Broad Strokes

  I'm looking through Facebook this morning. Catching up on the life events of friends and family. You know, snooping while having my morning coffee. When I came across a comment made on a friend's post. This woman said children aren't respectful and that we aren't allowed to teach them respect. Hmmmm that seems weird.

  My kids, aged 8 and 12, have friends over often. They are always respectful of our home and the things in it, for the most part, and nothing that a quick reminder doesn't fix. If they make a mess, they help clean it up before they go. No arguments. They say please and thank you. That all seems respectful.

  When my boys go somewhere else they are always complimented on their politeness and kindness. Always. They are asked back, always a good sign. And so far, touch wood, I've never been asked to pay for anything that has been broken or ruined. Again, that seems respectful.

  So who was this lady talking about? Who isn't allowed to teach their kids respect? No one I know. In fact just the opposite.

  I went to my son's high school. Two thousand kids. Someone held the door for me, both in and out. When I asked directions a teenage girl answered with a smile and showed me the way. Another said "Oh I'm heading that way I'll take you.". Not a teacher in sight I might add. So they weren't doing it to show off.

  At the mall last week, a boy of about sixteen held the elevator for my aunt as we walked toward it. Didn't need to be asked. He just did it. And didn't look annoyed. That seems respectful to me.

  Again I ask...who are these kids she is talking about? I'm not naive. There are lots of nasty people in the world. At my kids schools. At the malls. At church even...ever try to get out of the parking lot at Christmas? But I think we, or just this lady at least, are focusing on the few bad ones and not on the many good ones.

  Perhaps if we showered attention on the great kids we would be better off. I'm not talking about the kids who will change the world. They get enough accolades. Or the "bad kids" with lots of issues. They need a different kind of attention. I'm talking about the kids who hold open doors and say please and thank you. The decent kids whose parents are teaching them to be respectful of themselves and others. Decent human beings. You know...the majority of kids out there. My kids. Your kids.

  To this lady I would like to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm sorry this is your experience. I'm sorry you can't see the good for the bad. 

  But I have a sneaky suspicion she is talking about teaching respect of the hitting kind...and I can't agree with that.

  Ang