The Porn Star vs The Dr.

  I asked John one day not that long ago why Stormy Daniels was always referred to as a porn star. Every news commentator on every channel said the same words over and over again to describe her. Porn star Stormy Daniels. Stormy Daniels the porn star. As if that was all she was in life.

  Ms. Daniels was treated as if being a porn star, not illegal by the way, was the absolute lowest form of employment known to humankind. It is not. There are many jobs much worse in my humble opinion. But because she has a career that many find questionable she is treated in a certain way. At times that meant she was treated with disrespect and disdain. With rudeness and a lack of civility. Her words were dismissed. Her honesty questioned.

  Fast forward to these past few days and you see the treatment Dr. Ford has been getting. She has been treated with the utmost respect and dignity by everyone. Politicians, including Republicans, news people, 
and even the White House are watching their P's and Q's for the most part. She is consistently called credible. 

  Now one is a porn star. One has a doctorate. Should that make one more credible than the other? No. Does it? To many yes. That makes me sad because I'm assuming more women in the lower tax bracket and education ladder have to deal with people questioning their words than their counterpart. So why are folks more apt to believe the "good" woman? Is it because they think she doesn't deserve what happened but the "bad girl" does?

  Unlike Ms. Ford, Stormy Daniels is not saying she was sexually abused by Trump or anyone else. But her treatment in the press, and by Trump and his "people", is abuse plain and simple. And that treatment will mean that others will not come forward. Who could blame them? To be called a liar, a low life, and worse? Nope, it makes perfect sense why they wouldn't want to be revictimized. 

  One final thought on this topic and it is aimed directly at any and all women reading this. Stop asking why did she wait. Stop asking where the witnesses are. Stop asking why she didn't just move on. Stop trying to minimize her fears. Stop. Just stop. Instead.....try lifting her up. Try understanding. Try compassion. Try imagining yourself as a victim. Try. Just try.

  And if you can't....shut the hell up and make room for someone who can.

  Ang

  

  

  

I'm Tired

  I'm tired. Of hearing the same things about the same people over and over and over again. It's not as if there isn't enough news going on in the world. We don't need to hear about the same handful of folks day in and day out. Let's expand our horizons a little.

  Meghan Markle annoys the crap out of me. This time last year she was a semi-successful actress and now she is a Duchess who is news fodder every day. We hear about her not wearing hose, as if it's headline news. Then it's her hair and how a messy bun is her standing up to the Queen. Enough already. I'm sick of hearing is she or isn't she pregnant. The "American Princess" is famous for doing nothing except marrying well.

  Michael Avenatti is another person I could do with hearing less about. He is everywhere talking about Trump and how he is going to be the one to depose him and bring him to his knees. Enough already. Hints and innuendos are old news. Either show what you got or go away. Now he is representing another Kavanaugh victim. Maybe. He has yet to bring her forward and the clock is ticking on that front so what is the hold-up? Oh wait it's build-up for...drum roll please...his 2020 Presidential run! Give me a break. And a tylenol.

  Marijuana is a topic I've had enough of as well. Whether you are for or against its legalization it's happening and soon. Stock analysts here seem to talk about little else and the volatility of the major company's stock price. I worry about my kids and the effects it has on young brains. But since I'm making a small fortune on its stock I guess that makes me a hypocrite. A title I can live with I assure you.
  
  NAFTA. Those letters make headlines every day. Mostly in the fact that Canada isn't being fair, if you watch U.S. news and Canada is standing firm if you watch CBC. Either way, let the negotiators do their job and come up with something that is fair for both sides. Christina Freeland is trying to negotiate with a flip-flopper. Leave her alone cause that cannot be easy. 

  And last, but certainly not least, the big guy himself Trump. I want one day. Just one day where he doesn't say or do something that makes Chris Cuomo roll his eyes or me swear at the tv set. A mere twenty-four hours without insanity coming from his lips. Though after the reception he got at the UN yesterday today will not be that day.

  We are living in a bubble. One of our own creation. And if we aren't careful we might not survive when it pops.

  Ang

  

We Aren't In Kansas Toto!

  On Friday we had a tornado! In Ottawa! In September! That has never happened before in recorded history. But we didn't have just one. We had three. And though this isn't like a Kansas tornado, the damage was extensive but luckily no one died.

  We were sitting here with friends talking and laughing. Not really paying attention to the weather outside. Yes we had turned a lamp on but it's fall and it gets darker earlier. Apparently, the fact that it was only 5 pm didn't click with us. That I blame on the wine. Every computer, smartphone, and tv in the house started sending out alerts for possible tornados. We all silenced them and returned to our socializing.

  The wind blew. The sky got very black. Then the wind subsided and we could see traces of blue in the distance. We contemplated bbqing but it was raining on and off. Then we proceeded to spend the rest of the evening reminiscing and laughing. Not realizing what was happening just a twenty-minute drive away.

  Saturday morning was a real shock for us all. There was damage and lots of it. Over a hundred thousand people had lost power. Roads were closed. Houses destroyed. Our house? We had three leaves in the pool. 

  Then the real miracle began. People, ordinary people, started helping their neighbors. They brought hot food and checked on the elderly. Blankets, clothes, diapers, shoes...you name it, it was distributed. They cleared branches and moved debris. Homes were opened up for showers and a place to put your feet up. Ottawa showed it's true colors.

  There is a lot of work to be done. Right now there are thirty homes that will need to be demolished. Another twenty they are assessing because of extensive damage and one hundred with some form of damage that will need to be repaired. Too many trees down to count. Crews are working hard and every day progress is made.

  A huge thank you must be said to all the first responders!! Police, firefighters, EMT's. And there are no words to express the entire city's thanks to the Hydro One crews who worked 24/7 restoring power. They had a tough job and did it well. 

  One final thing....we spend a lot of time complaining about social media and how awful it can be. These past few days our Mayor showed everyone how it can be used in times of crisis to relay correct information in the fastest way possible. To keep people safe and informed with updates and to distribute help to those that need it most. So thanks Mayor Watson for all the information!

  The next time my phone says there is an emergency I will listen. And do whatever it tells me to do!

  Ang   

I'm Done Parenting For The Day

  The next parent who tells me how wonderful their children are ALL the time...be prepared cause you are not going to like my response. 

  The next grandparent who has a selective memory and says their children were never misbehaved, rude or lazy and that their grandchildren most certainly are not....again be prepared.

  The next childless person who gives me parenting advice to better control my kids and how I went wrong as a parent......do I really have to say it?

  The next "reason with them about proper behavior" lecture I get....are you seeing the trend here?

  Maybe it's an off day, or week, or month but I have had it with parenting. I'm tired of repeating myself five times and still no one has heard a word I've said or done one thing I've asked! Then when I'm ranting like a lunatic they finally hear me and ask why I'm freaking out!!!

  Are my kids the only ones who don't know where the garbage can is? Or the hamper? Was I supposed to teach them 1000 times instead of 999 to wipe the toothpaste off the sink? What about loading the dishwasher or putting clothes away? Someone needs to tell me exactly how many times I'm supposed to teach them those basic life skills because apparently I haven't quite gotten to that magic number yet.

  Yes, I'm frustrated. Yes, I'm angry. And yes I am somewhat disappointed with myself for getting to this point. But parenting is a daily struggle of balancing expectations and reality. Seeing success amongst the failure. Knowing that tomorrow will be better. Or worse. That doing your best is all you can do.

  But if one of you feels the need to give me any advice on any of the above.....not tonight. You've been warned!

  Ang

  

Sins of the Husband

  I'd bet money that Brett Kavanaugh's wife is wishing her hubby had said no when asked to be the supreme court nominee. Whether he is guilty or innocent is no longer relevant for those around him. She is embarrassed. Her kids are too. While she will defend him to the ends of the earth publically, I would think she no longer thinks of this whole process as a career boost.

  Maybe she can hang out with Julie Chen.....excuse me Moonves now. After all this is over they can have coffee laced with whiskey and commiserate on how they paid for accusations against their husbands. It's looking as if Mrs. Moonves will be leaving her day job as a talk show host because of her Mr.'s deeds. A show she has anchored since it's inception.

  So why are these women paying a steep price because of their husbands? Why can't Julie Chen go back to The Talk and do just that...talk. Would she be any less relatable because of this? Or is what Joy Behar said really the hard truth...what can she ever talk about without it coming back to her husband's allegations?  Ashley Kavanaugh has had a great career as well. Does she just abandon any hopes of advancement in the future because of this?

  The short answer is public figures sins are paid for by their families as well as themselves. Period. And when it comes to allegations of sexual abuse today everyone pays and quickly. Both of these women will be asked why they stayed and how they can ever explain to their daughters the whole situation. It's not fair, their marriages are their own private business. But Hilary Clinton has paid for standing beside her husband for years. Whether anyone wants to admit it or not.

  But these two innocent women aren't the only ones paying big prices. So are the accusers. Never wonder why some women wait years before speaking out on abuse. They are dragged through the mud and their entire lives are opened up to scrutiny. Who can blame them for wanting to keep their trauma private when they know exactly what is going to happen to them. Assaulted again.

  It's time for men to understand this behavior isn't acceptable, whether you are in the entertainment business or the bar business. Women need to be heard and believed not shamed and ridiculed. And the spouses of these men should be left alone to deal with their marital issues in private.

  Kavanaugh and Moonves are in the news and having their lives gone through with a fine-toothed comb. So are there victims. Which begs the question....why hasn't anything been done when Trump has not one, not two, not three accusers but 17???

   Ang

Curtains To What???

    When we moved into this house nine and a half years ago one of the first things I wanted to do was take down the ugly, don't work properly blinds from the patio door in the family room. Last week I finally got around to it! Casually I asked John to fill in the holes left because the new curtains were not going to be in the same spots. That was the start of a tsunami.

  While waiting for the mud to dry, he asked about painting the room. The mud, of course, was going to stick out against the tan walls. That sounded like a great idea so of course I agreed. Maybe I'll change out the last of that baseboard while I'm at it was the next comment from his lips. Remember all I wanted was new drapes.

  The next day while John was at work I removed the baseboards in preparation of painting. All the furniture was moved out or to the middle of the room. While I was cooking supper and he was catching up on the events of the day, John said the wires from the tv were driving him nuts and since the mud was out anyway he should finally put them behind the wall out of sight. 

  Before we went to bed, a mere four hours later, a plan was hatched. One I had no idea would be put into motion by new curtains. Especially with the basement supposedly on the fall agenda for renos. But life in our house is never as we plan.

  As I sit at the island watching him work, let me tell you John's new and improved family room extravaganza. First, the ugly, woodburning fireplace is gone! Completely gone. This in itself brings me more joy than I can convey to you. Soon there will be a beautiful new fireplace on the same wall surrounded by a natural stone finish! Can you picture it already??

  Not to be outdone, the walls on either side will have built-in cabinets and shelves, with lights under each one. Staggered on a beautiful barn board wall to complement the fireplace stone! All of this came out of the beautiful brain of my hubby. With a little help from Pintrest.

  Let me say again...I was only looking for curtains! Not one of the extras came from me. I may have been hoping his mind went in that direction but I certainly never would have suggested any of them. At least not right now. After the basement is finished perhaps but not this week.

  I can't wait to see the finished product. As a bit of a perfectionist, John does sensational work. He enjoys building and making our home a place we all want to hang out at. Soon that is exactly what we will be doing!

  And isn't that what a family room is supposed to be?

  Ang

Taxes Taxes and More Taxes...and Interest

  Like most Canadians, I assume, we file our taxes every spring....on time. Since John retired we always owe some extra tax money. When the taxes are filed we immediately pay them. Immediately. Same day. Same hour. Almost the same minute. Apparently, that isn't good enough for Revenue Canada.

  We have received notification that some interest is due. Interest? Isn't that what you pay when you owe money? Our balance is zero. It must be a mistake. Not according to them it isn't. They want us to pay installments on the projected or estimated amount that we are going to owe. Four times a year they want a lump sum payment from us. On taxes we don't yet owe. The outstanding balance we have at the moment is based on not making those payments. Am I making this clear? Interest on money not yet owed.

  This is insanity! Now perhaps if we were always delinquent filing on the taxes or late with the payment maybe I could see their point. But we are neither. So why should we be forced to make payments on money we do not yet owe or even more bizarre pay interest on said unmade payments? We didn't ask for the payment plan nor agreed to it or how much it could/should/would be! This was all from them. Remember we ALWAYS pay the amount owed in full.

  What the CRA doesn't seem to understand or care about is that when filing my returns every year I get a refund. And it's always 75-90% of what John owes. I file first, well before they are due, receive my refund and then use that to pay John's. With a little help from our savings. They are asking for money we do not have extra right now but do have in the spring. WTH??!!

  It's a losing battle with CRA I know. We will pay up and shut up as most of us do when it comes to this branch of the government. The fear of an audit keeps us in line I suppose. Part of living in a country is paying taxes and I really do enjoy all the things we receive from those funds however I would just like to owe it before I pay it.

  Hmm, I wonder how PM Minister Brian Mulroney got out of paying taxes on that $250K cash he put in his safe and never claimed? Think he would take my phone call?

  Ang
  

Ramblings

   A week ago after enjoying the peace and quiet that comes with back-to-school, I sat down to give this little blog of mine my full attention. Filled with ideas, opinions and curiosity I was raring to go. With a full cup of coffee and a comfortable chair I open the laptop and it's.....dead. As the proverbial door-nail.

   One quick trip to a "nerd", not meant as any kind of insult I assure you, and the words I was dreading. The battery is dead and it's hard wired to the motherboard so it won't work plugged in either. Then the final nail in the coffin...it will cost upwards of $500 and three weeks to fix! Ugh. All of my enthusiasm gone.

  So now I have confiscated Riley's chromebook today to try and catch up. Lots has happened over the past week that I have been dying to talk about. Here we go.....

  Serena Williams, I'm not sure if she is a tyrant or a victim or a women's equality fighter, but I do know she has stolen away the spotlight from the actual U.S. Women's Open Naomi Osaka. By all accounts she was winning the match and at the time of the incident Ms. Williams was in no way making a come back. But she will be forever remembered as part of the incident and not for the huge accomplishment she made.

  Doug Ford is invoking a Not Withstanding clause in the constitution to bypass a court ruling he doesn't like. It seems petty on his part as it has to do with the size of city council in Toronto where his brother was the Mayor before his death. No matter what the reason I'm leery of anyone having the power to overrule something when it's gone through all the proper channels. It smells a little of a dictatorship.

  Donald Trump did thumbs up and fist pumping at a September 11 memorial ceremony. Why this surprises folks is beyond me. He has no idea how to behave in most situations. Then proceeded to explain how the storm relief in Puerto Rico was a huge success...remember almost 3000 people died as the result of Hurricane Maria! That is a success?? Not by my standards thank you very much. Every single day he says or does something that is offensive, rude and wrong. Why am I still shocked on a daily basis I wonder?

  It's been seventeen years since the attack in NYC and boy has the world changed a lot since then. This year the services were not as elaborate. As time goes by I suppose they will become less and less common. Life moves on and while we still remember what happened it dulls in our memory. That's the way of the world I suppose.

  It's time for me to move on with my day. I'm sure many more things will catch my attention. Hopefully one of them will be a new computer!

  Ang

Reruns

   My kids make fun of me because I like watching the same movies over and over and over again. I've lost count the number of times I've watched Lord Of The Rings or The Hobbit. I've hit double digits in views of Kong Skull Island and every Planet of the Apes. There is something comforting to me about relaxing with any one of my favorites playing in the background. Is this really so strange?

  I've got the same viewing habits on tv or Netflix. If I like a series I can watch it several times before I lose interest. Then if I wait a few months I can go back and start at the beginning again. John's frequent comment is "Didn't we just watch this?" 

  In my own defense, I don't sit down and watch these shows and movies in full. They are playing in the background as I cook or do laundry. When I wash the floor or surf the internet I catch a few minutes here and there. Since I've seen it before I don't need to pay too close attention. 

  There aren't enough hours in the day for me to sit down and properly watch a show. We are a busy house and there is always something that needs to be done. A momentary distraction or a minute to rest is easiest when I don't have to focus too hard. 

  Besides I enjoy Loki, Bilbo Baggins, Sherlock and Lady Mary. Watching Dembe, Lady Felicia, Katniss and Harry Potter bring a smile to my face. Sophia Petrillo, Peter Quill, and Agador Spartacus make me laugh out loud...every single time. 

  Just like your favorite book, a great show can be enjoyed time and again. No matter how much your kids tease you about it. Or how many times your hubby complains. 

  Now where is that Infinity War DVD?

  Ang