Know Them....Love Them

  When something goes wrong in my children's lives I take a second or two to think about my response before my reaction hits my face or leaves my lips. No matter the situation I take that time. It's the most important thing I do.

  The reason parenting advice doesn't work most of the time is that every single child is unique. What works for one doesn't necessarily guarantee success with another. The best and only advice that works every time is simple. Know your child. That's all.

  My kids, even though they drive me absolutely insane on a daily basis, are easy to read. They react to things like I do. Not so much John's reaction but mine. That's why those few seconds are so important.

  If my initial reaction is positive theirs will be as well. If I jump up and down, screaming and shouting....well that's what I'll see them do. Simple. Learning by example I suppose. Sometimes I wish they would look to John first. His reaction is much more reasonable most of the time.

  An injury, a bully or a disappointment all need a measured, well thought out response. Alex fell off a play structure, sprained an ankle and was in quite a bit of pain. His eyes are staring at my face waiting to see how bad it is. Based solely on my reaction. So it's very important that he sees everything is ok in my face....no matter how bad it really is.

   Saturday, at Riley's play, there was a mix up giving out certificates on stage. Everyone got one but him. I was devastated. And angry. Thankfully he couldn't see my face! However when he came to me afterwards he was excited about being on the stage. The over site meant nothing to him. When asked about it, he looked at me, again judging my reaction. I had to agree with him that it was no big deal and smile.

  In both cases they were relieved or felt better. Kids are easily influenced and we, as parents, need to be aware of that fact. Base your response on your child. You know them best.

  FYI.... I wanted to cry when I saw Alex's ankle bruised and swollen. And I wanted to slap the woman who "forgot" about Riley. 

  Boy I hope they take after their father!

  Ang