No Self Contol

  Hi my name is Angela and I have no self control. There I said it. Out loud too so there are witnesses. Accountability is a good thing right? Maybe I should have done this a long time ago.

  A few days ago I wrote about being a fiscally responsible adult. I was going to spend the year 2016 doing things differently financially. Translation...no vacations. None. Not even one. Except taking the kids to visit family in the summer.

  Yesterday an email came across the screen I just couldn't ignore. Another vacation. Over March break so the kids wouldn't miss any more school. Perfect. Still a bit higher than I would have liked but doable. A few phone calls later, I had the price down to a reasonable number. Put it on hold I said.

  At the 23 hour mark, they will hold it for 24 hours only, I called back to say "ok book it". The lady I spoke to yesterday wasn't available so another agent came on the line. As she was asking me a few more questions I asked about checking for an additional discount. That meant an extra phone call for her with who knew how long a wait time. She decided to call me back when she had the info. Great.

  While I was waiting something happened. Nothing short of an epiphany. I started jotting down additional costs. Extra hotels, food, parking and the big killer...currency exchange. I added it up quickly and saw what I always knew but couldn't accept. It wasn't a deal. Or doable. No way could I justify the cost. And I hadn't even included in the fact that my better half has no vacation time left so this would mean vacation without pay!

  With a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat, I told the agent to take the vacation off hold. Cancel it altogether. Take my dream and throw it out the window. Melodramatic I know but I felt awful. An entire winter without warmth and sunshine. How can I possibly survive it??

  As I dragged myself to the family room to give John the bad news I realized something. It wasn't bad news. In fact it was great news. I had made the right decision. I had exerted some self control. I made the best financial decision for my family long term. Good for me.

  So why do I feel so let down?

  Ang