We Made It

  Well we made it through the holidays! Some a few pounds heavier and with a hangover or two. But all in all we made it with only one more major celebration to go. 

  The kids loved their presents and so did John and I. Google Home was by far the family favorite. We highly recommend it. Throw in a video game and a Pittsburgh Penguins hockey jersey and you've got a win. 

  We saw almost all our friends and family by the 26th. A few were missed but there is always time in 2018 to get together. In fact I think we should have Christmas dinner in February since we haven't cooked a meal in a week. Thanks for all the invites folks we really did appreciate them all.

  But now we are gearing up for another celebration. As I type this we are in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania on our way to New York City where we are hopping on the Norwegian Breakaway heading south! I can feel the sunshine already even though it is crazy-ass cold here.

  Our main gift is this cruise and we are all in need of some time away. From home and each other. And for seven wonderful days we will relax, de-stress and and enjoy....our time away and each other.

  It's time to hit the pool and go to bed early. Trying to catch up on all the late nights so we can start all over again.

  To all my family and friends.... may the rest of 2017 be kind to you. Fill the remaining days with happiness, love and peace. Shower a years worth of love and joy into these last few days.

  To the world...I hope 2018 is a year of peace, civility and hope. That we have more joy than pain. More love than hate. More hope than despair. More kindness than fear. 

  🎆🎆HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!🎆🎆

  Ang

Ready

  It's almost 9 in the morning of December 23. I've had coffee and John is gone to the gym. Riley is listening to music and Alex is cleaning his room. All is relaxed and calm. We have no shopping to do. No wrapping. No decorating. No groceries to buy. Just a few gifts to deliver. How did this happen???

  I am always running this time of year. And getting no where. If you had asked me just two short days ago I would have had a list longer than my arm to get done. But somehow my organizational skills, which honestly do not exist, kicked in and everything fell into place. It's a Christmas miracle!!

  Now I can focus on the really important thing happening this time of year....our southern vacation!!! After a week of freezing cold temps I'm ready for some sunshine. And heat. Oooh how I've missed the warmth of the sun. As I fold and pack shorts and tees, I can feel myself shaking off the cold and snow like a snake sheds skin.

  Doing laundry isn't a chore today. It's a privilege. Cleaning isn't filled with swear words about the amount of "stuff" we have but rather humming and the occasional song. All is merry and bright.

  I need to cut this short....gotta go look for sunscreen! 

  Ang

Finger's Crossed

   During this holiday season there are many military members who will not be with their family. They will be far from home watching their children open their gifts over Skype or Face Time. Eating a turkey dinner in a tent or a hotel instead of with Mom & Dad. Keeping you safe. Keeping strangers safe. Being heroes.

  Please remember this today when the announcement from Veteran's Affairs Minister Seamus O'Regan comes out. If the rumors are true, and I really hope they are not, another government is letting them down once they are retired. Just like the last government did. We owe them more than that.

  There are many great programs in place to help veteran's. Especially for those who have catastrophic injuries. I'm not saying there isn't. But life-long payments, without a financial cap, need to be returned. Yes it will cost a lot of money. Absolutely. But it is our responsibility to take care of these brave men and women. For their entire lives. No matter the cost. 

  Soldiers are ready and willing to give their lives to defend us and Canada. Without question. Why aren't we willing to take care of them for the rest of their lives because they didn't?

  Ang

Try

  This is the time of year when we should all be counting our blessings and being at our happiest. The operative word there is "should". Because from what I've seen over the past few days it is not the case. Not even close.

  You've probably been in either a grocery or mall parking lot over the past week. It's a nightmare. Stop signs are being ignored as are people. Cars will run over you to get to a parking spot. And apparently there is an influx of pregnant men in Ottawa since I've seen more of them parked in the "expectant mother's" spot than women. Isn't medical science wonderful?

  Now that you have finally made it into the store alive, the real fun begins. All around you folks are spending money they don't have, buying gifts they don't need, for people who won't appreciate them. And it shows. Their faces can't hide the stress of the season. Their patience is gone and they don't pretend otherwise. Angry glares and rolling eyes are everywhere. Carts become weapons and the first one to the checkout wins the battle. All the while Christmas carols are playing in the background preaching peace and love. Ironic huh?

  Of course it's not everyone. Not even close. But we tend to focus on those that impact our day in a bad way. I'm not sure why but we are all guilty of it. It would be just as easy to focus on the good as the bad. We don't though so I guess that says a lot about us too.

  Try to be patient. Try to see the good in any situation. Try to treat people in the manner you want to be treated. 

  It's hard I know but try.

  Ang

  

  

  

Holiday Blues

  While some of us think this is the most wonderful time of the year, for many it is the loneliest. There are many people who struggle through the holidays alone, without friends or family. Depression seems to go hand in hand with the month of December. But we can all help. And it won't cost us a penny.

  Neighbors, especially the elderly, are the most obvious. Knock on their door. Invite them for a meal or a cup of coffee at your house. Call them when you are decorating your tree or making holiday cookies. Take an hour break from shopping and sit and chat. About nothing at all. You cannot imagine the difference it will make.

  Look at your circle of friends. Chances are one of them has lost a loved one or gotten divorced or separated in the past year. This will be an especially difficult time with it being a "first". Send them a card, write them a note. Pick up the phone. Invite them to things. Drive around looking at Christmas lights with them. Offer to babysit. You don't have to do anything huge just include them. Keep them from feeling isolated and alone. 

  When you know someone is depressed before the holidays try to help take the stress off of them. Show up and get them to take a walk with you. Volunteer to help decorate their home or do a cookie exchange. Something to get them into the spirit without the stress. You won't "fix" their depression but you can help them manage it. Even in a small way.

  Don't forget to take care of your own mental health this holiday season either. It doesn't matter how you decorate, or what gifts you buy or the paper you wrap them in. You won't remember how dry the turkey was or the fact that you ran out of red wine. The kids will live without the expensive gifts and home-made gingerbread houses. Be present. That is the true gift of the holidays. 

  And like I promised, it won't cost you a cent!

  Ang

  

First World Problem

  I woke up this morning stressed. My brain seemed to know instinctively that my Christmas to-do list is longer than my arm and I'm still on item #2. Somehow my sub-conscience knew that time is running out while my physical self said no worries. Well it's time to start listening to that "inner voice"...actually it was time last month but hey nobody's perfect.

  The hardest part of Christmas shopping is the parcels going east. All three grandparents want nothing in the line of gifts. Yet their list of things they don't want is a mile long. No knick-knacks, nothing that must be dusted, no clothes, no kitchen utensils, no jewelry, no.....you get my meaning. Every single thing I've seen that I thought they might like falls under the "don't buy me" category. 

  I thought I would donate a goat from each of them. You buy for a family and they can sell the milk to pay for schooling, clothing and food. It's a great program which can easily change the lives of an entire family. For under $100! What could be easier than that? Except....I want there to be something under the tree that needs to be unwrapped. It would be sad if there was nothing to open December 25. So my dilemma continues, even with a goat.

  Every year it becomes harder and harder. They have downsized and donated/sold/thrown out most of their stuff. And they certainly do not want more stuff to replace it. I can't blame them for that. 

  So my struggle continues. I'm going out into the cold and snow to look yet again for the perfect gift for people who don't want one. 

  This is a first world problem if I ever saw one!

  Ang

  

Harassment ...A Few More Thoughts

  Have you had conversations with your friends or family about these never ending sexual harassment claims? Are you ever shocked by their response? Do you give a "pass" so to speak to those who are very old? Does it make you angry when women are unsympathetic? And defeated when men are?

  I was trying to explain to my husband last night that I am angrier at the women who don't support the accusers than I am at the men who have been the harassers. I say this with 100% belief...men cannot comprehend what women go through on a daily basis. No man can. Yes, yes, yes they can sympathize and have empathy for us but they cannot fully understand it. But other women? We ALL know what's what. The fact that we cannot support each other is maddening.

  Take Pamela Anderson's comments this week. As someone who has earned a living based on her sexuality, one would think she would be the poster child for sympathy. Nope. Instead she went to the old adages....going to a hotel room for an audition, what did you think would happen, why would she ever do that....blah blah blah. The only thing she didn't say was "what was she wearing"?! We've all heard these comments said at rape trials over the years. As if as women we aren't entitled to wear whatever we want, go where ever we want and meet whom ever we want. I couldn't believe what I was reading.

  If women can't support each other in this how are we ever going to get men to behave like respectful human beings? If women can't give each other the benefit of the doubt, how do we get those men in power to change their ways? 

  Women are on the brink of a massive change. For the first time in history, we have joined together from all walks of life and shown the powerful men who feel they can say, or do, anything to us, that there are consequences to their actions. That harassment will not be tolerated. Not by us or by their employers. That the harassment will be dealt with swiftly. That you will lose your job and position and the entire world will be made aware of your actions. What a great ending to 2017!


   Except, of course, if you are #45!

  Ang

  

Promises Promises

  Sometimes promises are hard to keep. Especially those we make to ourselves. While we have the best of intentions when making them, it's living up to our own words that is the challenge. I learn this lesson every year around this time then promptly forget it come December 26th. 

  Every single year I promise myself that the next year will be different. I will not wait til the last second to shop. The entire year will be my Christmas shopping season. Hard to buy for family and friends will be bought, wrapped and shipped before the first snow fall. Every single year I say it. Every single year I prove myself a liar.

  Here I am on December 5th coming to terms with my dishonest self again. There are no purchases. No wrapping done. Not a single box has gone to the post office. It's deflating. And stressful. Let's not forget stressful. 

  Why is it John doesn't feel that same stress? He isn't shopping for gifts. Not even coming up with ideas for presents. He doesn't wrap them. Or take them to the post to be shipped. He doesn't input on the kids gifts or those for his parents. Why does he get off the hook? Hmmmm I need to think about that some more.

  Right now I am going to keep a promise I made myself just a few hour ago....I'm going shopping! Wish me luck.

  Ang

My News Feed

  Once again a few things popped up in my news feed that drove me nuts. While some days that is easily accomplished, today's are just plain annoying. People need to know when to stop talking....a crazy thing for someone to say who writes and rants on a regular basis I know!

  Jay Z... shut up about being unfaithful to your wife. You have three children with this woman. They will google you at some point and this NY Times interview will come up. You are speaking about their Mom. Show the respect for her now that you obviously didn't have when you were cheating on her.

  I love to see a happy couple. But the fact that Meghan Markle didn't wear pantyhose at her engagement photo-op is not news! Yes the Queen wears them. Yes Kate does too. Is this the end of the world? Of course not. And to all those women who bought the now famous white coat she wore for the announcement....what the hell? It's a white trench coat! You can buy them anywhere. Just this once though I'm giving you a pass since the designer was Canadian.

  Angela Lansbury....sigh. I don't know what to say. You are a product of your age I suppose. I wish I could explain to you why so many woman took offence to what you said. This is another example why women don't come forward when something happens. If Mrs. Potts and Jessica Fletcher don't have our backs who will?

  If you re-tweet something from a racist site that incites hatred towards a group of people....you are a racist. There is no way to defend it. That is who you are. Whether you are sitting in your parents basement or leading a country.

  Well that was just a few of them. I'm sure you had some too. Maybe tomorrow will be less annoying. But I doubt it!

  Who knew pantyhose still existed!!

  Ang

  

WTH....Matt Lauer??

  Matt Lauer has been fired. Just like that, the Today show started the morning reading a statement about his firing for sexual misconduct. Now we are hearing that the NY Times has been investigating allegations. Is this NBC's attempt to get out in front of a scandal? Probably but I'm taking it as a sign that companies are waking up to what women have known for years....it's not easy to be a woman in the work place. Or anywhere else for that matter.

  Women are used to men, and women, looking at places other than our faces when they are speaking to us. Yes it's sad to say but we are. Many times we make comments like "My eyes are up here" or "What are you looking at". But most of the time we say nothing. Why? Because it happens so often. Ask any woman with a B cup or higher. 

  While we must protect ourselves when out in public, at work there are supposed to be protections in place for everyone's security. Not just women's but for the men being accused as well because not every accusation is based on an actual event. That is a very hard thing to say but it's true. 

  In the workplace, women need to have each others back. Not the cattiness we are known for. But sharing information on harassment between ourselves and to the proper authorities. And I can't stress this enough....believing each other! No one should ever make false allegations as it takes away from those who are struggling with coming forward. 

  One other thing I've noticed....many of these men have daughters. How do you explain those allegations to them? And your spouse? They too have, or will, experience harassment. Will they believe you? That's a tough one. Can you love and share your life with someone and still believe they are capable of such behavior? I'm not sure I could believe anyone who said my husband was guilty of such a thing. 

  Thankfully I will never have to answer that question myself.

  Ang

  

Reminiscing

 As we come into the Christmas season, I'm becoming quite sentimental, which isn't me most of the time. My mind turns to other friends and family I haven't seen or heard from in years. Those that are still here and those that sadly are not. 

  Of course my Dad is the number one person on my mind. Dad loved Christmas lights like no one else. I would jokingly say that the astronauts on the International Space Station could see his house as they circled the earth. And I wasn't necessarily kidding. He also liked a good turkey dinner but one meal was enough. No hot turkey sandwiches for him. I wish my kids could have one more memory to cherish. But he lives on in Alex's weird sense of humor and Riley's slurping of soup. 

  I would love to have a party where Tom, Lew, Charmaine, Joyce and Catherine are guests. Janice, Vince, Darlene, Ralph and Donna would be there too. We would laugh and catch up. Then laugh some more. Maybe have a beverage or two.

  My next party would bring my family together. Our big extended family. Those by choice not blood. Janet & Dan would be there with Will & Tammy. Hugh & Heather would bring Nicole and Erin. Joe would meet Verna & John. The Laugher clan would hang out with Darrell who would tell them stories of us as 20 somethings. Angie Kelly would be there with her infectious laugh....even though she is Mrs. Landry now she will forever be a Kelly to me. What an evening this would be!

  The final soiree would be all our blood family. All at one table. Eating, laughing and reminiscing. Brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles. Everyone. No one would argue. No one would cry except tears of laughter. We'd take pictures where everyone looked happy and content. From the oldest, Granddad, to the youngest, Vada, we would have the time of our lives. The best Christmas ever.

  But those are just dreams. We won't all physically be in the same place this year. In fact we never all will. It's hard enough getting siblings together let alone extended family. This year though we can all be together in our hearts if nowhere else.

  So can all of you. Call, text, Facetime or Skype. Find a way. Don't let the miles stop you from enjoying those still on this planet. And fondly remember those who are not. 

  Ang

Thanksgiving

   In celebration of Thanksgiving for our friends to the south, ours was last month, I have compiled a list of things I am thankful for. 

  I am very thankful for my furnace this chilly morning. Living in Canada means at least four months of frigid temperatures. It doesn't mean we have to like it though. With the days getting colder and colder, it's probably the most important thing in our house.

  My slow cooker has a special place in my heart these days. Before the sun comes up, dinner is made and will be ready at the perfect time. I only discovered this life-altering appliance a few years ago but it's now my go-to at least twice a week in the winter.

  The heated seats in my car are a real blessing. While it takes a while for the car to defrost, the heat is almost instantaneous from the seats. I like that. A lot. Now if only the price of gas would lower.

  I'm thankful for my friends. They not only keep me sane but more importantly, out of jail. When I've hit my limit for stupidity they haul me back from the brink. No small feat let me tell you. 

  Most importantly I'm thankful for my family. The three amazing men I live with most of all. They drive me crazy and are the entire reason I have grey hair. Yet they bring more happiness to my life than I ever could have imagined!

  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  Ang

Why?

  Why is it when a woman questions a man, he immediately feels threatened? It doesn't matter the topic. It can be something small...like who is responsible for a certain program or how something is done...the glare in your direction is almost a given. In some cases that turns into correcting you on every misspeak and in as public a form as possible. It's childish and pitiable. 

  Why are men believed while women must have proof? Seventeen women said they were harassed by Donald Trump...he is elected President. Several women, some were children when the harassment began, came forward about Roy Moore...he is supported by the party of "family values". One man accuses Kevin Spacey....all hell breaks loose. 

  Why is the world run by older, rich, white men? What makes them more qualified? Are they smarter? More able to solve the world's problems? If you look back in history we will see that is not the case. Many major, and minor, conflicts were started by leaders who fit that description! They don't seem to show the required skills to keep us free and at peace. And you know what they say....history repeats itself.

  Why do men feel they have the right to treat us with disrespect? Is it because we let them? Perhaps some women do. Some women see the big picture and let things pass instead of speaking up for fear of consequences. Either response is not acceptable since it sends a message to men that we are okay with the behavior. With the amount of complaining we do to each other it is obvious we are not!

  Why will men's first response to these questions be "That's not me!"? Is it because they are being questioned? If so please go back to paragraph one and begin again. 

  Ang

**Of course this isn't ALL men but it's more common than you may think.  Women live a different experience than men do. Don't believe me? Ask any woman in your life. She will tell you.**

No I in Team

  Teachers have my unwavering support 24/7/365. I am their biggest supporter and defend them at every turn. They have one of the hardest and most important jobs on the planet. Their dedication is unwavering and their accomplishments are in someone else's achievements. So when I complain about them I have a real complaint.

  Alex's report card came home last week. It was not anything close to what we expected. To say we were shocked would not convey our disbelief. Not because we think our oldest is an A student, we are well aware of his short comings and strengths. But my policy has always been to not worry til a teacher tells me to worry. And no one gave us any indication we should be worried. Well we are worried now.

   Alex is not failing. But he is below what the Ministry wants every student to achieve in two subjects. Shouldn't I have heard from a teacher? Long before this? I have been told there is no set policy as to when a teacher contacts parents over their students. Maybe there should be. 

  I spoke with the vice principal about this. That's how I know he is below where they want him to be and that there is no policy on contact. She did say something interesting. Teachers sometimes make a "professional judgement call". They decide if there is real reason for concern or that the student is just getting their feet under them slower than expected. Hmmmm I think that over half way through the semester is too long to be getting your footing. 

  Today one of the two teachers called me. She was unapologetic about not contacting us. She believes he will improve if he spends more time and energy on his work. That however was not in his report. He can go for extra help during lunch three days a week. That was not on his report either. While I believe she wants him to succeed, she was obviously never going to contact us. That shocks me a little.

  I have learned a valuable lesson. We aren't in middle school anymore. I need to change my expectations of Alex's teachers. And I need to be making appointments to see every teacher whenever the opportunity arises. I need to hold them just as accountable as I do Alex.

  Let me wrap it up by saying this....Alex's marks are NOT the teachers fault. They are his and his alone. He is the one doing the listening, homework and studying. Or lack there-of. We, Alex, his teachers and us, all have to be part of the same team. 

  At this moment it looks like the team let itself down!

  Ang

  

2 Days Later

  Saturday morning at 11 o'clock, millions of Canadians stood silently for two minutes. They remembered the sacrifices that were made for their freedom. Looking at Veterans, now in their late 80's and 90's, and seeing them as young soldiers fighting for what they believed was right. We, as a country, were proud. And thankful.

  Today all Federal government workers are enjoying a paid day off because this day of remembrance fell on a Saturday. Yes you read that correctly. Federal employees are sleeping in, going out for breakfast, getting their cars fixed and putting up their Christmas lights instead of working today. 

  I suppose I could say that soldiers fought for these workers freedom to negotiate the best deal for themselves. I could say that this is not the fault of the workers but of the government and the unions who wrote this into contracts. But I won't because this makes me angry. Very angry.

  Are we to assume these workers "sacrificed" their Saturday off to go to a cenotaph so they deserve today off?  Most of the country did that AND went to work this morning. Without ever thinking they were "sacrificing" anything. 

  Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Family Day...they are days focused on ideals or religious events. Remembrance Day is about a small group of people, and getting smaller every passing year, who made, or are willing to make, the ultimate sacrifice for this country. Nothing else. 

  The idea that it means a long weekend for government workers if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday is ludicrous.

  Ang

  **FYI....My husband is a Veteran AND a government employee. It never occurred to him that today would be a day off.**

The Same But Different

  At first glance, Canadians and their neighbors south of the border, seem pretty much the same. But that couldn't be farther from the truth. While we may share some core values and ideals, it's becoming more and more evident, we are polar opposites on other really important ones.

  Canadians believe that access to healthcare is a right, NOT a privilege. The idea of deciding between seeing a doctor and eating is insane to us. In the U.S. if you are born with an illness you may not be able to get insurance your entire life! Imagine that. I'm not saying our system is perfect, far from it, but no one dies here because they cannot afford to see a doctor.

  Guns. Another topic we both understand and can't fathom. Canadians own guns and while we complained about the gun registry, we did it, for the most part. Hand guns are rare in this country while they are as common as minivans in the U.S.. Automatic rifles are for the police and military here. According to a Republican politician I saw on tv a few days ago, they can also be used for hunting. Really? Really?? A good hunter needs one bullet not fifty.

  Religion in politics is another area we are miles apart on. Can anyone name what religion our past three Prime Minister's were? Or say that it mattered? We have no interest in our leaders church-going habits. Nor should we. There is a definite separation between church and state that we don't see in the United States. For good reason. Politics are about all of us. Religion is personal. We allow it to stay that way.

  National pride is a big one. One of the first things I notice when I cross the border is the amount of flags I see. Almost every house has one flying. That is a rarity here. People talk about living in the greatest country and how they are world leaders. We don't do that. At least not enough. However if you travel the world you will find that Canada is much more respected than the U.S....especially this past year. We are universally considered to be decent, helpful and brave. I guess we let our actions speak for us.

  I love travelling south. I've never had an issue anywhere we've gone in the United States. We've always been treated with kindness and respect. When folks find out I'm Canadian, there is always a story of a visit to, or a visitor from, Canada that was so nice. That word, nice, is always used. Always. 

  We are the same....but different. That's a good thing for a country to be!

  Ang
  


  

Be An Adult

  Once I was having a conversation about indigenous peoples with someone who believes Canada should wipe the slate clean and say it's over. I knew this was going down a bad path so I attempted to change the subject. Again and again the conversation would return to the exact spot where he felt I must agree...which was never going to happen. I would change the topic to something else but he was determined. Finally I just stopped talking. I concentrated on my dinner as if I hadn't eaten in months.

  After several minutes of what I would call ranting, the table was quiet. And uncomfortable. Everyone was aware it had gone too far. I continued eating and then casually asked if anyone watched Wallander on Netflix. With a new, safe topic to discuss, things returned to normal. Well sort of. 

  Everyone there learned a valuable lesson. Yes we were all friends. Yes we had agreed on many subjects over the years but we were all different. And we all had different opinions on controversial subjects. Some of which we could never discuss. Ever. At least not civilly.

  As I think of that night, I'm wondering what would have been the outcome if I hadn't been the adult? Where would the conversation have ended? Would we still be friends? Would I have been shouted down til I could no longer look at my friend anymore? Most importantly would he ever have been the adult? I would really like to think so.

  Some people of course can't do it. They must be right. At all costs. If that means shouting you down, well so be it. Friends, family, total strangers. Doesn't matter. They will continue til you cave to their way of thinking or you leave. Either way they feel they have "won". 

  We must all strive to be adults. The stakes are very high if we don't. And we must be able to recognize those who can't be and keep them out of positions of power. 

  Ang

  

  




  

Wisdom of the Crowd

  Last night I started watching Wisdom of the Crowd. It's a great show about social media and how it could be used to solve crimes. While it is a work of fiction created by Ted Humphrey, it's not so far fetched. 

  Social media follows our every move. Thinking about a winter get-a-way? Check out a few websites and chances are the next time you check Facebook there will be a post from a hotel or airlines. I get shoes ads daily...no idea how they got there...wink wink. Twitter suggests things daily based on who you follow and what you like or re-tweet.  Big brother is now a reality.

  So why wouldn't the police use this network of amateur detectives to help solve crimes? It could be done so easily. Just last week a local restaurant posted a CCTV picture of two men who didn't pay their $100+ bill on their Facebook site, which I don't follow, but within an hour of them posting I saw the photo. All of my "friends" two hundred plus "friends" saw it too. If only one of them shared it that could be over a thousand people from one share! What an easy way to get info out.

   Lots of people "check in" when they go to a restaurant, theater, bar etc. I see it immediately on your feed. I know you are not at home. Or worse yet you check in from an airport or a Caribbean resort. Now I know you are gone for at least a few days. If I'm a criminal well I've picked my next target. It's an easy way to pick them. Don't believe me? Ask Kim Kardashian. The idea that the police can use the same information for good is heart-warming.

  We are all guilty of sharing too much. Sharing our lives with friends and relatives who live far away via social media is technology at it's best in my opinion. But it comes with a cost. We lose privacy. And our own addiction to these platforms is to blame for our loses. I've heard this statement from many, many people...if it's not on Facebook/Twitter/Snapchat/Instagram it didn't happen! Interesting.

  I'm okay with the police using my social media activities to solve crimes. At least my many hours on line wouldn't be just wasted time!

  Ang

A Few Thoughts

  Today I have a few thoughts on a few things. Here goes.....

  Kevin Spacey....WTH???? I would think that as a gay man I wouldn't have to tell you this but apparently I am wrong. Being gay does not make you a pedophile. Or sexually aggressive. Or give you permission to attack a child. In fact by coming out as an apparent explanation as to why you attacked a child, you have given ammunition to those who hate gay people and believe "they" are all pedophiles. Way to go!

  Sarah Huckabee Sanders....two words....Sean Spicer. Plan ahead for your career. The entire world looks at you while shaking their heads. We feel sorry for you. But we know you lie, every single day. Not a great career move.

  Whomever sells ads at BBC Canada...you have the greatest sense of humor. Watch Father Brown and you'll see what I'm talking about. So ironic.

  CNN's Chris Cuomo...you are on a news program not an entertainment show. Please speak as if you are trying to give us facts not the most recent updates on The Bachelor. Or let Alisyn Camerota do all the talking.

  Dear Stephen Harper...please take a page from former U.S. leaders and don't comment on what the person who took your place is doing. It looks petty. You didn't want Paul Martin questioning your choices did you? Show some class.

  Quebec government....smarten the hell up! Your State Religious Neutrality Law is unconstitutional, bigoted and mean. How does taking away people's rights give them more rights?? It reminds me of Trump's Travel Bans. Ignorant and wrong.

  One more thing...to every single grocery, pharmacy or corner store who starts selling Halloween candy in September....we, everyone over the age of 20, hate you. With a passion. 

  Happy Halloween everyone!

  Ang

  
   

5 Friends

  Yesterday I had five teenage boys hanging out at my dining room table. There was a lot of food eaten...especially Halloween candy and chicken fingers. Laughter rang through the house for hours on end. Raised voices. More laughter. Chairs scraping across the hardwood floor, making room for another hand in the candy bowl. What could these five long haired, gangling teens be doing on a rainy Sunday afternoon?

  Playing Dungeons and Dragons of course! What else? A Halloween version crafted by own son. They played for hours. Creating characters and evolving story lines. And laughing. Lots and lots of laughing. 

  Peeking in through the door you would see blue hair, scarred faces, a flower child and hats. Yes they dressed for the occasion. They looked young and carefree. And happy, very happy.

  Being fourteen is hard. So many things are changing. Responsibilities are increasing both at home and school. They are starting to figure out who they are and who they want to be...they just aren't sure how to get there. Everything is hanging by a hormone guided thread.

  But for a few hours yesterday, sitting at a table, playing D&D, they were carefree kids again. No worries. No cares. Just five friends laughing and having fun. 

  Just how it should be. 

  Ang

**I really wanted to say 5 nerds but Alex would kill me ;) **

One Dozen

  There are 7.5 billion people on earth....and I like about a dozen! That is a meme I saw the other day but it fits my life perfectly at the moment. One of the benefits of getting older is that you prioritize your life. You know what is important and what isn't. And you have neither the time nor the patience to deal with what isn't.

   A big part of life is pretending. We listen to people when we wish they would just stop talking. We pretend that something doesn't bother us when we are seething inside. And we smile when we want to scream. Every single day we hold back and put up with things we really don't want to. Some days I swear I could win an Academy Award!

  As we get older, and hopefully wiser, we do it less and less. At least for the unimportant things, and people, in our lives. We don't mean to be rude....we just don't have the time. People who are living made-up-drama lives tend to fall to the wayside. Those needy people who want our validation on everything...gone. Not because we hate them but because we want to spend our precious free time on things we find important.

  It sounds a little selfish doesn't it? I guess it is. So what! Don't we deserve that? All of us. We spend many years putting everyone and everything ahead of ourselves. Why is it wrong to put ourselves front and center for a while? It's not and we need to do it more often. Especially women. I only wish we learned this valuable lesson at an earlier age. And that we could teach it to our kids. 

  A "dozen" sounds like a lot doesn't it? Some days!

  Ang

Mine...All Mine!

  In  exactly seven days I will own my car. The last payment comes out November 1 and I can't wait. It's been a long four years for me. I am aware that in the grand scheme of things, people make much higher payments for much longer terms. How they do it I don't know. It drove me crazy!!

  My car was expensive. Or at least I thought it was. When I told people my monthly payment they scoffed at the amount. Most rolled their eyes and said "I wish!" So what exactly is the average person paying per month on a vehicle? Obviously much more than I am....or should I say was. 

  Vehicles are the biggest purchase most of us make except for a house. More thought goes into what car to drive than most people do on their homes. We look at a house no more than twice normally and decide whether we want to live there or not. But we research a car. Gas mileage, reliability, maintenance packages. We look at many styles, colors and models. We take test drives on the highway and city streets. We ask our friends what they have and how happy they are with their choice. Then we test drive again.

  Now that there is a light at the end of my payment tunnel I keep thinking about what to do with the extra money each month. My mind goes immediately to vacations, paid off credit cards and extra Christmas presents. I think Michael Kors and new clothes. 

  Please just don't let it go on car repairs....that wouldn't be fair!

  Ang

City Girl

  This past weekend I spent time with some friends in a cottage at Mt. Tremblant, a ski resort area about two hours from Ottawa. The weather was gorgeous, the scenery breathtaking and the lake calming and peaceful. All in all a wonderful weekend. Spent with wonderful people. And in all that peace and tranquility I realized something, I'm a city girl who can only take so much quiet and calmness. 

  Let me first say I would go anywhere with these ladies. To the busiest downtown core or the remotest of wildernesses. I'm in. But if I had to move tomorrow I would definitely pick a city. The larger the better. I've grown accustomed to having everything in close proximity. And I do mean everything. Theaters, restaurants, shopping. Galleries, recreation facilities, specialty food shops. You name it, I want to be able to get there quickly.

  I missed the noise. The sirens, cars, people and horns. I missed dogs barking, garbage trucks and transit buses. Everything that has become part of the background noise of my life. Which explains why I was excited to see the helicopter land next door. Quiet makes me just a little bit nervous. Too many episodes of Criminal Minds I suppose.

  We all have our ideal places. I love anything on the ocean. Watching the waves. It's not always loud there but something about the movement and the sound puts me in my happy place. Maybe some day it will be where I live. Ideally within walking distance of a city center. Fingers crossed.

  But one thing I will never like about country living...no street lights!!! Who lives like that??

  Ang

  
   
  

They Know

  Another day another Trump gaff. But this one bothers me more than most. Why? Because I'd heard the same phrase for years. Twenty five years at least. And no matter who said it, it still made my blood boil.

  President #45 called a grieving widow on her way to meet her husbands casket at an air force base in Florida. Sgt. La David T. Johnson had been killed on October 4 in Niger. In my opinion, this was the wrong time to call but who knows the reason behind the strange timing. The offensive statement, to both the family and to me, was "He knew what he was signing up for". 

  I have hated those eight words since John and I started dating quite a few years ago! Alone at Christmas...he knew what he was signing up for. Fifty degree plus temperatures hauling grain to starving people...he knew what he was signing up for. Working thirty six hours straight in a blizzard because someone got lost snowmobiling...he knew what he was signing up for. The same phrase over and over again. Was that supposed to help? Or a not so subtle way to tell me to stop complaining?

   Being part of the military is an honor and those who enlist do so with the full knowledge that their lives are never going to be "normal".  They are fully aware that they will spend long stretches of time away from home. They will miss holidays, birthdays, funerals, Sunday dinners, weddings, soccer games, dance recitals and they accept it. Even losing their lives. They know what they signed up for.

  What they didn't expect was that the country they have sworn to protect and defend would use such callous words to explain away their feelings. But to say it to a widow? On the way to claim a soldiers body? That never, ever would have crossed their minds. And certainly not by their own Commander and Chief! But with this one I guess it's no surprise.

  Don't use the words. They won't help. They won't change the reality of separation, injury and death. What they will do is make these brave women and men, and their families, resent you, and your callousness, to their circumstances.

  Sgt. La David T. Johnson may you finally be at peace.

  Ang


  

#MeToo

  Social media is flooded with the hashtag MeToo over the last few days. No matter the profession, education, wealth, religion, social status...there it is. Highlighting just how common sexual harassment really is. Sadly I'm not surprised.

  Without having to ask, I would bet every single woman I know has experienced this. And I'd even go so far as to say more than once. It would be their reaction to it that I wouldn't be sure of. I've been told by some friends that they brushed it off, said nothing and went about their business. Others went to bosses and human resources. Some accepted it as "part of the job". 

  But let me make something very, very clear here. It doesn't matter how they reacted, or how long it took them to. Whether they spoke out immediately or waited for years. They had their reasons and we, women, need to understand that we are not all going to react the same way to any situation. And we cannot judge their actions. We can't. To do so makes them victims yet again. 

  Perhaps you would have gone immediately to the boss and demanded action. Maybe you don't have kids who need shoes or have rent that is late already but your coworker does. You may have food in the fridge and money in the bank but that clerk at the mall doesn't. "She" might have fears and experiences you have no clue about. We haven't walked in her shoes. We cannot judge her.

  Look at the "successful" women in Hollywood who said nothing. Those who had money and family to back them up. Did Gwyneth Paltrow have to put up with it for financial reasons? Nope. Or Angelina Jolie? Were they scared their careers would be ruined? Absolutely. They had their reasons for staying silent and now they are being heralded as brave for coming forward. We need to give the "average" woman the same respect...maybe more.

  Every woman who uses that hashtag does so from a different point of view.  From different life experiences. From different expectations. Not yours. Not mine. Theirs. And we need to support their healing. Not judge their reasoning.
  
  If we learn anything from this it should be to support, unconditionally, the women around us on this issue. And to raise our sons better.

  Much better.

  Ang

  

  

70 days

  Brace yourselves....there are only 70 days til Christmas! That's right I said the "C" word in October. Before Halloween. Before Remembrance Day. Before cold weather. Before snow. 

  The days and weeks, OK OK months, leading up to December 24 and beyond are my favorite. I love decorating the house. Finding new places for old things. Finding new things for old places. And the tree. Nothing makes me happier than sitting in front of the tree at night with all the lights on. It doesn't even need ornaments, just lights. 

  Wrapping presents, whether they come from the dollar store or Tiffany's, is so much fun. Making them un-guessable to little hands is especially fun. An iPod put in a box then into another box, then another and another keeps an excited child guessing for hours. Then when it's time to finally open that box, the look of sheer joy when they realize they got exactly what they wanted when they were convinced they did not is priceless!

  I can't wait to have the fireplace going with carols in the background. The boys playing Jingle Bells on the piano. Bowls of ornaments on every counter and the smell of cinnamon pine cones as you walk up to my front door. 

  But most importantly let's stop making fun of those of us who love the season and can't wait for it to come! Leave us alone...please. We are well aware we have a problem. You don't need to remind us. 

  Michelle and Sheena....I've got your back!

  Ang

  

Why Rehab???

  I only have one question I want answered on this whole Harvey Weinstein scandal....what is he going to rehab for? Will he have withdrawals and crave saying something inappropriate? Maybe he will be given drugs to control his urges to grope women? What is he going to rehab for???

  Being a predator is not something that can be "cured" with a month long stay at a facility with like minded folks. Jail terms are much longer and they come out most of the time exactly as they went in. Organic foods and yoga are not going to help. Could meditation and therapy help? Maybe but no guarantee.

  In this case he is trying to save his career pure and simple. The guy has been a predator for many, many years. That is who he is. He knowingly used his power to dominate, manipulate and influence women who wanted success in their field. Pure and simple. 

   Sometimes doing the right thing is the toughest thing. Especially for the victims. Fear of losing everything makes a lot of women put up with many things. We cannot blame those who don't come forward...we are not in their shoes and certainly don't know their circumstances. Let's not judge them. 

   So from here forward lets try this. Women speak out. Every single time. Protect each other. When it happens to you tell your co-workers. Never let them be alone with the predator. Be brave and be willing to sacrifice so that others won't have to. And those who do sacrifice....the rest of us will have your back. We have to help pay your bills, feed your kids and help you out in any way we can. After all we owe you.

   Twenty bucks says he will return from rehab a changed and better man. In his mind anyway.

  Ang


  

  

Positive Thoughts...and Words

  I have been very delinquent lately. These past few weeks I've had much to say about things going on in my life but have chosen to stay quiet, not an easy thing to do I assure you. Everything I wrote was a little bitter. A little angry. And while there is nothing wrong with anger sometimes it does no good either. That's where I was heading.

  People I was coming into contact with were behaving childishly and for whatever reason I wasn't able to move past it like I always do. Must be old age I guess. They were desperate to have their own way...no matter who disagreed and no matter the reason. Then when they were called on their childish behavior they became nasty, petty and talked badly about whoever it was that questioned them. You know...teenage behavior. And it made me angry.

  But not today. Today is about being positive. Seeing the good in people. After the Thanksgiving holiday it seems wrong to focus on the bad and not the good. 

  Ang

Thoughts & Prayers

  Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and families of the shooting in Las Vegas. 

  Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and families of the shooting in Orlando.

  Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and families of the shooting in Sandy Hook.

  Our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and families of the shooting in Columbine. 

  How have thoughts and prayers helped? Beyond some peace for the survivors perhaps. Maybe something to take comfort in when trying to deal with the reality of loss. But they haven't stopped the next massacre. Or the next. Or the next. It's not enough. Not even close.

  The time for thoughts and prayers has past. Action, and maybe a great deal of anger is what is needed now. 

  Ang   

  

 

   

Another Organic Rant

  While drinking my first coffee in a week, I read an article about organic food and how we, parents, are killing our kids feeding them pesticide riddled meals. And I've had it. Stop trying to make us feel like failures. Stop trying to scare us and blame us for health issues in our kids futures. Just STOP!

  You know who can afford to eat 100% organic and healthy? Rich people. Or folks with high paying jobs who have no children. The rest of us? Not a chance. Why? Because organic food is always more expensive. Always. My grocery bill is high already but would double, at least, every month if we went totally organic. 

  A family only has so much money to live on and we all pick and choose what we spend it on. Yes we choose. We choose piano lessons and soccer. French tutors and good shoes. Snow suits and warm boots. Bicycles and braces. And yes we choose visits to Disney and family pizza nights too. 

  Every month I pay a mortgage on a house we bought primarily because it was in a good school district. I make a car payment on a vehicle that is kid-friendly and has room for their friends too. Money goes into an RESP so both my kids have the opportunity to go on in their education if they choose to. I try to put some cash aside for our retirement so we aren't relying on our children to care for us in our golden years. Our financial life is based almost entirely on our children.

  Parents take enough crap daily on our choices. We are judged by everyone....including other parents! I'm doing the best I can. 99.9% of all parents are too. We are all aware we could do better. What we don't need is you trying to publicly shame us for not meeting your ideals. I am aware it takes a village to raise a child but the village should be a supportive one, not a judgmental one.

  One final note. My friend Mari, who I affectionately call "Granola" at times, doesn't judge. Why is she different? I think it's because she has children and knows first hand the financial choices parents make daily and how we struggle to make the right ones. Parents seem to get the most vocal judgement on this topic from childless people. 

  Why can't we all be more like Mari?

  Ang

  

  

  

The Flu

  Tuesday night I went to bed a bit later than normal for a school night but feeling good. I woke up Wednesday morning with the flu. And a bad one. The entire day I could do nothing but sleep. Oh yeah and blow my nose.

  By the early evening I was cold, hot and shaky. I was coughing and my nose was running. And I was grey. That's how John described me. It took all my energy to make it to the bathroom to get cold water for the cloth on my forehead. I was feeling worse and my Warner sinuses were not helping at all. John brought me juice and more tissues. Sleep was my best friend.

  Thursday proved to be an even bigger challenge when my body decided the only way to clear my lungs was that ugly cough that hurts and makes your throat raw. My cough medicine of choice did nothing. Except make me cough more. I was another level of miserable. And because I was almost non-stop coughing, sleep never came. It was impossible to elevate myself high enough to get any relief.

  Friday morning John stayed home to take Alex to an orthodontic appointment. I managed to get downstairs and was upright long enough to hard boil some eggs....though I did need to take them upstairs to eat. After work my friend brought me some soup and I felt I would live since I was able to eat twice in one day. It's the simple things I guess.

  Saturday was a challenge after another night of interrupted sleep. My cough was worse and still sleep eluded me. But I managed to rest which is almost as good. That night I got a full uninterrupted 8 hours! While I still coughed periodically, Sunday was much better. I was tired but on the mend. 

  This morning I awoke to no sinus headache and less coughing. My throat is only a little bit sore and while I won't have a cup of hot coffee, I might manage a warm tea later. I'm not hot or cold. My bones no longer ache. I am over the worst. I will live.

  John, Alex and Riley all stepped up while I was ill. In fact they went above and beyond. The house is clean. Groceries are bought. Laundry washed, dried and put away. John even painted the dining room and kitchen! Alex cooked most meals and made school lunches. Riley got his own lunches too and caught the bus every day. They need me less and less. What a wonderful feeling to know they are independent enough to take on what has to be done.

  Maybe I need to get sick more often!

  Ang

  

Get Over It

  Yesterday I heard a response from Canadian Senator Murray Sinclair to the question "Why don't indigenous people just get over the trauma of residential schools?" that made me say "YES!!" in my empty house. Here is his reply....

  "Why can't you always remember this? Because this is about memorializing those people who have been the victims of a great wrong. Why don't you tell the United States to "get over" 9/11? Why don't you tell this country to "get over" all the veterans who died in the Second World War, instead of honoring them once a year? Why don't you tell your families to stop thinking about all of your ancestors who died? Why don't you turn down and burn down all of those headstones that you put up for all of your friends and relatives over the years? It's because it's important for us to remember. We learn from it."

  Read that statement again. Doesn't it put things in perspective? Not just this one issue but every single one where you continually hear "Why don't they just get over it?"  Brilliant.

  Why can't we, all non-indigenous people, remember this? Are we ashamed? We should be. Do we feel it's in the past and we should move on? Of course we do. Should we move on? Once we have learned everything we possibly can from it perhaps. But we haven't yet. Not even close. If we had we wouldn't be asking that same old question.

  I don't know how to solve this issue. I don't know how I can help these now men and women move past the fear and trauma of watching other children disappear. I'm not even sure they can. But I do know saying "Get over it" isn't the way.

  Ang

  

  

Words

  People sometimes forget that words have meanings. Not just Webster's meanings either. When you speak, you can not take back those words. They are out there in the universe forever. Ten, twenty years from now, someone might react to something you've said with "Hey remember that time you said....". And in this technological age, where everyone has a smart phone, you can be damn sure someone has you on video saying something you will come to regret. 

  I believe that words have unlimited power. How we use them on a daily basis affects every single aspect of our lives. Good and bad. Make a snide comment about a co-worker and watch how everyone else treats you from then on. Like the plague. Talk about your brother's divorce as a failure and don't be surprised if Thanksgiving dinner is uncomfortable.

  We all know that while arguing with our significant other we need to be careful just how far we go with our words. Some words can change the entire relationship for ever. Or end it. The realization that words cannot be taken back, no matter how many times you apologize, is a life lesson some folks never seem to learn. Or learn from.

  This all leads me to the speech made at the United Nations today by Donald Trump. Using the words "Rocket Man" in reference to Kim Jong Un is not only childish but extremely dangerous. For all of us. It is public shaming of the scariest kind. Imagine how the diplomats trying to ease tensions will be met by their North Korean counterparts. Not with open arms I assure you. Those two little words could change the world. 

  What this 71 year old has never learned is that sometimes words can provoke the same reaction as a weapon. In this case with dire consequences. His use of words is scary. His lack of thought put into them even more so. 

  Think before you speak. Twice if necessary. That goes for voting too.

  Ang


  

Piano Time

  We got a piano today. It's big, beautiful and old. While we still aren't 100% sure it needs to be tuned, it's a wonderful sound filling our house. No volume control though like the keyboard had. It's one level...loud. Oh well I'll get used to it.

  The piano made us re-evaluate furniture placement in our living room. It's the only space capable of housing something so big. But that led to a day of moving sofas, chairs and tables. And cleaning. Lets not forget the cleaning. We have some out of control dust bunnies in this house let me tell you.

  Now the room looks brand new. It seems bigger. And the ceilings higher. John kept telling me we need height. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get it but I'm thinking a tall fern. Or a tropical palm. In a huge pot. Just like I put outside this summer. Fingers crossed that's what he meant by "height".

  With the living room looking new and pretty, the connecting dining room looks dated and blah. While it used to suit our taste, it no longer goes with the house. I guess we will add that to the very long list of things we want, and or need, to change about this house. That list is now longer than the wall I was talking about. We will have to win the lottery to complete it.

  I guess I'll never be satisfied with this house. But today I'm happy with the living room. At least til it's piano practice time.

  Hmmm I wonder how much ear plugs cost?

  Ang