Shhh I'm Listening

   As parents we are all aware that times can get tough. Really tough. Most of us associate those hard times with puberty. We are all wrong. I have learned the hardest part of parenting this week. They don't listen. They hear you but they don't listen. And there is nothing we can do about it.

  This past week has been a real eye opener for me. I decided to do an experiment with Alex. He had taken something home and put it in the living room on Friday. As in Friday 10 days days ago. Every day I reminded him it was there. Then asked him to put it away. Another gentle reminder it was there. Then a yell or two about said item in the room.

  Nothing. For ten days. Nothing. Every day a lesson in futility when it came to the bag. Gentle reminders became pick up the damn bag. To his credit, when I reminded/yelled he did head into the living room. Sometimes he played the piano. Others he flopped on the couch and ate. But the bag never moved.

  Today, after a night with little sleep thanks to a newly returned CPAP machine, I was done experimenting. I wanted the bag gone. I just couldn't handle it any more. When my voice got to an unnaturally high level and I had his full attention, he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his and said "Sorry Mom I forgot". 

  He had heard me every time. I know he did. I guess the brain of a 12 year old doesn't, or can't, register everything. They hear what they want to hear. I better except it or it's going to be a long ten years....I'm adding Riley into the mix as well for counting purposes.

  Maybe I should get some blood pressure meds while I'm at it.

  Ang

What's Under The Bed?

   Today we went mattress shopping. It's been a long time. Too long according to Alex, who is the recipient of the new bed. Every store has sales on. You can spend a small fortune if you want. Trying to stay somewhere in the middle seemed prudent. 

  Alex's mattress has been around for a long time. I think we bought it in (gulp) the 1990's. It was always in the "spare" bedroom so it didn't get much use til he started with it nine years ago. But if my memory is right it was pretty cheap even then. I think we needed to fill the room before the "for sale" sign went up.

  When we walk into the store Alex heads immediately to the most expensive mattress in the store, calmly lays down and says this is the one. Unless he gets a waterbed. Apparently he never got the memo.

  It takes no time to find one he likes with a price tag I'm comfortable with. John is making him a new bed so we are keeping the old box spring til it's done. Between you and me I'm not sure that is the smartest of ideas. I'm pretty sure it would be made faster if the mattress was on the floor. But I'm crossing all fingers and toes that he proves me wrong.

  Delivery is on Tuesday. That gives Alex two full days to rearrange things in his room. Makes some changes if he wants to. Plenty of time. Maybe. Probably not.

  I wonder what we will find living under the bed?

  Ang



  

  

I Want To Ride My Bicycle

  Ahhhh Ottawa. The nation's capital. One of, if not the, prettiest cities in Canada. Home of Parliament, the Supreme Court of Canada and the Senators....both the hockey players and the ones who do next to nothing. Beautiful parks, museums and the longest outdoor skating rink in the world.  I love it.

  We are a city that gets winter. And lots of it. Right now it's snowing out. It snowed most of the day yesterday. The sidewalks and side roads are not cleared. They are drive-able and walk-able if you are careful. 

  So why do I see so many people on bicycles this morning? Zigzagging through ruts of slushy snow with no control. Going either too fast or too slow. Some out of control and just trying to stay upright. Acting neither like car or pedestrian.

  Before you give me grief about being "green"...we are not downtown. This is the suburbs. There is snow on the side streets. No plow is coming through my street and clearing it to the pavement. That will happen when it warms up in a few months. 

  Two people I saw this morning didn't drive their bikes all fall. They drove cars to work everyday. It's almost as if they are trying to prove a point in the winter. Waiting for someone to say something and have a confrontation. The bigger the storm, the farther they pedal.

  Keep your bikes in the garage. Or if you really feel the need to pedal, carry it to the bus stop and ride it where the streets are clear...downtown. For everyone's safety.

  Ang

  

  

Brothers

  Before Riley was born, Alex would talk to my "bump" for hours. He would tell Riley stories and sing him songs. Mostly he would tell him how much he loved him and couldn't wait to meet him and play. It was very sweet. Brotherly love.

  When Riley was born, Alex was beyond excited. He would shake a rattle and show him his toys. Entertain him. He was always kissing him and wanting to hold him. It was very sweet. Brotherly love.

  As Riley gets older, Alex can't stand to be in the same room as his brother. Every move Riley makes, every peep that comes out of his mouth, irritates the crap out of him. It's not very sweet. There is no brotherly love.

  I'm hoping this will change. It would make my life so much easier. Maybe I could actually go to the bathroom without one of them yelling at me through the door. Complaining about whatever it was the other did. 

  John tells me he fought with his brothers all the time. And now, as adults, they get along very well. Mind you they all live in various parts of the country so who knows what it would be like if they lived next door to each other. 

  Only time will tell I guess. Maybe they will become the best of friends and their kids will grow up playing together. Maybe they will hang out and watch movies. Maybe they will celebrate holidays and be each others "best man".

  Maybe, fingers crossed, I'll live long enough to see it.

  Ang

Let's Talk Canda

  Today is Bell's Let's Talk day in Canada. A day where we attempt to take the stigma off of mental health issues. It's a great initiative. One that is easy to support. We all know someone, or are someone, who suffers from it.

  Less than two weeks ago I wrote about this subject. We've lost family members to the disease. And yet even some among us still talk about it in whispers, with eyes down cast. As if we should be ashamed or embarrassed. For the record....we are NOT ashamed or embarrassed.

  Mental illness is just that. An illness. Anyone can get it. People can live with it. People can be cured of it. There are therapies to help. Medications. Support groups for not only the person with the disease but their families and friends too.

  People suffer in silence. People cry in silence. People die in silence.

  Talk. To someone. Anyone. Parent. Sibling. Spouse. Neighbor. Teacher. Doctor. Nurse. Police Officer. Minister. Priest. Friend. Stranger. Talk.

  Please talk. Can't find someone? Talk to me.

  Ang

  

Short but Sweet

  There's nothing quite like being sick to give new appreciation for modern technology. Lying in bed with aches, pains and fever is almost bearable when you can watch Downton Abbey or The Avengers in between naps...thank you Netflix.

  You guessed it, I've spent the last two days in bed trying to get warm. Today is better but I'm still not 100%. Alex has been home from school as well so I've had company. Not that we were ever in the same room. He listened to pod casts and watched you tube videos. I re-watched all three seasons of Sherlock. Together but separate.

  I'm sure it's not the flu. Probably not even a cold. Just something. A 48 hour bug of some sort. Tomorrow will be better.

  As will tomorrow's blog entry!

  Ang

  

Diversity

 This is my 100th blog entry!! I can't believe it. Again John was right I do have a lot of things to say. And I plan to keep on saying them. Fingers crossed you will keep on reading them.

  I've been seeing a lot written about the lack of diversity at the Oscars. Especially this year. Now apparently the Academy wants to change the rules some how to be more diverse. Perhaps the issue isn't that the nominations aren't diverse enough but that movies aren't. Does Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper need to star in every movie?

  When Denzel Washington received his Best Actor award he was only the second African American to win the prize. Of course the fabulous Sidney Poitier was the first, 47 years before. He had been overlooked before and his body of work definitely deserved to be awarded. I love Denzel but Training Day? Definitely not his best movie. Malcolm X for sure. Or The Hurricane absolutely. But Training Day? Really?

  That same year Halle Berry won Best Actress for her role in Monster's Ball. She was the first African American woman to do so. Considering the Oscars began in 1929 that's quite a dry spell. It's hard to believe not one actress of color before her deserved the award. Had they never seen What's Love Got To Do With It? Or The Color Purple? Seriously.

  One thing I am interested in is this call to boycott the show, started by Jada Pinkett Smith. Who will show up? Will it affect the careers of the people who don't show? Or will it finally get the industry to open their minds and eyes. I heard someone on a talk show say that she seemed to be reacting to the news that her husband, Will Smith, wasn't nominated. Maybe. Who knows.

  For sure the host of the awards will not let this topic go untouched. Chris Rock is by far one of the funniest people on the planet. And one of the smartest comedians you will ever listen to. He can take a "hot topic" and make it funny while showing you how wrong you are about it. That's a talent. I rarely watch but I will see the opening monologue for sure. 

  As someone who isn't the biggest movie watcher.....I tend to fall asleep in the theater...this will still be an interesting year at the Oscars. This is one awards show where people tend to push their politics and issues anyway. 

  This year they actually have an issue worth talking about....that doesn't involve the clothes.

  Ang

**for the record...I love Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Copper**