School's Out!!!

  After not writing for a few days I find myself deliberating over what exactly to write about now. Lots of things have happened and I have a few things I really wanted to discuss but.....well it's the end of June so it must be the end of the school year.

  Today there are many new high school graduates. Filled with promise, hopes and dreams. Ready to tackle the world as adults. Good luck to them. Boy will they need it. To all the Jacinta's, Shanel's, Maggie's, Breanna's and Dylan's of the world....Congratulations! May all your dreams come true.

  There are also many more kids enjoying their grade eight graduations. Moving on from middle to high school is a big step. One that is both thrilling and scary. Time for school work to start mattering, grade wise I mean. I hope the transition is easy for you and filled with great friends and teachers.

  We can't forget those grade sixers who are taking the plunge. You have a huge learning curve in a few months. It will be lots of fun and so different from what you are used to. Sam, Sebastien, Owen et al...enjoy.

  Now for my own two graders. Alex has blossomed in seventh grade. His marks are on the rise and A's could be seen on his report card. I'm sure next year you will be even more challenged and focused. I'm looking forward to great grades being a fact of life. Fingers crossed.

  Riley had his best report card to date! More A's than I can count and comments about his love of learning and ability to get along with his peers. That last part seems false considering how well he gets along with his brother but I digress.

  I'm not a huge believer in marks being the beginning and end all of school. Sometimes trying your best doesn't translate to straight A's. To all of you who tried your best.... great job and congratulations. 

  And to all you parents out there... great job too. We lived through another year of homework, lunches and parent teacher interviews. 

  Last but certainly not least....to the teachers. You made it. Thank you for caring about our kids. For taking the extra time to help them figure out a problem. For making sure they are getting the best education possible. For all the Michelle's, Sana's, Lori's, Stacey's and Chantal's......put your feet up, you deserve it.

  For my favorite teacher, my BFF.....break out the gin!

  Ang

Where Have All The Tellers Gone?

  I recently read that bank fees are on the rise...when are they not?  Profits are soaring for almost all. The dividends are not increasing at the same rate as the profits. So where is all the money going? I'm not sure but I know where it's not.

  Tellers. Real people who answer your questions. Who fix your mistakes or their own. Those great folks who can explain, in language you will understand, why you have no money left. Most of the time they are efficient, friendly and knowledgeable. Or they know someone who is.

  My beef isn't with the tellers themselves. Just the amount of them. Today I went into the branch and waited 40 minutes to get to the front. Did I mention that when I went in there were only two people in front of me? Well there was. The two tellers were busy and one man did seem to have a huge problem. Several times they did apologize to the six to eleven people waiting in line.

  From where I was standing I could see an "office worker". No client. Just him alone at his desk. Typing. Approximately every minute or so he would take his phone out of his pants pocket, look at the screen, type a few words then put it back into his pocket. And then resume typing on his work computer. Was it work related? I don't know but I'd be willing to bet quite a bit of cash that it wasn't.

  Remember I could see him. So could the man in front of me and every single person in line behind me. Common sense says if we can see him, he can see us. In fact he looks at the line up quite often. But says or does nothing. For 39 minutes. 

  Another man comes out from the back. Stops short when he sees the amount of people in line but says or does nothing also. He walked by three times. As did another lady who turned her head aside so as not to see the line.

  A wanna-be customer leaves the line and walks over to an office asking very politely if there are more tellers. I'm not sure the response but no tellers came so..... An older gentleman asked loudly to the teller, who was with a client, if there were more tellers. She smiled apologetically and said the other teller was on lunch. "I hope she's not standing in line waiting at another bank like I am on my lunch break!" a construction worker said. Truer words my friend.

  It doesn't matter what bank this was. It could be any of them. In fact this same sort of scenario has happened to me in all three banks we deal with. I rarely go into a branch. Between telephone and online banking there isn't a need for me. But when I do I can't believe the amount of time I have waited for service.

  I do want to point out every single person in line was a senior....except myself and the construction worker. That is one group who still tends to go inside to get things done. 

  They are waiting their lives away.

 Ang

  

Am I Crazy?

  I'm toying with the idea of the house going electronic free for the summer. Toying being the operative word. I like the idea of the kids not being nose first into a small screen 24/7 or at least every waking hour.

  For Riley this wouldn't be an issue as long as he could still somehow play music....which I don't have a problem with. He couldn't care less about games or videos as long as he can sing and dance. And if there is another kid around then he doesn't even necessarily want the tunes.

  Alex on the other hand. That would be a punishment for him and me! He is 13 and if you've EVER been outside of your home you know a teenager goes no where, NO WHERE, without the phone. Bathroom, fridge, church, no place is off limits in their minds. 

  And the questions. Why are you doing this? Give me a reason! Give me a real reason! Why do you hate me? Other kids parents don't do this! And on and on and on. That alone would drive me nuts.

  So maybe a modified schedule is the way to go. A time limit. Used when ever they want but only for a limited time per day. Like say two hours. As I write that it seems like a huge amount of time. But as adults we probably spend that or more! I know some people who always have their phones inches from their fingers. Even in bed!

  I have three more days to decide. Free or limited. Or just play it by ear. I'm so wishy-washy today.

  Now that I think about it....I've bought houses with less consideration than this! I think I might be going crazy.

  Ang

  

Summer's Here!

   Summer has officially begun! Any plans? Days spent lounging at the beach or pool? Taking the kids to the park to enjoy the sunshine? Piling almost everything you own into your car and driving to a cottage somewhere in the wilderness? All sound like great ways to pass the next few months.

  I would love to spend the summer in Prince Edward Island with my toes buried in the red sand. Walking along the shores and skipping rocks across the water. Eating mussels and fresh veggies bought from a road side stand. Listening to the boys splashing in the waves and screaming because the water is a little chilly. 

  Driving the island and stopping at every single art gallery and tea house. Every antique market and craft shop. Buying lobster from the fishermen at the wharf and eating them at a picnic table by the ocean. Going to Cavendish Boardwalk for Cows ice cream and looking at sea shell jewelry.

  Going to Anne of Green Gables and walking through the flowers of the old house. Playing a round of golf. Laughing at the boys complaining about the ever present smell of cow manure as we drive past fields covered in potato plants. 

  I can smell the salt air as I sit here far, far away from the Atlantic Ocean. Sadly it's not to be this year. Instead we will try to enjoy the extreme Ottawa heat and humidity. Maybe go to a festival or two. Try to get close to Parliament Hill on July 1. Watch the fire works competition. All in all not so bad.

  But I'll be wishing I was in P.E.I.

  Ang

Coming To An End

   It's sad but true. The school year is almost over! Alex has five days and Riley seven. Then the real craziness begins.

  Only ten short months ago they headed out the door. Ready for new opportunities and adventures. Time to make new friends and reconnect with old. And maybe even a little bit of learning.

  Now they have had enough. Teachers, classmates, rooms without air conditioning. It's enough. They are ready for lazy days spent doing absolutely nothing. Me on the other hand....

  I'm not ready. Not by a long shot. I see two months stretching out in front of me filled with fighting, arguing and "I'm bored". Sixty plus days of keeping the peace and refereeing. I could use a nap just thinking about it.

  Maybe this summer break will be different. The boys will sleep late and make their own breakfast. And clean up afterwards. Maybe they will like each other and hang out without any fighting. They will find their friends at the park and go for bike rides.

  I think I have a fever!

  Ang

Pool Plans

  It's a little after nine and I'm finally getting around to writing. Not that I've been so terribly busy today. But Riley has not been sleeping well and if he isn't I'm not either. When I'm tired I just can't seem to get much done. Who am I kidding I get nothing done.

  Yesterday was Father's Day and I had an entire entry I was going to dedicate to John, who is by far the best dad I could ever have wanted for my boys. As you've probably guessed I missed that one. Again tired and unable to function well. There's always next year.

  But yesterday did have some excitement. It was hot. Not warm but hot. Like 34 degrees hot. After Saturday being a balmy 32 degrees. FYI in Canada we use Celsius so that's the equivalent of 93 Fahrenheit. 

  We are all outside enjoying the breeze. Sitting on the swing beside me, John very casually says "Today would be perfect to have a pool to jump into." Then he gets up and starts walking towards the door and goes inside. In seconds he's back out, with the measuring tape in hand, and says "I guess we should start enjoying our money."

  The kids and I have wanted a pool forever. So has he but it's always been on "the list". Our list always gets way-laid by that damn basement. So we all get up and go onto the grass and start deciding how big, what shape, in-ground, on ground. Since the deck was designed with a pool in mind it was a pretty quick decision. A semi in-ground pool it is.

  It probably won't happen this summer. We will probably have to do the leg work over the winter and get some estimates so it's ready to go first thing next spring. I'd be happy with that. I'd be happier if it was tomorrow but such is life.

  Like the Stones say..."you can't always git what you want"

  And yes I know how to spell "get". I typed it like Mick sings it.

  Ang

5 Simple Rules

  I've learned a valuable lesson these past few days. I try very hard to express my thoughts and opinions in a clear and respectful manner. If I'm not always successful well I apologize. 

  But these are MY opinions. No one else's. You don't have to agree with them or even understand them. I do, however, expect you to respect my right to express them. Just as I respect your right to have your own ideas. And if I think you are totally off the rails, I won't read, or ask for, your thoughts. 

  So if you want to comment on other people's opinions, including my own, here are 5 basic rules to follow.....

1. Don't swear at the people. Don't call them names like stupid, idiot or moron. People loose a lot of respect for you and your opinions when you must forward your argument in that way.

2. Spell check your message. Nothing discredits your ideas more than when you can't spell a word properly. 

3. Remember what you say on here never goes away. Ever. When you react in anger to a comment you never know who is going to read it...your children, your parents or even your boss. It can come back and bite you later.

4. It doesn't really matter what a total stranger thinks about you or your opinions. Concern yourself with the folks who's opinion you really care about.

5. You do not have to comment on everything. It is possible to read something totally out to lunch and just keep scrolling by it. You won't die I promise.

  Having said that I do want to hear your opinions. I am curious about other people's ideas on things. Especially folks who live in different parts of the country or the world. Different points of view help you grow and challenge your opinions. I like that.

  Just follow the rules!

  Ang

***I spell checked this post three times***

  

She's How Old???

 The tabloids are saying Jennifer Aniston is pregnant! While I don't know if it's true or not, I was surprised that people are making negative comments about it. All because of her age. 

  Is 47 really too old to have a baby? Isn't that a personal choice? Not to mention her own business?

  I'm sure with her income she has very good health insurance. Finding a top notch OBGYN wouldn't be an issue. Or a pediatrician for that matter. She can afford to take off as much "bonding time" with a baby as she wanted without worrying about paying the hydro. A roof over their heads, food on the table....all non-issues. So why are folks being so negative? 

  I myself would not be happy to have a new born awake, hungry and crying at 1,3 and 5 a.m. at 47 but that's just me. I've been there and done that. But if I always thought kids would someday be in the picture then I think it would be a different story.

  As women we need to have each others back. To say we support your choice. Even when it's different from what ours would be. We didn't make the decision but we need to support the other woman's right to make that choice. Feminism at it's very core.

  If she is pregnant then my congratulations. I support her choice. I don't envy it but I support it. 

  Besides it's not as if she is going to ask me to babysit!

  Ang

  
  

Prayer

  Prayers are getting the people of the U.S. nowhere. They prayed after Columbine suffered a loss of twelve students and one teacher in 1999. More prayers after Sandy Hook in 2012 where they lost twenty children aged six and seven. Also six adult staff members.

  If prayer was going to be enough, surely to God children being murdered would have been the catalyst for the All Mighty to make it stop! It's not enough. Not even close.

  Now I'm not saying prayers and faith can't help the families cope. If that brings them comfort and sanity then by all means. As a community if getting together in worship helps you to heal then congregate. For some it will be the only thing that helps.

  But to stop this from being the almost weekly occurrence that it is in the United States, prayers are not enough. Samantha Bee used this bible quote in her monologue the other night....James 2:17...."Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." Powerful, to the point and right on target.

  Prayer isn't enough. No matter how devout you are. Action is necessary. And anger. Lots and lots of anger. Peaceful protests that happen on a daily basis throughout the country. Millions of emails sent to Congressmen, Senators and State Representatives. Every single day. Vigils, news conferences with grieving families. Whatever it takes to put pressure on the government to change the gun laws.

  I'm praying people finally get angry.

  Ang

  

  

Focus

  As soon as I hit "publish" on the entry about the massacre in Orlando I realized I forgot to add something. I didn't once mention this atrocity happened at a gay club. 

  It was intentional. It wasn't a Freudian slip. It was, and is, important that it happened at a gay club. But not at this moment. At least not to me. Now is the time to grieve for those who have lost their lives and those that are battling to keep theirs in the hospital. 

  But very soon the focus will shift. Soon we will want definitive answers. An explanation that makes it seem a little less insane. People will want to know if it was a hate crime or terrorism. Families will want to have some semblance of closure and that often only comes with reasons why. 

  Already there are groups talking about how all Muslims hate gays. How God is punishing them. Trying to make these groups hate each other and cause more harm. Boy are they headed down the wrong road.

  Here is one group who will meet this head on with kindness, love and acceptance. They will lead the world in forgiveness, sadness and perseverance. They will show compassion and empathy. All while moving towards the necessary changes that are taking too long to come.

  Don't take that as weakness or feebleness. Take it as strength. Because that is exactly what it is.

  Ang

49 Innocent People

  I've been trying to write about Saturday night's massacre in Orlando for two days now. Everything I say seems trivial, small. As if I'm making no sense, even to myself. I guess that's because it is. How can I possibly ever convey to you the outrage and sadness I feel? I can't understand it myself.

  All I know is that Saturday morning 50 people woke up. Went to work. Took care of their kids. Got a haircut. Had lunch. Talked to their parents. Held the door for someone. Did some laundry. Hugged a friend. Went dancing. 

  But one of these people took an automatic weapon and a hand gun with him when he went to the club, legally obtained I should add. When the dust finally settled he was dead. So were 38 others. Eleven more have died in the hospital since then. And more to come since many who were taken to hospital had life threatening injuries.

  Forty nine innocent people did not see the sunrise. They didn't get a chance to say goodbye to their families, children or friends. No last rites for the religious. No one to hold their hand at the end. 

 Gone forever.

  Ang
  

  


  

Mrs. Turner

  By now you have all heard about the 6 month jail sentence rapist, Brock Turner, received from a California judge. In fact he probably won't even serve that entire sentence. General consensus says more likely three. 

  He will be on a registered sex offender list which will limit his career choices, where he lives, where he travels. It will impact all relationships he has. With women, family and friends. In fact this is the only true punishment he will receive. Jail is not prison. Six months is not fourteen years.

  Now the father is being vilified for defending his son. The words he chose were.....honestly I can't come up with a suitable description. However I don't want to talk about that. 

  I want to talk about Carleen Turner, the mother of this rapist. A woman. The mother of a young woman. A mother who I'm sure taught her daughter how to be safe in many situations. Who probably told her to be extra careful going to parties. To be smart about her surroundings and the people in them. You know, what almost every mother tells their daughters.

  Carleen Turner the nurse. A nurse who probably has seen more than her share of rape victims coming through an ER. A nurse who most likely has seen the terror, shame and pain in the eyes of young women her daughters age. A nurse who had to administer HIV tests and take swabs for rape kits for the police. A nurse who had to stand by while a young woman howled in pain, rocking on the floor in the corner.

  What is going through her mind. Is she questioning all of her parenting decisions? Is she blaming herself? Wondering if she should have talked to her son more about treating women with respect? I would assume all of the above.

  I would also assume that while she may defend her son in public, privately she is struggling. Remember she has a daughter too. What can she possibly say to her? That would be the most brutal of all I think.

  Don't take this as I'm feeling bad for this rapist. Or his father. But there are two women in the picture that have done no wrong. And I know many of you blame the parents but I'd bet my life they never told him it's ok to rape someone.

  One quick note on the young woman who was raped....she will be fine. The inner strength it took to read and write those words show me that yes you have some healing to do but you will be just fine. Better than fine. You will be inspirational.

  Ang

43 Hours

  The boys went camping Friday with Scouts. It's a wonderful opportunity for them to spend time in the great outdoors, sleeping under the stars and learning new skills. Making memories with new friends. All that great stuff.

  But it's also been a unique and happy experience for John and I too. That's right we were alone. Just us. No kids. Do you have any idea how long it's been? Two years! Two years! In fact it was because of this same particular Scout camp.

  At first we were almost giddy with excitement. A feeling of freedom that is unexpected and makes you light-headed. Where should we go? What should we do? The possibilities are endless. 

  By the time we dropped them off and drove back to the city it was time for a late supper and too late for a movie. That's ok because we had an entire day to do what WE wanted. 

  Saturday morning...awake at 7:04. That's a two hour sleep in for John and an hour for me so we were happy as clams. Over coffee we talk about how to spend the day. So while we decide, we get caught up on this show we've never had time for....the next three hours are gone. 

  Ok it's almost noon. Still plenty of time. A quick bite at home and we head out to see some open houses and show homes. We always enjoyed that and the kids don't so.....but Saturday is not the best day for this. Sunday is but we persevere. A few places are open and we take some pictures of ideas we want to steal. Success.

  We come back home to change for dinner. But we can't agree on where we should go. Finally we pick the race track so we can play a few slot machines afterwards....not very romantic I know. We seem to have forgotten how far in the middle of nowhere this place really is or how bad the food is. Oh well that doesn't matter.

  The next few hours are spent walking around trying to find each other. The place is huge. Finally we decide we have lost enough money and head home. Funny the drive home doesn't seem so long.

  One quick stop for a hair brush...don't ask...and we are home. We are going to watch a movie on Netflix. An Owen Wilson movie. I'm not a fan but the premise is good. It's violent. Not a little. A lot. Violently violent! Too much for me. Asleep I go.

 This morning at 7:10 I wake up. Energized and happy. Our 43 hours of alone time is coming to an end. But we used it very well. We were together. Doing nothing. Talking, laughing, being. It sure is nice to know that almost thirty years later we still like hanging out together. What a great weekend.

  Hopefully we don't have to wait another two years for the next "alone" time.

  Ang

  

Emma's Rant

As the mother of two boys I believe I have a chance to change the world. I can raise two boys to see women as equals. I can teach them that whatever they can do, a women can do. And most importantly I can make them realize women are not objects for their viewing pleasure but human beings who are built beautifully yes, but are so much more than that. A tough job but I think I'm up to the task.

  But mothers of girls....boy I feel for you. Because your girls learn at a ridiculously early age that most boys don't see them that way. They pay the price for moms like me not doing a good job. And they deal with this on a daily basis. Even in places you wouldn't think they should. Like school.

  I'm going to share with you a "rant", her words not mine, by a grade 8 student here in Ottawa about the dress code at her school.....

 "When you interrupt a girls school day to force her to change her clothes, or send her home because her shorts are shorter than knee length, her shoulders or bra straps are visible, just because the school doesn't want boys to look at them, you are telling her that boys having a distraction free learning environment is more important than her education. INSTEAD OF SHAMING GIRLS FOR THEIR BODIES, TEACH BOYS THAT THEY ARE NOT SEXUAL OBJECTS.

  It is not right to take thirty minutes out of a girls school day, when it is not the girls fault. Maybe it is the fault of the people who view them sexually. Girls do not shop at a sex store for back to school shopping. In fact, most girls who violate the dress code by showing their lower thighs, belly button, shoulders and more, their "inappropriate" clothes were purchased by their parents.

  Let us remind you that our skin is to protect our bones, organs and muscle tissue from bacteria and more. A belly buttons presence is due to an umbilical cord when they were first born. And breasts main use are for women feeding their new born children.

  An 8th grade student claims that she had been to at least four stores before finding shorts that fit the dress code (down to her knees). Girls should not have to go through so much trouble and spend more money to buy clothes that fit the overly strict and unfair dress code.

  written by Emma" 

 Enough said.

 Ang

Oh Canada

  Here is a list of things that need some readjusting/help/fine tuning here in Canada. Healthcare, education, Veteran's Affairs, criminal justice system, high taxes, childhood poverty, long term disability......the list goes on and on. While I will always say that I live in the best country in the world, we have our fair share of problems in need of a fix. However right now the issue front and center involves none of the above. 

  Someone has decided Oh Canada, our national anthem, needs to be changed. To be more inclusive. Change "in all thy sons command" to "in all of us command". A small change really. Two words taken out and replaced by two more. Not harder to sing and certainly not a big deal song wise. 

  However...it's our national anthem. Ours. Mine and the entire 36 million or so people of this great nation. And it was brought up after the election. So my MP has no idea what his constituents feel on the matter. He can, and will, vote based solely on his own opinion and with maybe a little input from the few voters who will send an email. This could have been a separate vote during the election last fall. Then the people could have decided.

  The MP who decided women needed to be represented is Mauril Belanger. A man. Did he ask any women if they felt left out? And if he did...how many? From where? What age group? I certainly wasn't asked. No woman has ever mentioned to me that they were asked about this issue or ever said they felt neglected for that matter. I'm not sure but I don't recall the Canadian Women's hockey team being upset when they won a gold medal and the anthem was played. If memory serves me right they sang. Loud. Clear. And proud.

  I'm all for political correctness. But I do think there can be too much of it. Inclusiveness is important in daily life. Fight for the changes that really matter.

  When everything is made an issue we won't know when a real one comes along.

  Ang

  

  

  

Perspective...again.

  Yesterday was going down hill pretty fast. My patience was worn thread bare. After being gone for the weekend camping, Riley was tired and grouchy. After two days without his brother to pick on, Alex felt he had some catching up to do in that department. John hadn't slept all weekend and was trying to catch 40 winks upstairs. I was left to handle the chaos that is our two sons.

  I was losing quite badly. In fact when the dust settled no one was happy. Certainly not me. I stomped downstairs.....yes stomped. Slamming doors and mumbling obscenities under my breath. Ok maybe not completely under my breath.

  No one EVER goes near the laundry room but me so I knew the peace I craved was waiting for me there. I folded towels. I put in another load. I calmed down. Serenity now I thought. You Seinfeld fans know what I'm talking about. 

  Coming upstairs after my own little temper tantrum I decided to play a mind numbing game on the iPad. As I was scrolling through the apps I noticed a new message on my Facebook.

  In an instant I went from crazy woman to joyful friend. My friend Janet sent a message saying she was a Grammie! A Grammie! She couldn't contain the joy. Every word she typed was filled with it. Her smile in the photos was the most beautiful you've ever seen.

  Miraculously I was happy again. Not just happy but elated. I had tears in my eyes just seeing how happy she was. And the baby!! He is adorable. Perfection. Mom was doing well too. What more could you ask for?

  One of my favorite words is perspective. In a heartbeat I gained it yesterday. Yes my kids were driving me to the edge but remembering that initial joy of motherhood brought it all into....perspective.

  Congratulations Janet! You will be a fantastic Grammie! And your daughter will be a fantastic mother.....look at her role model.

  Ang

There Was a Book???

  Last night was my famous book/wine club monthly meeting. As always it was loud, fun and alcohol infused. We solved each others problems and a few of the worlds. 

  Every month we catch up on each others lives. Find out about our jobs, kids and spouses. Talk about vacations, births and deaths. What tv shows we are watching and the great new restaurant we've found. 

  Some people find it hard to believe but seven women are in the same room, talking, disagreeing or maybe even arguing but knowing we have each others backs. That we don't have to agree on everything to love and respect each other. What a sense of freedom.

  Now this time I can't give you details of what was discussed. One I had to leave early. Two I didn't get around to chatting to everyone because of reason number one. I can say that Jen had a fabulous time in NYC and she would go back any time.

  Next time I'll stay til the end.

  Ang