They Know

  Another day another Trump gaff. But this one bothers me more than most. Why? Because I'd heard the same phrase for years. Twenty five years at least. And no matter who said it, it still made my blood boil.

  President #45 called a grieving widow on her way to meet her husbands casket at an air force base in Florida. Sgt. La David T. Johnson had been killed on October 4 in Niger. In my opinion, this was the wrong time to call but who knows the reason behind the strange timing. The offensive statement, to both the family and to me, was "He knew what he was signing up for". 

  I have hated those eight words since John and I started dating quite a few years ago! Alone at Christmas...he knew what he was signing up for. Fifty degree plus temperatures hauling grain to starving people...he knew what he was signing up for. Working thirty six hours straight in a blizzard because someone got lost snowmobiling...he knew what he was signing up for. The same phrase over and over again. Was that supposed to help? Or a not so subtle way to tell me to stop complaining?

   Being part of the military is an honor and those who enlist do so with the full knowledge that their lives are never going to be "normal".  They are fully aware that they will spend long stretches of time away from home. They will miss holidays, birthdays, funerals, Sunday dinners, weddings, soccer games, dance recitals and they accept it. Even losing their lives. They know what they signed up for.

  What they didn't expect was that the country they have sworn to protect and defend would use such callous words to explain away their feelings. But to say it to a widow? On the way to claim a soldiers body? That never, ever would have crossed their minds. And certainly not by their own Commander and Chief! But with this one I guess it's no surprise.

  Don't use the words. They won't help. They won't change the reality of separation, injury and death. What they will do is make these brave women and men, and their families, resent you, and your callousness, to their circumstances.

  Sgt. La David T. Johnson may you finally be at peace.

  Ang