. Accept that your child isn't perfect and help them learn to be better. Chances are they are hurting too and could really use your support. 

  Don't let the bullies win. You have the strength they wish they had. Remember that!

  Ang

  

  

  

  

  

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

 Remember that Sex & The City episode Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda? That phrase, from season 4 episode 11,  keeps jumping into my brain whenever I think about decorating, shopping, or anything related to the holiday season! My hubby doesn't have those same thoughts. My "kids" don't either. It seems to be just me...oh and probably 99% of all women I know!!!

  I coulda started decorating earlier. The planters could have been done in November when the mornings were chilly and the first frost was on the car. Sitting on the front step in the mid-day sunshine would have been perfect to create a beautiful display. Instead, I've opted to wait til the first really cold day and freeze my ass off. Just like last year!

 I woulda shopped earlier if I had known the post office would go on strike! Instead, I've had every reason to put off getting those gifts that must be shipped across the country. Now I'm scrambling to figure out not only what to buy but how to get it there! One more thing to stress about at the most stressful time of the year.

  I shoulda listened to my inner voice and kept things small. Manageable. Nope, I thought decorate everything, put up multiple trees, shop for everyone. It's not as if history has shown me everyone will help! I've created the situation myself like most women have. And we all have grocery shopping, baking, cooking, and cleaning to look forward to during the remaining weeks of December. Lucky us!!!

  Honestly, the holidays will come and go. We won't remember the mashed potatoes or the decorations. No one will talk about the tree being perfect or those homemade cheeseballs. Instead, we will laugh for years to come over forgetting to turn on the oven or waking up to the dog having ripped open every gift. Our kids will tell their kids about Grandma who read them The Night Before Christmas and how we all fit on the couch to watch a Charlie Brown Christmas for the tenth time. 

  While we all may feel stressed we couldn't, wouldn't, and shouldn't change one thing about the time we spend with our families during this magical time!

  Ang

  

Let That Sink In

 According to the US Census Bureau, there are 47 males per every 100 females. Meaning women make up approximately 50.5% of the population. By a slim margin, women are the majority. Yet they have less rights than their male counterparts. Let that sink in. 

 Forget about therapeutic abortions for the sake of this conversation. Basic healthcare is being denied to half the population. A D&C, dilation and curettage with or without suction, is basic healthcare for women. In cases of miscarriage, this procedure can save the woman from infection, infertility, and death. Yet doctors can go to jail for performing it depending on the state. Oh and if your doctor decides not to because of fear of prison you might not be allowed to leave your state to have it done either. Not just your right to healthcare but your movements as well are controlled. Let that sink in. 

  If you have an ectopic pregnancy it cannot result in a healthy pregnancy. Again the procedure or medication to treat this will result in the ending of the pregnancy...a crime in many states. Doing nothing will almost guarantee the death of the mother. Doctors have to make a choice. It's out of your hands. Let that sink in.

  A young girl barely 12 ends up pregnant from repeated sexual abuse. She is terrified, in shock, and damaged. She needs to heal both physically and mentally. A task that will take a lifetime. Yet people she doesn't know and doesn't trust have decided that carrying that fetus to term is the best thing for her. Let that sink in.

  Imagine being raped and finding out you will be forced to give birth to your rapist's child. What happens to the woman's mental health over the next 36 weeks? What if after giving birth she abuses the child? You could understand if she hated this constant reminder of her violation. The government doesn't care what happens to the child after birth just that it's born. Let that sink in.

  Okay so let's bring therapeutic abortion back into this. This one is simple. If you do not want to have one for whatever reason then do not have one. Your circumstances are not the same as everyone else's. You cannot decide for others based on your own morality or religion. It's simply not your business. Imagine if a stranger could decide things about your health without knowing one thing about your life or situation. I guarantee you wouldn't like it.

  Being denied healthcare is wrong. Denial based solely on your ability to procreate is even worse. Women are more than their reproductive organs and should be treated based on their entire body not just their fallopian tubes. 

  One final thought...close your eyes, think of the situations I've just laid out for you, and think about how scared, confused, and angry those women would be. Now imagine that woman was you...or your daughter. 

  Let that sink in.

  Ang

** I "borrowed" the final thought idea from John Grisham's spectacular book A Time To Kill because honestly, it's brilliant!" **

  

Too Cheap To Be True Answered

 A few months ago I wrote about a Carnival cruise we had booked that was so cheap it was Too Cheap To Be True. I meant to come right home and tell you about it but my cold/flu and bum knee made me forget about it...til now. Here is my honest opinion of our Carnival Venezia cruise that cost a grand total, including gratuities, $1402.

  First off we had an interior stateroom which I didn't think I would like. Wrong! What a perfect sleep you can get with only a teeny amount of red light coming off the exit light. Enough to get to the bathroom safely but not enough to keep you awake. The room was small but with only two of us, it seemed spacious. Lots of hangars, drawers, and hooks. Even though the TV hung on the wall, the console table with open shelves was a nice bonus as was the built-in fridge. A makeup table with seat was well-lit and equipped with enough plugins for an entire family. The two bedside tables had USB ports but no outlets. With so many people using CPAP machines that seems to be a huge oversight. Like all cruise ship bathrooms storage is not an issue. There are more than enough shelves and countertop space for everything.

  Okay let's discuss food. I always say if I don't have to cook it I'm happy. The app allows you to book a table for dinner in the main dining room and it works amazing! My only complaint is that there are two entrances on different floors and when your table is ready it doesn't say which floor to go to. It never failed we were on the wrong floor. Some food I didn't like. That's a matter of personal taste. But it all looked delicious and was presented perfectly. Sometimes the service wasn't the greatest but I think there were quite a few "newbies".

  The late-night pizza place was a hit if the lineups were any indication. We only got it once and it was good. The after-hours buffet had quite a few choices but again we didn't sample it often as we ate our dinners later than most. I never saw a chicken wing except on the room service menu and one late night after several margaritas we splurged. They were really good! And cheap...$6 I think. Only once did I send a meal back and that was my lobster tail. I'm from the east coast and I know when a lobster needs a few more minutes on the grill. 

  We went to the piano bar, comedy club, sports bar, and the main theater. The shows were very good and I liked that there were several comedians during our 9 days. I spent a bit of time at the art auction but everything I liked was crazy expensive. The outdoor movies were a hit. As were the dance parties. There was always trivia which I love. You could always be doing something if that's how you spend your vacay.

  Ours was a casino deal which is why it was so cheap. I always play the slots on every cruise however even though we have been on two other cruise lines with casinos only Carnival has ever offered me discounts. Interesting considering this deal was offered after we had only traveled with them once. Norwegian we've done 7 or 8 with you and nothing...what's up with that? The deal also included free drinks for both of us while in the casino. Nice perk since the drink package was very, very expensive. I know people complained on other blogs that they rarely got served but we had a totally different experience. We had excellent service and always brought some cash with us to tip which I'm sure helped.

  Like every single cruise we have been on you cannot get a deck chair by the pool.  Too many people stay in the hot tubs for too long drinking too much. You know what some of them are doing in there. Your fellow travelers will push you out of the way, forget their manners, and be rude. There are always kids running around with no regard for anyone else and parents who couldn't care less. A few drunks will misbehave and several couples will have huge fights right in the middle of your enjoyment. With 4K plus in a small space how can it not be a little chaotic?

  Overall the cruise was fantastic. The staff was always wonderful. We never saw our stateroom attendant though the room was always spotless and any midnight snack dishes were removed before we had a chance to put them out. The cruise director MarQ Anthony was so energetic, and fun and always had time to chat. He knew who needed a little nudge to let loose and how to keep the party going. 

  I would give the staff, service, entertainment, food, and cleanliness all a 9 out of 10. We really had few complaints. I wasn't a fan of the Italian theme and thought it looked a little tacky though hubby disagreed on that. The shopping wasn't great but it never is and the constant photographers at dinner were annoying. Those factors dropped it down to an overall 8 out of 10.

  The big question "Was it too cheap to be true" is answered simply with not by a long shot. In fact, had this been a $2500 or even $3000 costing vacation it still would have been great! It was 9 days after all. There are real deals to be had and we got one. 

  Thanks Carnival Venezia! Ciao!

  Ang

  

It Can Always Be Worse

    "There's always something isn't there?" That is my Mom's favorite saying. In fact, I hear her say it every single time I speak to her on the phone. While I don't use it half as much as she uses hers, my go-to is "It could have been worse". That's what I have been saying to others about myself this week in record numbers. If I'm honest many times these past seven days I've murmured it to myself. Cause what happened last week could have been much, much worse!

  The days are getting warmer and the sunshine makes me want to head outside. After fighting a flu/cold for four weeks I was ready to dip my toes in the sunshine and take my velcro dog Cricket for a walk. He was very excited when the harness came out! In hindsight too excited! As I stood on the top step, with my hand on the leash strap, he took off. And so did I. While he managed to stay on all fours I was not so lucky. 

  Long story short, I landed on my knee, twice, then my side on the concrete while he ran at the apparently threatening school bus. I knew I was hurt. Instantly. I couldn't get up by myself but with the help of a few neighbors, I hobbled into my house to ice my expanding knee. And man did it expand! I even had to take my capris off as they were cutting the circulation with the swelling.

  After a long, painful thirty minutes I knew I needed an x-ray and a health care professional to take a peek. It only took five hours to be seen at Urgent Care, and no I am not being sarcastic I was the final patient of the day and very happy to be seen at all, to be told no ligaments were torn. But an x-ray was needed in the morning to check for a fracture. They gave me a "fast pass", yes like at Disney theme parks, for the morning and sent me home.

  I couldn't maneuver the stairs but the sofa was comfy and we left early to get my x-ray. No fracture, nothing torn but an unbelievable amount of swelling and tightness. Trauma the doctor called it. A few meds for pain, a knee brace and cane, and directions to rest as much as possible for a few weeks. See? It could have been much worse!

  That was a week ago. My entire leg is bruised and the knee is still swollen...itchy too and no matter how much I scratch it doesn't stop. Unexpectedly the bruising and swelling have gone down into my ankle and foot. Weird isn't it? Even my toes are bruised! There hasn't been much pain for a few days now. I sleep in my own bed using my handy cane to take the stairs slowly. Walking is easier and I even managed a shower! Hubby however won't leave the house with me. He's scared of what people will say to him and honestly, I can't blame him for that.

  We are so wrapped up in our own worlds, which is perfectly normal, that sometimes we need to remember that things can always be worse. I've been confined to my house and my recliner. How lucky am I to have both? Lots do not. Having to give over the reins to my family...how lucky am I to be loved by people who will do it without complaint! Imagine what my week would have been like in a cast with no one to care for me or an extended hospital stay and surgery. I'm very thankful it wasn't worse.

  Count your blessings people. Life can always be worse. And yes Mom there is always something!

  Ang

  

  

The Blacklist - Thanks - Sort Of

 Anyone who knows me even remotely well can tell you I love James Spader. Alan Shore was one of the greatest characters ever written. Honestly, I never thought I could ever see Mr. Spader act in anything and not see him as Denny Crane's husband on Boston Legal. Ten years ago I was proven wrong. The Blacklist hit the small screen and I was once again in awe of the acting genius that is James Spader. Raymond Reddington was an even better character. Quirks and all!

  The pilot episode started out with Red walking into the FBI building and being surrounded by security, guns drawn, alarms sounding. He was, of course, number one on the FBI Most Wanted list. From that opening scene, we are whisked away on the adventure of a lifetime. I've laughed, cried, covered my ears, and shielded my eyes. Some characters I loved. Others I hated. But each week we met a new "blacklister" and watched Reddington and his FBI task force apprehend the criminals law enforcement didn't know about.

  Jon Bokencamp, the show's creator, is brilliant. He made the most horrible people not just likable but lovable! Teddy, a torturer who uses animals to get information and who tried to get his son into the family business, made criminals talk using violent yet inventive methods. Glen, aka Jellybean, worked at the DMV and could track anyone no matter how hidden they were. He was crude and rude not to mention a fabulous bowler. When Clark Middleton died, the actor who played Glen, the writers penned an episode about his funeral that included Huey Lewis and the Statue of Liberty and introduced us to his mom Paula who was a real hoot!

  After 10 years of watching and rewatching, trying to figure out answers to long-held questions, and wondering who exactly Raymond Reddington was, last night was the series finale. In two hours they were going to answer all my questions and explain what I couldn't figure out. I was excited. I was sad. I was on the edge of my seat. I was ready! 

  What I ended up being, and it hurts me very much to say this, was disappointed. Yup I said it. It wasn't the ending this spectacular show deserved. It certainly wasn't the ending the fans deserved. When the two hours were over I was left with the same questions I've had since the beginning. If anything I had more things I needed answers to. 

  I don't know how the show should have ended. Red alive or dead. The task force in jail or off to find new adventures. But I do know last night's ending was not it. Right up until the final scenes I was on board. I even knew Raymond would die. Maybe an hour three was needed. To tie things up. The reading of his will perhaps or a letter left for Harold Cooper. Perhaps Dembe, played by the fabulous Hisham Tawfiq, could have spilled the secrets he knew. Something. Anything.

  This morning I checked other fan reactions on social media. Apparently I was not alone. I would say for every "great ending" comment I saw there were twenty "disappointing" ones. Blacklist fan groups are hating on it in record numbers. Everyone seems to be thinking the same way...good for Raymond going out on his own terms but bad for those of us wanting answers. Many use the words cheated and robbed. 

  Like many shows before it, Lost springs to mind, we are left without answers to the questions we carried with us from season to season. After ten years to still be in the dark about the show's core "secrets" is one thing but to end it without answering even one of them is wrong. It's disrespectful. And it's what we got.

  Ang 

  

  

No Thank You

 Recently someone asked me if I wanted to do something with them to which I replied "no but thanks for the offer". That should have been the end of it. You asked. I answered. But it wasn't. And that bothered me.

  Why do people feel they deserve an explanation when told no? Isn't no enough? Ummm yeah, it most certainly is. My response would have been different if one of my nearest and dearest had asked. I would have given a reason as I declined though none was necessary. They would understand without being told. Yet somehow someone who I spend very little time with thought it was her right to demand an explanation. Then ask yet again for one when none was provided.

  Would the truthful answer have stopped her questions? I don't think so. The reason I said no was that I just didn't want to. Period. But I have my doubts that to this particular person that would not be a valid reason to refuse. She would be wrong.

  We all wake up some days and want to do nothing. Watch a little tv or read a book. Stay in pj's and bake cookies or eat ice cream out of the container. And that's perfectly okay. Sometimes we change our minds and cancel plans and that's okay too! Our friends will know if we are just having a moment or if we are going into a slide and in need of some help. Then "no thank you" will not be enough for them and they will figure out a way to help or get you to people who can help. Those are your close friends.

  From birth we are hard-wired to ask for explanations. Remember asking your parents if you could go somewhere and they said no? I'd bet money your next question was "why not". I'd bet my life savings that they replied "because I said so". No further conversation was going to happen. You asked. They answered. End of discussion. 

  Does that mean we don't owe an explanation to children but we do to adults? I'd say the total opposite. Explain to your kids the reasons why. Tell them your job is to keep them safe and what they want to do might not be safe. Or that you did that as a child and the results were disastrous. They might learn from your mistakes or at least not fight back quite as hard because you didn't dismiss them. 

  Bottom line...if an explanation isn't offered, don't ask for one. Don't think you know better or that if you cajole me enough I'll change my mind. I won't. What I will do is resent you for not respecting me or my wishes. 

  Ang 

  

Happy Canada Day!!

  Happy Canada Day!!! July 1 is our day to celebrate being the greatest country on earth. We watch concerts, see fireworks, paint our faces, and put flags all over ourselves. It's the one day a year we proudly display our patriotism. For reasons unknown to me, tomorrow those displays are gone and we are back to our quiet self-deprecating ways. So let's enjoy these 24 hours while we can!

  Canada has made the world a better place in so many ways. Think about Frederick Banting who at 32 was the youngest person ever to receive the Noble Peace Prize for medicine. As amazing as that is, his work in the discovery of insulin changed the lives of tens of millions of people worldwide. Pretty impressive.

  Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. James Naismith gave the world basketball. What would the weekend be without Saturday Night Live, the brainchild of Lorne Michaels? Terry Fox and Rick Hansen showed us all that physical challenges could be overcome with mental fortitude and kindness. And how many of you chose Celine Dion singing My Heart Will Go On as your wedding song? You're welcome!

  Margaret Atwood is one of the greatest authors of this century. She and Lucy Maud Montgomery are heralded throughout the world. Ten years before Rosa Parks started a chain of events in the US, Viola Desmond refused to move out of the "white's only" section of a movie theater. And we claim both Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Ryan Reynolds as our own. 

  We lead the world in freshwater and our military is praised for its many peacekeeping missions.  Our politeness and willingness to help others is legendary. Wayne Gretzky, Sidney Crosby, Brooke Henderson and Steve Nash all call Canada home. We have the highest tides in the world, the best view of the northern lights and world-renowned maple syrup.

  Universal healthcare, an old age pension, and the "baby bonus" are all things we can be proud of.  Mr. Dressup and The Friendly Giant entertained the kids while their parents watched This Hour Has 22 Minutes or played Trivial Pursuit. We gave the world the paint roller and garbage bags...imagine life without those! Not to mention peanut butter, the Wonder Bra and the pacemaker.

  Canada is not perfect. We have skeletons in our closets we are deeply ashamed of. Our historic, and more recent, treatment of Indigenous people is horrific. We need to overhaul both the healthcare and education systems. There is a lot of work to do with this fentanyl crisis and kids dying by their own hands. But...

  I still believe for all our faults we live in the greatest country on earth! Happy Canada Day to us!!

  Ang

  

Prince William & Homeward UK

  Prince William is a founder, supporter, and benefactor of a British charity known as Homewards UK. This noble group is trying to end homelessness in the UK. Their goal is "Demonstrating that together we can end homelessness - making it rare, brief and unrepeated." How is that for an objective! Yesterday the Prince of Wales pledged 3 million pounds from his foundation to get things rolling. Of course, naysayers are attacking him as throwing money at the problem leaving someone else to do the actual work. Those comments infuriated me.

  People being "unhoused" is a problem all of us have to help with. Even those with lots of money like William. We can't attack someone who wants to be part of the solution. In this case, the POW can bring attention to the cause in a way most others cannot. He will spotlight needs and solutions as the press covers his every move. And come on 3 million pounds is nothing to sneeze at!

  It used to bother me when Leonardo DiCaprio lectured us on environmental issues as he arrived on a private jet and commuted in a big SUV. Or Angelina Jolie talking about poverty in her designer clothes and expensive jewelry. I always wondered if they saw the hypocrisy in their words compared to their actions. Whether they do or not is irrelevant. They bring attention to the cause. Much-needed conversations take place because they showed up. Prince William is in that same category. And for the record, these things don't bother me quite so much anymore.

  So many of us, myself included, sit back and do nothing about the issues we say we care so much about. Or we send a one-time donation. Then we sit back in our moral superiority and judge other people's actions. When in reality we should be getting off our asses and doing something about it. Voting for those who agree with us on issues, emailing our representatives, giving our time to said causes, and donating when and what we can are all positive steps.

  Homelessness is a human problem. It's our brothers and sisters. Our school friends and military veterans fall victim to it. The mentally ill and the abused suffer most often. It's the educated and uneducated. Children are affected too. If we really care that much we all need to follow William's lead or stop judging him. 

  Keep showing up Prince William! Make your Grandma proud!

  Ang

  

  

  

Baby Boom

  Mr. Al Pacino and his girlfriend Noor are having a baby! Isn't that wonderful news? A baby should always be celebrated, especially when it will be in a home filled with love. Like his friend Robert DeNiro, who welcomed his 7th child a few weeks back, Al is a little bit older than the average new father. The "average" age of fathers is 30 years and 9 months. Both of the men mentioned above have that number beaten by almost 50 years!

  These babies are by no means the men's first child. DeNiro has five adult children and a tween...not to mention grandkids. Pacino has 3, all twenty-plus. And both men are with significantly younger women. Mr. DeNiro is 79 and his "rumored" girlfriend is estimated to be 45 or 46. Al Pacino is 83 while his latest baby momma is 29. I ask the age-old question...what do they have in common?

  These highly successful actors have the financial means to look after their newborns forever. Children are expensive so their millions will come in handy. But raising kids isn't only about money. It's about time. Guidance. Kissing cuts. Reading bedtime stories. Soccer games and dance recitals. Giggles, nightmares, and snotty noses. And the harsh reality is these men have a very real possibility of dying sooner rather than later. Al Pacino will be 101 when his child graduates high school. DeNiro 97. Doesn't seem realistic to me that they will be around to see that walk across the stage.

  I wrote earlier that all babies should be celebrated and I meant it. However, I believe these men are irresponsible and vain. These infants will read about their dads and watch their movies not sit and color with them or go on play dates to the park. They are robbing these children of their most precious resource...time with their father. They both should know better and do better.

  Is that ageist? Maybe. Women get criticized for having babies in their forties. We hear that we are too old for late-night feedings and diaper rash. And that's at 45! Imagine what we would hear in our 70's! Oh wait most women are terrified of the thought of a baby in their late 40's let alone in their geriatric years.

  Bottom line is no one would think this was wonderful if it was Grandpa Bob who was retired from the gas company. Or octogenarian Al who was a middle manager at the local grocery store. Creepy would be more like it. This is okay only because they are celebrities. We give them all a pass because of how they earn their fortunes. That's on us.

  Remember just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  Ang