Email Rage

  Thanks to email, i messages and texting, we can instantly tell people where we are, what we are doing and what we think. For good or for bad. Once you hit that send button....you can't take it back.

  Every message can be taken the wrong way. We can take every "fat-finger typo" as a slight. When you can't hear the speaker's tone it's easy to do. And even a simple CAPITAL LETTER can be construed as anger. 

  If you think someone is going to be upset or angered by a comment, you will be able to read that into their response. Quite easily too. No matter what the words are, we will make them into whatever we expect. We are all guilty.

  Take a few breathes before you hit send on that nasty email or text. Consider the fact that you can never take back those words. Read it again and imagine how your friend, parent, coworker or spouse will interpret your words.

  Nothing is ever truly gone from the internet....except the time you spend on it!

  Ang

  

18 Month Parental Leave

  Feminism is a dirty word in some circles. Even the definition of what a feminist is depends on who you ask. For me it's about everyone having the same rights....female or male and having choices. Having children really shouldn't give us advantages over others. Especially those men and women without children.

  The Federal government is talking about extending parental leave from 12 months to a grand total of 18 months....three of which is maternity and only applies to the mother. So any father can take the remaining 9 months or split it with the mom in any combination. Or take none at all. Choices. 

  One entire year, or even nine months, away from your job is tough. For the employer, your co-workers and the person who takes over your position. Extending it to eighteen months, while good in theory, doesn't seem fair to me. Of course the infant benefits and you can't put a price on that or the time you get to spend with your child. But everyone else pays a price.

  Your employer has to hire someone to take your place no matter what job you have. The new person must be trained which comes at a cost. Or they distribute your work among the other employees. That could mean over-time and work suffering, not to mention disgruntled and unhappy workers. Then you come back and your job, and seniority, is waiting for you. Some people may not like that either.

  The simple fact is most men don't, and won't, take parental leave. Women benefit from it much more often. Extending it would give us an even bigger advantage. While we champion our country for supporting us, would we be so proud if it was an advantage to men? I don't think so.

  And what about those women who don't have kids? I've written about that before to some heated responses. I'll leave that alone.

   I chose to stay home with my kids. My husband chose to take parental leave...twice. We are lucky to be a family that can make those choices. Not everyone is so lucky. But if I was an employer I would not be happy about a year let alone eighteen months. Especially when it could happen again and again and again. With every single employee I have.

  Feminism means equality. And sometimes equality doesn't seem fair.

  Ang
  

  

I'm Old

  It's the end of an era for me today. The care free days of my youth are gone. How do I know those happy-go-lucky days are behind me? Two words....progressive lenses. 

  Yup bi-focals. Old lady glasses. The eye wear equivalent of closed-toed shoes with no heel. Or Mom jeans. Bathing suits with a skirt. You know what I'm talking about. Those subtle signs we are getting older.

  Adding insult to injury, the woman who helped me pick out the perfect pair was all of 12! Ok maybe 20 but not a day more. She explained all about the differences and how quickly I will adapt to them. But the entire time I kept looking at her and thinking she is a good thirty years away from needing them. And hating her just a little.

  I'm not too worried about getting older. I've lived with the grey hair for years now. I've had too many friends not make it to the "golden years" that I'm grateful for every day. Just every once in a while you realize that things are changing. Faster than we all would like.

  You don't have to look any farther than your kids to know that time is moving quickly. Just the other day Alex was looking up at me with his big blue eyes, asking me for a hug and Riley wanted someone to put him to bed and sing him a lullaby. Fast forward a few years and Alex rests his chin on the top of my head when he hugs me and Riley puts himself to bed. Blink and they are moving out.

  I'm going to enjoy these last few days in my old glasses. Hell I may even wear a pair of high heels! Living dangerously my friends.

  God I hope I don't fall and break a hip!

  Ang

Wifi Free

   We've been having some wi-fi issues over the past few days so I've been pretty quiet on the writing front. So much has happened in that time I'm not sure where to begin.

  On Easter Sunday, the holiest of holy days if you are a Christian, a man drove though downtown Cleveland and shot an innocent man. Sadly this isn't an unheard of event but what made this even more horrific...the murderer live streamed it to Facebook. The victim, Robert Goodwin Sr., was victimized yet again by thousands of people watching his death. That I find almost worse.

  Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have officially filed for divorce. But like the adults they appear to be, they filed without lawyers so nothing about their settlements will be public. That protects their children. Brilliant. They have a history of putting their kids first...they vacation as a family, spend holidays together. You know like adults should behave when they have children but no longer want to be a couple. Kudos to them both for being great parents.

  United Airlines is in the midst of a public relations nightmare. After the media got the film of how a passenger was treated on an over booked flight they knew there would be a backlash. Then the President made a public "apology" that was more of a "blame the victim" statement then anything resembling an "I'm sorry".  It took a plummeting stock price to make them finally take responsibility. Dr. Dao will undoubtedly be a very rich man, in the very near future.

  Saturday Night Live brought Melissa McCarthy back as Sean Spicer. Some people were shocked at the skit. Others thought it brilliant. Lorne Michaels owes Donald Trump a very expensive meatloaf dinner and a bottle of scotch. SNL hasn't enjoyed this level of popularity since the 80's. 

  These are just a few things that caught my eye over the past week. It's been eventful I'll give ya that!

  Ang

  

What in the World is Going On?

  The world is becoming a very scary place, very quickly. Between Trump's knee-jerk tweets that inflame, even more, a bad situation, to North Korea's reaction to said tweets.....I feel as if we are on a precipice. And we aren't going to survive the fall.

  I'm not sure when it happened, but the United States President seems to believe they decide what countries have nuclear capabilities and who does not. I am in NO way saying I want North Korea to have these bombs. I don't want anyone to. But his posturing could have explosive reactions...pun intended.

  There is a complete lack of diplomacy at the moment. Trump seems to have no clue that Kim Yong Un isn't scared of him and that those "in your face" tweets are like a stick poking into an open wound. He is trying to show his strength and all it's done is made a dictator show his. 

  Is Trump worried? Not if you see the pics of him golfing while every news channel is talking about nuclear arsenals and whether a missile could make land in the United States from the other side of the world. He seems unflustered. Relaxed even. As if this is something to relook at on Tuesday morning....when his office re-opens for business.

  Hold your loved ones near this Easter weekend. Enjoy the time together. Who knows what state the world will be in this time next week.

  Have the extra piece of pie and glass of wine.....just in case.

  Ang
  

  

Sean Spicer

  I'm not a Sean Spicer fan. Honestly, I almost feel bad for the guy. Talk about the worst job for a spokesperson. No consistent policies, a boss who speaks without thinking, having to defend lies on a daily basis. I imagine when his alarm goes off every morning he swears....a lot!

  Now I'm not saying he isn't his own worst enemy because I think he is....after his boss of course but I thought that was self-explanatory. But I truly do not believe his words about Hitler, gas and the Holocaust weren't malicious. They were bizarre and wrong, ill-chosen of course but not intentionally offensive. I think we all know that.

  Did Mr. Spicer mean gas chamber when he said Holocaust center? Of course he did. Was he trying to clarify his statements but only dug a deeper hole for himself? Watch the tapes it's pretty clear. It looks like he got rattled and was speaking without thinking his entire thought through. He's not really an off-the-cuff guy. Which makes you wonder about his career choices.

  Look we have all said things in the wrong way. People have accused me of meaning one thing when I meant the total opposite...based solely on the way I made my point. No one is perfect. And certainly when we get off stride sometimes we say inappropriate things we don't really mean.

  Two pieces of advice Sean....no matter what mess you've landed in don't worry, the public has a short memory. After all, that's how your boss got his job.......and two... buy some new ties!

  Ang

Violence

  John always shakes his head at me when I cover my eyes or turn my face away from violence on tv or in movies. I just can't seem to watch even though I know it's fake. The reason he laughs is I can watch if it's The Blacklist....my Spader obsession again. 

  The extreme violence of tv today is disturbing. It's more graphic and extremely realistic. They leave nothing to the imagination. Nothing. I'm a huge fan of Colony....very violent. I stopped watching Criminal Minds, The Following and many others all for the same reason. I've never watched Game of Thrones, The Sopranos or Sons of Anarchy. Violence. Graphic violence. It's too much.

  I watch tv as a distraction. A way to escape reality for a few hours before sleep. I don't think seeing someone's brain strewn across the room helps me get a restful nights sleep! Real or not. 

  Maybe that's why British shows appeal to me so much. Violence, most of the time, is off screen. It's a gun shot or a scream out of sight. It is left to the imagination. Just like a book. 

  We worry about what exposing our kids to violence does to them. We should be just as worried what it does to ourselves. And most importantly, the way we perceive actual violence in the world around us.

  I'm willing to give up most shows based on the amount of violence.....except The Blacklist. You know I love me some Spader!

  Ang 

  

Words

  Last week Marco Rubio, a U.S. politician, said something I took great offense to. He said, and I quote..."We can't solve the world's problems, but there are very few problems in the world that can be solved without America." 

  The arrogance is what got me angry. As if the rest of the world can't do anything without the almighty United States involvement. That's the impression he gave. Whether he meant to or not. And it's not as if the U.S. has the greatest of reputations at the moment.

  When you say things like that the world reacts. Some good some bad. But countries, people and various groups use these words to incite hate towards you. They take your arrogance and use it against you. Consequences.

  What I think bothered me the most is the fact that the U.S. picks and chooses who and what are important. We can all agree that children being gassed in Syria are important. Don't make it sound as if you are the only country doing anything because you bombed an airfield. Many others are on the ground giving humanitarian aid and trying to lessen the hardship these people are going through. And if these children are important why aren't all the children in refugee camps as important?

  Politicians make policy. They try to, and in some cases do, make a difference. The world is listening Mr. Rubio. You cannot take back your words once spoken.

  When you speak without thinking about the implications, you can do more harm than good. 

  Ang
  

Olympic Hockey Controversy

  The NHL Commissioners have decided that they will not alter the schedule next year to accommodate the players wanting to play in the Olympics. It has caused quite the uproar in hockey circles. Including our house.

  Canada is known as a hockey powerhouse. We have an unparalleled reputation in the sport. No one, and I mean no one, comes close to the level of success we enjoy on the world stage of hockey. Almost every single Canadian knows the significance of 1972. It was a defining moment for us as a country. 

  While I can't say I normally speak for all of Canada, this one time I will. We want our homegrown NHL players representing us. Our team should be sporting jerseys that say Crosby, McDavid and Price. Not to mention Subban, Letang and Toews. But it's not looking as if we will get our wish. Or will we?

  The players were not consulted. That is troubling because the consensus seems to be they would want to play. I've heard many say it's different representing your country. And the Olympics are the most prestigious of all. So why can't they play?

  Already Alex Ovechkin, a Russian, has said he is going. Regardless. He wants to represent his country on the national stage and has asked his bosses for permission and which they have given. So he is off but I wonder what happens when the next player on his team asks. Will the response be the same? And what if the team isn't performing well and is struggling to make the playoffs? Does the permission get rescinded? 

  Like everything else in the world, it seems to be about money. The Olympic committee gets these first class, highly paid athletes.....for free! And they bring in the viewers. Not to mention the ad revenue for the channels that show the games. 

  What about the NHL owners. What do they get out of it? Well when Ovechkin goes he is still being paid by the Washington Capitols. And he gets paid a lot! What if he gets hurt and can't play for an extended period of time? How is the team compensated for that? When the team doesn't make the playoffs because he is hurt what then? I don't see how the owners get anything out of the bargain. If I was them I would be thrilled with this ruling.

  But I'm not an owner. I'm a fan. We want another "golden goal". A chance, as a country, to stand together, proud in the knowledge that we are the best. 

  Is that too much to ask?

  Ang

  

Hope

  This world we live in is tough. It throws some difficult things at us. Every day there is something that tests our sense of humanity. Gas attacks in Syria that are killing innocent children. Bombings at a subway platform in Russia. 911 operators deciding which jurisdiction a texting and driving is in, meanwhile, the same driver crashes into a bus killing 13 people. Even amongst all of this...we have hope.

   Hope must be in our genetic makeup. It has to be. During times of war and crisis, people get up every morning and create lives for themselves. They have children, fall in love, make plans. They laugh and smile even when there is devastation all around them. Survival makes you take whatever joy you can and embrace it. Cherish it even.

  My favorite quote used to be... "It will be alright in the end. If it's not alright then it's not the end." The sad truth is some things can never be "alright". Accepting that hard truth can lead the way to hope. Even when the only hope we can muster is that we will learn from past tragedies. 

  "You woke up breathing for a reason." That is my new mantra. I say it to the kids all the time and if you've ever seen my Facebook well you know I haul it out often. To me, it is positive, supportive and humbling. Not to mention empowering. It is purpose, empathy and love all rolled up into one. 

  It is......hope.

  Ang

***I stole the "breathing" quote from the fabulous actor Hisham Tawfiq who starts every day on Twitter with that statement. He was a marine and a firefighter. He knows there is a reason!***

  

  
  

Advertisers....Listen Up!

  Did you ever notice that no one who is even the slightest bit overweight goes on vacation? Not to an all inclusive, or on a cruise. Not to Europe or Las Vegas. 

  Those same folks don't shop at Old Navy, The Bay or Chanel. They don't spend their hard earned dollars at Michael Kors or Target. And they most certainly aren't buying those super cute leggings from Kate Hudson's online store.

  Montana's, McDonald's and every steak house known to man doesn't get a dime from those people either. Neither does any grocery or specialty food store.

  The overweight must all take public transit because they don't buy cars, motorcycles or regular old bicycles. They don't fly or take the train. They never, ever buy a boat.

  They don't go camping, buy magazines or newspapers or go to pharmacies. They aren't at the movies, concerts or at live theater. Not at bars, dance clubs or karaoke either. And they absolutely never go into a gym.

  Where the hell are all these people???? And when did every single woman gets D cups and dark eyebrows? And every man a six pack, no body hair and European style tight pants?

  Advertisers, no matter what the product, do not show real people in their advertising. Everyone is in peak physical condition. With clear skin, no cellulite and a full head of hair. They wear heels and carry ten bags at once all while showing their perfect, super white smile.

  Why are overweight people not represented?  Do advertisers truly think we are buying their car based on the sexy woman lying across the hood and not the safety rating or the fuel mileage?  Are we so gullible as to shop at a store or eat at a restaurant and believe we are going to become that buff man or popular woman?  The sad fact is...some people will believe it. That says a lot about them, their self-esteem and confidence. 

  Most of us know that we are who we are. Not perfection. Just perfect versions of ourselves. Advertisers should realize this or we should stop giving them our cash.

  Ang

John the Reno Guy

  I've always had a problem talking about John. Not because he is difficult to talk about but because people think I'm bragging.....even when I'm not. And when it comes to house repairs and renos, some of my friends get a little jealous when I speak about the things he is doing. But today I have to give him a shout out. A big one!

  When we took possession of this house eight years ago April 1, we truly thought it was an April Fool's joke. Wallpaper on the ceiling. A kitchen that was vintage 1982 and not in a good way like say a 30-year-old Chanel couture dress! Orange carpet in the basement and four bathrooms all in need of major overhauls. We started improvements from day one. Then the flood happened.

  I'm not going to relive that nightmare. It was a learning process, I'll leave it at that. But what ensued.....the landscaping to ensure drainage and the new weeping tile system....was more disheartening than helpful. What was supposed to "100% fix" the water issue did not. Which brings me to the present day.....

  After much research, John started the french drain a few weeks back. For those of you who don't know, that's basically an indoor weeping tile system. It's a long process in the dead of winter. Between the jackhammering to remove the concrete, digging the trenches, laying the pipe and covering it with gravel, it's a huge undertaking. Now we are almost finished the end stage...concrete.

  All of this work is labor intensive. The bags of gravel and concrete....the ground is too soft to get either large truck into the backyard....are heavy and well a basement means stairs. But he perseveres without comment, just the occasional shake of his head. Try as I might, there is only so much I can do to help but the boys and I did a lot of the "grunt" work as John calls it.

  Today is the final day of concrete. The bathroom is plumbed in and ready to be started. While the cement "sets" he will draw up a design plan for the entire basement and begin wiring, insulating and building walls. I've learned to let him do whatever he thinks best as he hasn't been wrong yet.

  Thank you John! Thank you for working so hard for us. Thank you for showing the boys that hard work really does pay off. Thank you for knowing what we need and for giving us what we want all in the same package. Thank you for consulting me and knowing that what I say and what I mean aren't always the same thing.

  Most importantly....thank you...for saving us tens of thousands of dollars! And then talking about a pool :)

  Ang