Scary School Drop Off

  I drove Riley to school this morning. He qualifies for a bus so it's a rare thing. What I saw amazed, shocked and scared me. Parents dropping off their kids in unsafe places with little or no regard for the other children trying to get to school.

  One parent did a u-turn! In front of the driveway about three feet from the crosswalk! With kids in the crosswalk! She didn't even seem concerned that she was a few feet from them. I guess she was in a hurry to get to work. Or go somewhere. She sure as hell had no worries about the other children's safety.

  What is wrong with people? Why do they loose their common sense when it comes to drop-offs and pick-ups for school? We are all busy. We all have places we need to be. But no one is so busy, or important, that they can put a child's life at risk when they are going to school. Not me. Not you. No one.

  So why does this happen every day? And more importantly what can the school, police and other parents do to stop this. There are teachers outside. They are visible to the drivers.  The drivers just don't seem to care. The police have shown up but the next day the parents go back to their unsafe driving habits. Nothing seems to be a long term deterrent.

  Personally I would like to place them all in a room and slap them back to sanity. Ask them what their reaction will be when they run into a child. Or when someone else runs into theirs. And it will happen. 

  Someone will get hurt and then it's too late.

  Ang

I Don't Understand

  Women baffle me.  I believe the huge majority of us are the same. We want the same things. Happiness. Good health for ourselves and family. Respect. Equality. Financial security. You know....the basics.

  Lately I'm starting to question that. At least about some women in the United States. I'm confused about your support for Donald Trump. Truly. He is an unapologetic misogynist. All his other political beliefs aside, this seems like the ultimate reason not to support him. But they are. Not in the numbers he would like you to believe but enough.

  Let's pretend you are at a dinner party. The man across the table from you calls a woman he disagrees with a fat pig. Or calls the hostess Miss Housekeeping because she is Latino. Would you let that pass? Of course not. You would instantly dislike him and thank your lucky stars he has no daily effect on your life.

  Perhaps it's Thanksgiving dinner and your Uncle Bob is at the end of the table talking about how you are a fool for staying with your husband after he had an affair, when he, himself, has had several. Or about how his daughter has a great body and if he wasn't her father well...Women everywhere would be throwing a turkey leg across the table at him!

  But he isn't a stranger or your crazy old uncle. He's on tv. He's famous. And that seems to mean we forgive a lot. That's what I don't get. Does it give him a free pass to be degrading? Or rude? Not to mention just plain mean?

  I can't think of one woman who would be okay with this man's attitude and behavior towards women who challenge him. Or the ones who don't. Not one. 
  
  Maybe we aren't as alike as I think.

  Ang

  

Aches & Pains

  Physical labor after a certain age is hard. Not so much while it's happening but the next morning...that's an entirely different story! Today both John and I are experiencing that reality.

  We are building a new walkway for our house. And while it will be beautiful and nicely clean up the side yard, it's a lot of hauling, lifting and shoveling. With more to come. Sadly, for my back, lots more to come.

  This morning I was dead to the world. I blame it on the fresh air yesterday. But when my legs swung to the floor I had an over whelming urge to just lay back down, pull the duvet up and go back to sleep. It's a school day so no such luck.

  Anyone watching me walk down the stairs would have thought I was celebrating my 90th birthday. Lots of creaks and cracks. Not all of which could be blamed on the stairs! 

  Coffee helped, not as much as a whirlpool tub would have, but some. I managed to get the kids on the bus, with food in their stomachs and a lunch for later. I'm almost positive I will make it through the day.

  Almost.

  Ang

  

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

  Tonight is the first U.S. Presidential debate. It's been a long time coming. About two years to be exact. As a country they have way more patience than we Canadians do. Never, ever, would we be okay with an election taking so long.

  One thing I saw this morning made me laugh. Donald Trump said 52 things that were false.....last week! Some were huge like his numbers with African American voters were "taking off like a skyrocket"....they haven't moved. Others small like tonight's debate moderator is a Democrat. He's not. Lestor Holt is a Republican.

  Whether a little white one or a whopper, Mr. Trump needs a fact checker. And a good one. 

  People believe politicians are dishonest. We expect them to say whatever it takes to get elected. Then pretend it's the other parties fault that you can't do everything you promised. Sadly it's a fact of life. But most don't do it as often or with such disregard.

  Maybe instead of talking about the size of his hands, his opponents should talk about the size of his nose! wink wink

  Ang

Food + Family = Happiness

  I just saw a video where they asked couples who they would like to have dinner with, dead or alive. The responses were Justin Beiber, Marilyn Monroe and Nelson Mandela....he would be a great dinner companion. All were celebrities of a sort. Then the same question was asked of their children.

  The parents were shocked because ALL the kids had the same answer....family. Mom and Dad. Every member of our family. Think about that for a second. Their parents dreamed of Kim Kardashian and Kylie Minogue. They wanted to hang out with their parents. Interesting.

  We eat dinner as a family every single day. It is very rare that we aren't all in the same room. Not necessarily at the table but all together. A meal might last three hours, thirty minutes or three but we are all in the same space. 

  Sometimes, in our busy lives, we forget that our kids just want us. Our attention. Our interest. A nod of the head that shows we are listening. Nothing dramatic. Just us. 

  Take the time to eat with your kids. Doesn't matter where you sit or what you eat. Be present. You'll be amazed at what you learn about them.

  And if I could pick someone to have dinner with....without hesitation...my Dad. 

  Ang

Make it home...

  Anthony Anderson said something on The View Wednesday that made me, as a parent, very sad. The quote " I want you to come home every night. I want you to make it home. Whatever it is that you need to do, make it home." I can not even imagine saying that to my 16 year old son. Or how painful it must be to say it.

  Of course my son isn't a sixteen year old black male living in the United States. I would imagine this is a common conversation between parent and child there. Probably as often as me telling Alex to clean his room. What a difference a border makes!

  Now I'm not saying we are perfect. Far from it. We are fighting racism daily, with a degree of success, but we still have a long way to go. And we admit it. And you know what they say.....admitting you have a problem is the first step in solving it.

  A Trump campaign official says there was no racism in the U.S. until Barack Obama became president! WTH??? She has since quit the campaign after the backlash but asked NBC "What did I say that was racist?" If you can't see it when it's right in front of your eyes well....

  Racism is real. Racial profiling is real. Police violence against African American men is real. Pretending it isn't won't help anyone.

  Ang

***Watch Blackish...Anthony Anderson is fabulous!***
  

Welcome Autumn

  It's the first day of autumn. Time to officially break out the sweaters, boots and scarves. Open the windows and let in that crisp fresh air. Soon you'll be scrapping the frost off the windshield and turning the heat on in the mornings. 

  John loves this time of year. It's evident in the amount of yard work that gets completed each year. Anything that involves heavy labor gets pushed aside til late September and he finds time daily to work on them. This year it's a new side walkway and it's going to be gorgeous.

  I'm happy for my power bill to go down. Hopefully with the air conditioner off it will drop to a more manageable amount. And if we could have a month where the furnace doesn't have to go on that would be perfect. 

  Sadly my sandals will get less wear but I'm a hold out. Sometimes til snow hits the ground. But I will buy the kids new boots and mitts before that happens. And snow pants. I always seem to be late with those.

  Whether it's your favorite time or not, at least drive around. See the changing leaves and the beautiful scenery that surrounds you. Take in all the colors Mother Nature puts on display.

  Before all that white stuff ruins it!

  Ang
  

My Executive Decision

  I've made an executive decision today. I have decided what would most benefit our family as a whole. After careful deliberation and soul searching, I now know what will improve our quality of life in both the short and long term. That's right...we are getting a second dishwasher!

  Our kitchen isn't big enough to have them side by side but there is lots of room in the island. Maybe that one can be just for pots! And plastic containers. Even the occasional baking sheet. I'm almost giddy.

  The one beside the sink will easily handle the 20 cups and glasses Alex goes through in the course of a day. And the bowls, which take up way too much room (please read Why Didn't I Listen for that explanation), can finally all be washed at the same time.

  I will be the envy of all my friends. My cupboards will be so well organized and spacious.....cause they will be empty! As Dana Carvey's Church Lady would say "I'm verklempt".

  Now all I have to do is convince John to install it.

  Ang

  

Happy 1st Anniversary!!!!

  Happy Anniversary to me!!!!!! One year go today I started writing this blog and I've never looked back. It's been therapeutic at times. Lots of ranting has taken place. A few tears. And many, many WTH moments. I hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me!

  One thing I wasn't expecting, but am so thrilled by, is the amount of people from other countries who are reading. I mean you Portugal! When I get a stats update I'm over whelmed at the countries I see...Poland, China, Russia, Romania, France. Canada and the U.S. I expected but the rest of you...well you are a completely wonderful surprise!

  It proves what I always knew....we are more alike than different. Religion, economics, geography and cultures aside. Everyone wants to be happy, raise good kids, enjoy our family. We all pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get on with it. We laugh. We cry. We go on. That's a comforting thought with so much upheaval in the world.

  Thank you for sharing my life. Thank you for listening to me rant. Thank you for coming back day after day. 

  Year two......starts now!

  Ang 

***I have a Facebook page where it's easy to leave comments...Life As I See It....please let me know what you think and where you are from!***

  

Debt

  Canadians are now carrying more "bad" debt then ever before. In fact we have more debt to income than any other G7 country. Stats Canada says that we owe $1.68 for every $1.00 of disposable income! That's huge.

  My parents generation didn't believe in debt. Not really. You paid your mortgage and celebrated when the house was finally yours. Most bought used cars and it was rare for a family to have two. We rarely ate out and if we did it was a bucket of KFC in the summer at the beach. Vacations meant camping or day trips. Credit cards were not commonplace and if you wanted something you saved for it.

  Boy a lot has changed! Now we buy "starter homes" that we upgrade after five years to something much bigger and much more expensive. Most families have two cars and it is now the norm to buy your child a car when they turn 16. Take out is a way of life for many busy families. And vacations are all-inclusive's for the entire family during the winter and a cottage rental in the summer.

  Every single person I know has at least one credit card. Most three or more. And without even trying I can think of a hand full of people who have declared some form of bankruptcy at least once. Many people "supplement" their incomes with their Visa or Mastercard. 
  
  Even scarier than "young people" debt is that fact that now more than half of all Canadians retire with debt! Some with mortgages. Others are still paying off their kids education, or worse, their adult children's debts. And after years of instant gratification, baby boomers aren't able, or willing, to go without. Not even in the short term.

  So what does this say about us as a people? Are we greedy? Impatient? Has our keeping up with the Jones finally caught up to us? I can't speak for all Canadians but I will say it seems the line between "wants" and "needs" have really blurred. So much so we don't know the difference anymore.

  I hate to think what our kids finances will look like. They will learn from our example. And it sure looks like we aren't setting a great one.

  Some of us at least.

  Ang   

Why Didn't I Listen?

  I didn't listen to my friend Janet and now I'm paying for it. Why do I question her knowledge? She's always right. It's getting annoying.

  After breaking almost every plate in the house I bought new dishes. Basic white. Very plain. Just a little curve to them. They look great against the red or silver chargers. Food looks very appetizing on them.

  It's the bowls that are the problem. They look great. Perfect size. Nice and deep for chowder or cereal. But they don't fit properly in the dishwasher. Just like Janet told me they wouldn't. Why didn't I listen?

  Last night the bottom tray had six bowls and three small plates. That's all that would fit. All twelve of the old bowls fit with room to spare. And on the top rack I can fit eight but no glasses. It sucks. I may have to resort to hand washing and those of you who know me know that's a taboo subject.

  As I unpack the final service for four, I know that it's too late to return them and that next time I will listen to whatever advice she gives me.

  Or maybe I'll just get a second dishwasher.

  Ang

Lessons

  Alex forgot his lunch today. I'm tempted to let him go hungry. I read an article a few weeks back that said we shouldn't bring lunches, forgotten homework or projects to school for our kids. Let them suffer the consequences of their disorganization and they will learn from it. Good in theory I suppose.

  John forgot his lunch a few times. He didn't go hungry all day. Out came his wallet and he bought something to hold him over. Should I have put a freeze on his bank and credit cards to teach him a lesson? He's pretty easy going but I'm sure that wouldn't have gone over well!

  Last year Alex got his one and only detention for not returning a test that a teacher asked to have signed. He had taken the paper home, I had reviewed and signed it and I watched him put it in his backpack. Over the next 45 minutes, it was the first class of the day, it disappeared. Never to be seen again....until he cleaned out his locker at the end of the school year. This year the second day I had to drive him to school to get a paper signed he had "misplaced". Lesson learned? Nope.

  Since he's gotten a phone I've been called, texted and emailed at least once a week for something left somewhere. Homework, gym clothes, gloves and lunches. Sometimes even the phone! 

  Does this make him more disorganized than other kids his age? I don't think so. Teenagers have a lot on their plate. School, friends, parents, homework....all stressful. Add hormones to that and the results are sometimes not very pretty. 

  I think I would be worried more if he was focused and organized....with us as parents that would definitely mean he was switched at birth!

  Ang

***I brought him his lunch***

Little Miss Organized

  Once the novelty of the boys being back in school wears off, my mind always tell me to become more organized. Empty closets and clean cupboards fill my thoughts. Bathroom drawers sorted and dressers filled with clothes that actually fit. Unfortunately the reality never quite lives up to the dream.

  I would love to blame that on the fact that the basement is under repairs. Or that we are lacking in storage space. The simple truth is it's a hard task to start. And even harder to finish. Especially when you have been moving boxes around for years without ever having opened them. Who knows what has crawled in there and died?

  Wait I take that back. Starting isn't the problem. In fact I've started many, many times. A few boxes/containers have made it to the curb. There is just so many of them it is daunting long term. That's my reasoning this morning.

  John was doing a "one bag a day" purge in the basement. He would take a garbage bag and only come back upstairs when it was full. Which took no time at all. He did that for about a week and there wasn't even a noticeable dent down there. At least he tried.

  I'm going to give it another shot. With a new determination. A focus never before seen in this house.

  Maybe the thirtieth time's the charm.

  Ang

Thank You's

  Yesterday I was saddened to see so many comments on social media about how the United States didn't properly recognize Canada's help in the days after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Towers fifteen years ago. Even sadder was the fact they were written by Canadians. Could there actually be Canadian citizens who need to be patted on the back by the U.S. to feel worthy? Apparently so.

  Canada has a long standing friendship with the U.S.. We have been allies in many conflicts. Most of our policies, ideals and laws are similar. And as is commonly reported, we have the world's longest unprotected border.

  So why are so many people in need of assurance from our neighbor to the south? I'm not sure but maybe it's an inferiority complex on our part. We need big brother to say "great job" and "thank you". And not just once but over and over again. I doubt, based on what I read yesterday, they would ever be able to say it enough for some. 

  To me it's very sad. It's not like we did what we did for the glory. Or the thank you's. And absolutely we would do it all again even if we knew there wouldn't be one accolade. Ask any family who took in stranded travelers if they needed recognition and I'm confident the answer would be "of course not". Or any of the firefighters who went to help look for survivors.

  Show your confidence people of Canada. See yourselves as the world sees us. Strong. Kind. Caring. Always willing to help. The true north strong and free.

   We are Canadian and that's how we roll.

  Ang

"Canadian" Values?

  Right now, on the federal level, the Conservative Party has an interim leader. They are gearing up for a leadership convention some time in the not too distant future. And while I'm sure there will be lots of folks throwing their hats in the ring I'm a little concerned about one of them....ok more than one but I'm going to focus on just this one today. Her name is Kellie Leitch.

  To start with she is a surgeon. Awesome. Love to see smart women in politics no matter what party they represent. Among other things, Dr. Leitch was Vice President of CANFAR (AIDS research) and has a breast cancer golf tournament every year. All wonderful, amazing things.

  One paper she is smart, talented, philanthropic and well received. Well not all paper. See she put out a survey of sorts over the summer asking whether the Canadian government should " screen potential immigrants for anti-Canadian values". What does that mean??

  As a Canadian my "values" might not be the same as other Canadians. I know many folks born and raised here who are extremely intolerant of other religions and religion in general. While I embrace everyone's right to believe in whatever they so choose.

  Many people in this great country are anti-abortion. I am pro-choice. Most Canadians are hard working, honest people but we have more than our fair share of laziness and thieves. Same sex marriage still bugs a lot of people. As long as you don't ask me to pay for your wedding, no matter your orientation, not my business.

  Most people would say a love of hockey, maple syrup and politeness are Canadian values. Who am I to say they are wrong? Do you need to say "eh" or "aboat"....I know it's spelled wrong but it's so you get the pronunciation right.

  Immigration, in this age of fear, is a hot button topic. People are scared that terrorists are entering this country on a daily basis. I don't think that is the truth. And when I see children dying in refugee camps, freezing in the cold and being placed in boats by parents who know their chances of survival are small, I'm not quite sure I care so much if the vetting process is flawed or not.
  
  Take for example immigrants from Syria. If that was me and my country was being bombed, my kids lives threatened, family members killed, my home destroyed....I would win an Academy Award for best actress with the lies I would happily tell to come here.

  But when a government person, who wants to ultimately run the country, asks a loaded question about immigrants it should make us all stop. Putting it under the umbrella of National Security is under-handed and sneaky.

  Two values Canadians aren't known for.

  Ang

  

Routine 101

  There has been so much going on these past few days that I haven't had one free minute to write. There were lots of things that caught my interest but back-to-school takes precedent. 

  Yesterday I didn't want to break the silence that took over the house after the last child got on the bus. No tv, radio, music or my own voice to interrupt the peacefulness. Not even the soft clicking of the keyboard. Just sweet, blissful silence. The first day is always like that.

  The boys arrived home with information on new teachers and classrooms. Riley is in a new school and had so many stories to tell he didn't know where to begin. Alex has all new teachers and classmates. He, being 13, is not so excited about the start of another school year.

  Last night was a whirlwind of signatures. Reminders of school fees and agenda costs. Concussion protocol was a new one. Teachers sending home course outlines and student expectations. Alex has six teachers and Riley four so there was lots to read and digest.

  Yesterday the early morning went smoothly. Children up, showered, dressed and fed in record time. Teeth brushed, hair combed and sneakers on without a fight. Out the door to catch the school bus with minutes to spare. This morning....no alarm, fast breakfast, rush, rush, rush. What a difference a day makes.

  Back to routine. Peace and quiet become the norm. Early mornings made possible with coffee. Making sure there is something to fill an empty stomach at lunch and recess. 

  Oh wait those are my routines not the boys!

  Ang

  
   

$ Mine, Yours & Ours $

  Even before we got married John and I "shared" our money. We cashed our paycheques....yes this was before direct deposit, internet banking and the like...and the money went into our joint bank account. It never occurred to us to do it differently. Of course we had very little money so it wasn't an issue.

  But it has come to my attention over the years that we are in the minority. Lots of couples have a joint account where their bills come out of. Each partner is expected to put in "X" amount of cash each month. Then the rest is theirs to do with whatever they choose. Some save. Some spend. But it's none of the other's business.

  I'm not sure how that would work. What about unemployment? Or illness? What if one makes significantly less? And retirement saving? I would be furious if I saved lots for our golden years and he saved none. But that's just me.

  I get the idea of having "my own money". Not having to ask for cash from your spouse. Honestly in 27 years of marriage (gulp) I've never asked John's permission to buy anything, go anywhere or spend any amount of cash. Whether I was employed or not. He hasn't either. It's just not how our marriage works. 

  Since I'm now the stay-at-home parent my income is nil. That kind of arraignment wouldn't work out too well. Especially for me! 

  Do what works for you. Pay your bills. Make sure that mortgage payment doesn't bounce. Keep shoes on the kids feet and food on the table. One account, two or three, doesn't matter.

  Money is the number one cause of divorce so whatever you do....do it right!

  Ang